Gun Tweet of the Day: Piers Morgan’s New Book Finds A Home

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Comedian Ricky Gervais demonstrates just how popular the pompous CNN demagogue still is with most of his former countrymen. Assuming Ricky’s cockatiel cage is already well covered and depending on the funnyman’s diet and fiber intake, those 337 pages of daft dreck should keep him from having to make a TP run for quite some time. If you’re the unfortunate one in the office who snags one of these works of fiction from your secret Santa this year, what will you do with it?

comments

  1. avatar Aidan says:

    Someone should print things like this directly on toilet paper. Seriously. I’d buy it. Take my money.

    1. avatar Anonymous says:

      Agreed. I’d wipe my @ss with Piers Morgan’s words. That’s really all they’re good for anyways.

      1. avatar Xanthro says:

        I wouldn’t stain my shit with Morgan’s crap.

        1. avatar Don says:

          nice, never heard this one before.

      2. avatar ChuckN says:

        I’d settle for Morgan’s face on TP.

  2. avatar Matt in FL says:

    Ricky Gervais’ comedy is really hit or miss for me. I loved the BBC’s The Office, Extras was pretty good, and Derek is just painful. But on this, he and I are in total agreement.

    Alternately, I could tear the pages out, run them through my shredder, and then use them as packing material for gun-related Christmas presents to other people.

    1. avatar Ron Burgundy says:

      Derek is great, but I think many people can’t handle confronting stuff, or something multidimensional, as it’s a drama show with some comedy.

      But anyway, why not just NOT buy the book? Saves us putting money in the wrong pockets.

      1. avatar C says:

        Shoplifting. obvi.

  3. avatar DanRRZ says:

    I’ll suggest a TTAG target contest, however I would be hard pressed to send a penny to Piers, unless of course it was going towards a flight back home for good.

  4. avatar DrVino says:

    Wasn’t Gervais in one of those TV commercials for a Call of Duty type of FPS game not too long ago?

  5. avatar Accur81 says:

    Indeed. I’d use the gun for target practice, but only if I could obtain one (legally) with giving one cent to Piers.

    1. avatar Leadbelly says:

      Did he even have enough to say to stop a .22? I doubt it would even make backstop for a pellet gun.

      1. avatar Run4 says:

        Our buddy Piers always has too much to say – loves to hear his own voice and lacks an off switch – the book’s probably thick-enough to warrant a warning to make sure a child (or small adult like myself) can’t tip it over onto themselves. I’ll attempt to verify this hypothesis ASAP.

        I promise right now that I won’t attempt to hold you responsible if I pull a muscle trying to lift the thing, assuming he (as usual) didn’t know when to STFU.

        On the other hand, I will make every attempt to bring Piers to court in the event that I suffer a hernia trying to give a damn about what he has to say.

    2. avatar Ing says:

      Same here. If someone gave it to me, I’d give it the same treatment I gave some of my least-favorite grad-school textbooks after finding out they had no value on the used market. Manufacturing confetti at 75 yards, one 30-caliber bullet at a time.

  6. avatar uncommon_sense says:

    “If you’re the unfortunate one in the office who snags one of these works of fiction from your secret Santa this year, what will you do with it?”

    Oh, now doubt whatsoever … it will be my family’s white elephant Christmas exchange gift in perpetuity.

  7. avatar Russ Bixby says:

    Not going to happen; as a single proprietor, I’ve a very small office staff.

    That said, should a copy wend its way into my hands, I’ll dissolve it in nitric and sulphuric acids, bury it two feet down with an electrically triggered pyrotechnic squib and make of it a very small mushroom cloud.

    1. avatar Russ Bixby says:

      EDIT: Or I might correct any gramatical, spelling and usage errors, critique the overall thesis and send it back marked F.

  8. avatar GM248 says:

    Simple, I’d shoot straight at it.

  9. avatar BillF says:

    I’ll just repeat my original comment from the original Piers Morgan book post from a few days ago:
    “I only see one purpose for “Shooting Straight”. After it gets moved to the 99 cent shelf it would be good bathroom material–to be used and flushed a page or two at a time.”
    Ricky Gervais stole my material. 🙂

  10. avatar HiPlanesDrifter says:

    Shooting Straight? Really, Piers? That’s funny coming from the most dishonest journalist (and I use that term extreeeeemely loosely) of our age, a disgraced unrepentant traitorous fraud.

