Giovanna Borge (courtesy opposingviews.com)

Giovanna Borge told Port St. Lucie police that her boyfriend “said something to her she did not like.” tcpalm.com takes it from there. “Borge said she then grabbed a water pistol, squirting her boyfriend with water. The boyfriend, she said, then dumped a container of water on her and hit her with a pillow. She wound up in the tub in the bathroom after ‘mutual shoving.’ Meanwhile, the boyfriend said Borge started screaming at him and squirted him with the water gun after which the two made mad passionate love.” Just kidding. Domestic violence is a serious business even when it involves pillows and a squirt gun. And a paper bag. “Borge, of the 1900 block of Southeast Hillmoor Drive in Port St. Lucie, was breathing in a rapid, shallow manner. Police gave her a bag to breathe in and took her to jail.” Police charged her with Simple Battery/Domestic Violence. No word on whether cops confiscated the gun. [h/t EI]

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37 Responses to FL Woman Arrested For Squirt Gun “Assault”

  1. Yeah, but the makeup sex. I married crazy the first time. The sex with crazy is outstanding. But sooner or later you have to sleep. Anybody remember “Play Misty For Me.”?

    • So you married a bunny-boiler? You have my sympathies, man. My last one was a thief, but at least she didn’t try to cook my cats.

      • I had an chick 12 yrs my senior for several months. She would wake me up on the hour for head, let me nut and go back to sleep. 12x in 12 hrs once on a saturday. this was her sadistic way of having control . . . . I was just sore. But she would screw anywhere (even her office at a major company during lunch) and anytime (read the 12 hr comment). When we fought, she would come over with a bottle of wine, a gift for me (like cufflinks or cigars), and we would screw repeatedly. yeah, psycho is fun but . . . .

  2. Wasn’t the first actual ‘assault’ him hitting her with the pillow? Why didn’t they give her a towel and a ride to the hospital to get checked out and throw his ass in jail. If she squirted him with bodily fluids, and it wasn’t time for a golden shower then maybe she assaulted him. But water? Really?

  3. Since this is misdemeanor domestic violence, will the Lautensquirt amendment keep her from ever owning another squirt gun?

  4. Maybe the police know something we don’t? in which case it might be justice served after all? Either that or they’re just a bunch of sexist pigs, eh?

    I dated a crazy chick once. Crazy and Vietnamese, in fact. She just might have been VC in another life. Just because they don’t always wear black pajamas doesn’t mean you might not wake up with your Ka-Bar sticking out of your chest.

    Tom

    • “He woke up dead!”

      “How can a man wake up dead?”

      “When he went to sleep, he was alive. When he woke up, he was dead!”

      • Hell no, Dirk.

        Because, in what had to be the ultimate in irony, Sprint gave me HER old number when I changed it. Fortunately she never got the idea of dialing it. (btw, I’ve since dumped Sprint and gone StraightTalk – not ever looking back)

        And more to the point – last I heard, she lives in metro St. Louis.

        I think that’s close enough, don’t you?

        Tom

        • Ok give me a name. I can look her up. 🙂 I will just use your name as an introduction.

  5. “Domestic violence is a serious business even when it involves pillows and a squirt gun. And a paper bag. ”

    NO IT ISN’T, because there was no violence. This was a minor domestic ARGUMENT. Maybe even a major argument, but there was no assault.

    If I want to get violent, I’m not going to pick up a PILLOW, or squirt water on someone with a squirt gun. Get real.

  6. This is by far the easiest step to take, but for some reason it is the hardest for a lot of guys. Let’s face it, we’re men, and most of us have way too much pride. You definitely have to check your ego at the door when you have that conversation with your girl which starts out, Hey baby, I know when we’re in bed together, I’m not satisfying you the way I should be. Tell me what I’m doing wrong and what you would like me to do to make the experience more pleasurable for you. That is not an easy thing for most guys to look a woman in the eye and say, but you should. Why? Because more often than you would think, she’ll give you a very cut and dry answer that is easy to put into practice. She could say something as simple as it would turn her on more if you talked dirty to her. There you go. Problem solved! Or maybe there’s a position she wants to try because she knows it would set her off, she’s just been too shy to ask you. Whatever it is, give her the chance to tell you!

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