Daily Digest: You Don’t Want To Do That Edition

NSA Headquarters Fort Meade c Wikipedia

When you can’t use a gun, use your wits. A woman in Washington, D.C. scared off a would-be mugger Monday night by telling him she was an intern for the NSA and had no cash to give him. When he demanded her phone, she told him that due to her employment, it would be tracked “within minutes” by the NSA and would be more trouble for him than it was worth. Deciding that tangling with the NSA was more than he bargained for, he ran off. It’s good that it worked out well for the woman (who most assuredly does not work for the NSA), but I wouldn’t bet my life on it working twice . . .

In case you were wondering, yes, people are actually getting in trouble for having more than 7 rounds in a magazine in New York. A Lockport, NY man was arrested and cited for violation of the SAFE Act Saturday morning. When the vehicle he was riding in was stopped by police for a traffic violation, he informed police that his semi-automatic handgun, for which he has a permit, was in the glove box. When the officer inspected the weapon, he found that it had 10 rounds of 9mm ammunition in the magazine. If convicted of the misdemeanor charge, he could face a $200 fine and/or six months in jail.

Failure: Rule #4, Know your target and what is beyond it. A Nashville, Tennesee man was “playing” with his gun (his words) late Sunday night when it discharged, going through the floor and striking a woman in the apartment below him in the shoulder. She was sleeping, six feet from the baby’s crib, with her husband and six-year-old also in the house. She was hospitalized with serious, but not life-threatening injuries, the bullet having stopped in her chest where doctors intend to leave it. Dumbass was arrested, both for reckless endangerment and for the drugs police found in his apartment. I’d also put money on evicted.

A South Florida man is in custody on “multiple charges” tonight after an altercation involving multiple firearms outside a Lake Worth sports bar. After being denied entry when “he attempted to enter the bar with a firearm and knife holstered on his side,” Roland Dumdum [absolutely his real name] left, but then returned with an AR-15. When witnesses ran to their car, Dumdum chased them and fired one round through the passenger window. One person in the car “handed over about $450 in cash, his cellphone, condoms and a lighter. After being robbed, that victim took off running toward the bar, prompting Dumdum to fire 19 shots at him.” The story makes no mention of any hits. When police arrived, they found Dumdum still outside the bar, and took him into custody. The Aristocrats!

GLOCK-brand GLOCK. Taste the rainbow. Let’s see your 1911 do this.

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comments

  1. avatar tdiinva says:

    The NSA has fearsome reputation. When you go to the cafeteria you see people who have trouble feeding themselves. It’s geek city.

    1. avatar Max McGuire says:

      I have eaten in the NSA cafeteria. Can confirm.

    2. avatar Jeff the Griz says:

      Details? Are they just so geeked out that they cannot function in social areas or what?

      1. avatar tdiinva says:

        There is an old joke at NSA that goes:

        Q: How do you tell an introvert from an extrovert?
        A: An introvert walks around staring at their own shoes. An extrovert walks around staring at other people’s shoes.

        NSA is the realm of mathematicians, computer programmers and eccentric foreign language specialists. There are no James Bond types there. If they need something spooky done they get someone else to do it.

        1. avatar Jus Bill says:

          You forgot the mumbling part.

  2. avatar Cliff H says:

    Somehow I don’t feel like the tie-die folks in California are going to appreciate this video.

    1. avatar Roscoe says:

      Gee, Matt finally found an appropriate use for a Glock.

      1. avatar Andrew says:

        ^^^^^^^^^ +1

    2. avatar David PA/NJ says:

      Can anyone explain what was going on?

      1. avatar Stinkeye says:

        The same thing happens if you put a drop of dish soap into a bowl of milk + food coloring. The soap lowers the surface tension of the water in the milk, and bonds with the fat molecules in it, causing the swirling, mixing reaction. It’s a common grade-school science experiment.

        I think this guy just put some soap on the barrel of his gun, and is making a bunch of shit up about the Tenifer coating causing a reaction.

  3. avatar Tom in Oregon says:

    The matrix. I knew it. Now where did I put the blue pill…

  4. avatar Ing says:

    Roland Dumdum… You can’t make that shit up. Nobody would believe it. Heck, I don’t believe it even now.

    1. avatar jwm says:

      Leonard Embody carried to the nth degree.

  5. avatar William Burke says:

    It woulda been better with “White Rabbit” as the soundtrack.

  6. avatar Avid Reader says:

    What’s that smell?

    Oh, nothing. My Glock just curdled.

  7. avatar Accur81 says:

    I can honestly say I’ve never done that with a Glock.

  8. avatar Citizen says:

    I think that’s the first time I’ve ever laughed at anything ending “The Aristocrats!”

  9. avatar Brendan says:

    Wait what happened to the probable cause in checking the amount of rounds in the magazine in NY? Oh that’s right it’s NY…where the good guys are criminals and the criminals are good guys

  10. avatar Nathanredbeard says:

    “When you multiply a trollionic matrix by the ballsackian coefficient of the solution, you get what’s called a Bronie-Laurens chaos reaction.” Science is so awesome!!!

    1. avatar Lucas D. says:

      I used to agree about science, but then some chick blinded me with it.

      1. avatar jwm says:

        I guess implants are a result of science.

  11. avatar Soccerchainsaw says:

    “Common sense” gun control: 7 rounds-ok, 10 rounds-go to jail. Makes sense to me, or maybe not so much….

    1. avatar Gs650g says:

      Yes because 7 rounds is SAFE and 10 represents a hazard to society.

  12. avatar Don says:

    The Aristocrats!

  13. avatar SdubM45 says:

    Some days I would love to buy up whole boxes of Glock G17 magazines and randomly distribute them around NYC just for kicks.

  14. avatar Out_Fang_Thief says:

    1) So, the NSA has a reputation that’s the same as saying you’re with the Mafia?

    2) How many times do we have to say it? STFU! Don’t volunteer info to the Police.

    3) This Darwin Award, Honorable Mention nominee shoots neighbor instead of self.
    Maybe he’ll have better luck next time.

    4) Dumdum should be glad his story wasn’t posted on TTAG’s DGUOTD. Damn it!

    5) Well, at least there’s that. So Glock’s are actually good for something after all.

  15. avatar Russ Bixby says:

    Some sh¡thole shoots my gal through the ceiling, there won’t be anything left to arrest.

    Crike.

  16. avatar Luc says:

    That’s a really big parking lot. Would be a lot more efficient just to build a parking garage.

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