    1. avatar TTACer says:

      Happy coincidence-he made the front page of Cracked.com today:

      http://www.cracked.com/article_20522_the-5-ballsiest-lies-mainstream-media-passed-off-as-fact.html

      I should add that it is no wonder that “his” home country does not want him bac.

  11. avatar Chad says:

    use it to check the pattern on my 1921 Ithaca Flues double barrel.

  12. avatar Ralph says:

    I don’t think that Pierced Organ’s book is worthy of my @ss.

  13. avatar Rambeast says:

    Hollow out a section, pack with tannerite, and BOOM! Make it a raffle and donate the proceeds to the NRA.

    1. avatar DJ9 says:

      Yup, Tannerite for the Win!

      Fastest way to make confetti.

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U3Pes45boT8

      Call it “recycling” and the progressives will embrace it.

    2. avatar Russ Bixby says:

      I dunno. Tannerite can be dangerous if surrounded with anything heavy or dense, which certainly describes P.M. and his writing.

      A ton and a half of pure BS might make for some dangerous shrapnel…

  14. avatar Robert Seddon says:

    These books make a GREAT TARGET for any AR 15.
    Robert Seddon

  15. avatar Tom in Oregon says:

    Hit it with a .50 bmg API round then frame it for the gun room.

  16. I am a bit surprised by this…Gervais is a flaming liberal himself.

    1. avatar Matt in FL says:

      Yeah, but he also knows pedantic stupidity when he sees it, and he’s not afraid to point it out.

    2. avatar mark_anthony_78 says:

      He’s perfectly welcome to be a liberal in his views / how he lives day-to-day.

      I haven’t heard him on the TV, internet, etc. lobbying to take my rights away.

      1. avatar disthunder says:

        Bingo. He’s more than welcome to believe and make fun of whoever and whatever he wants, and it suits me fine. Its only when he takes an active part in trying to tell me how to live that its a problem, and I haven’t seen or heard anything along those lines from him.

  17. avatar BillF says:

    The shape of Morgan’s head always reminds me of someone. Here he is now–announcing the end of his show! http://youtu.be/gBzJGckMYO4

    1. avatar Lucas D. says:

      Funny. To me, the shape of Piers’ head reminds me of what they call in his native tongue a “Bell End.”

  18. avatar Paul B says:

    I would say it would be a good target out to about 200 or so.

  19. avatar Paul53 says:

    Tried to put a copy in my range bag but the zombie targets keep throwing it back yelling something about neighborhood standards.

    1. avatar Roscoe says:

      Now THAT’s funny, even zombies have higher standards.

      Classic.

  20. avatar Mistereveready says:

    I’d just use it to test different loads of 22LR out of my new Mossberg Plinkster.

  21. avatar Chip says:

    Being slightly familiar with the particular publishing house and the standards required of their printers….. I would cut the spine, take 25 or so pages at a time and roll them into tight little logs, Dip both ends (just the ends, about an inch each) in paraffin wax, and then use them as fire starters. Not as much fun as making confetti at 20 yards to be sure but at least it will make Morgan useful for once in his life.

  22. avatar nemsis says:

    I hope he didn’t buy that book, don’t want that POS to make a dime off that garbage.

    1. avatar Jus Bill says:

      Like Abbie Hoffman said: “Steal this book!”

  23. avatar Kenneth Kish says:

    This is an EASY ONE…….
    PULL……BOOM!!

  24. avatar rammerjammer says:

    One more reason to love Ricky Gervais.

  25. avatar Lucas D. says:

    I’d quickly return the book to its proper pedestal beside the Necronomicon before the ancient Evil Ones notice that their toady Piers Morgan stole it and put his name on the cover.

  26. avatar Zach says:

    I don’t see that as a good idea. Toilet paper is supposed to remove shit not add it.

  27. avatar Cubby123 says:

    Piers is a Lamo!

  28. avatar benny says:

    Should one ever come into my possession…I’d hollow out the inside and hide my .45 inside.

    Irony at its best.

    1. avatar Matt in FL says:

      My favorite suggestion so far.

    2. avatar BillF says:

      Probably the best place to keep anything safe. You could leave it in plain sight and no one would ever touch it.

  29. avatar MojoRonin says:

    I just got a rifle I have to get zero’d in, and with a little bit of tannerite…

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