What Could Possibly Go Wrong? Flower Shell Edition

I used to know this gardener who was a demon in bed. When those seeds weren’t being planted the gardener taught me some basic lessons about making things grow. (So to speak.) I learned to prepare the soil, spread the seeds evenly and gently cover them with soil. The planting process was gentle, rhythmic and . . . where was I? Right, it was not something I’d attempt via shotgun blast. The dispersal wouldn’t be even enough. I wouldn’t know where all the seeds had landed, so covering them all would be problematic. As would firing off shells into the ground in suburban Austin. Other than that, what could possibly go wrong? Click here for flowershell.com. [h/t DS]

comments

  1. avatar Charles5 says:

    A gimmick gift, nothing more.

  2. avatar Javier says:

    What do you mean gardening? These are clearly self defense loads. Flower power = stopping power.

  3. avatar KingSarc48265 says:

    Reminds me of an old Red Green sketch where they were shooting beer nuts into the ground to grow a beer tree.

  4. avatar 505markf says:

    LMAO… So I see disgruntled, male retirees, badgered by their wives who “want a garden”, striding around their yard, blasting away, cigar clenched angrily in their teeth. Blam! Blam! Reload. Blam! Blam! Neighbors scurrying for cover, sirens getting closer and closer. Reload. Blam! Blam! Cops unload from their car, guns pointed, screaming at the man to drop the gun. He complies and stands there. As they approach him cautiously, one of them asks, “What the hell were you doing?”

    “Planting a fucking garden!” he says.

    1. avatar Jim Jones says:

      Epic win!

  5. avatar PeterC says:

    It’s ideas like this that give loons a bad name!

  6. avatar The Original Brad says:

    I bet you could turn them deadly again by turning them into cut shells.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k3M46XVfVOU

    1. avatar 505markf says:

      Now THAT is some extremely useful stuff. Never heard of that technique before, but I like it!

      1. avatar Bret says:

        I have a friend who tries it out of a handgun, cut it wrong, and a few pellets fly backwards. Not sure how well that would work in a shotgun is it were to happen.

  7. avatar TheBear says:

    “I used to know this gardener who was a demon in bed. When those seeds weren’t being planted”… sigh.

  8. avatar dudebro says:

    I could see this creating a bountiful fruit orchard and vegetable crops right before the city fines you for an un-permitted vegetable garden and the goon squad comes to tear it up

  9. avatar Kerry says:

    Great self-defense round. Once you blast the bad guy with flower seeds it redefines the phrase “pushing up daises”.

  10. avatar Stephen M. says:

    …damn hippies.

    Oh, wait, it comes in poppy, that explains it.

    1. avatar Matt in FL says:

      And let’s not forget “Columbine.”

      I know it’s a flower.

  11. avatar peirsonb says:

    “No, I’m not open carrying a firearm. This is a high velocity vegetation introduction device.”

  12. avatar 505markf says:

    I just want to see the coroner’s report if one of these was used in a DGU. “Victim was killed by seeds…”

    At least it’s an organic way to go. And no lead poisoning to the environment. Might be something to latch onto.

  13. avatar Dark Alley Dan says:

    Silly bastards.

    When we still shot CAS, Dad and I worked up a load using navy beans buffered with dryer lint. Still clanged the steel well enough, but reduced ricochet risk to nil. Also gave us something useful to do with dryer lint, so there really wasn’t a downside.

    Were we doing it as a protest against the lethality of “led” shot? Hardly. Just being creative hillbillies.

  14. avatar Leadbelly says:

    Where’s the “tactical hemp load”?

  15. avatar ensitue says:

    One born every minute

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