Incoming! I’m prepared for the inevitable [unintentionally ironic] accusations of “safety Nazi” and “killjoy.” The gun involved is, after all, as yellow as an inner city anti-gun politician without an armed escort and as plastic as a Hollywood actress in her early 40’s. But let’s face it: anyone shooting anything at anyone in the People Republic of Kalifornia is tempting fate, SWAT death-wise. (I’m not sure if CA cops have aerated a citizen for shooting the breeze but I wouldn’t be surprised if they had.) There’s a difference between good clean fun and assaulting strangers with a gun-shaped object unleashing a stream of liquid that could be water but could well be something more insidious, given how nuts you have to be to shoot strangers with a squirt gun. IMHO.

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32 Responses to What Could Possibly Go Wrong: Squirtle Edition

  1. In most places squirting someone with an unknown substance qualifies as assault. If it were done from/to a moving vehicle (including a bicycle) it can qualify as Felonious Assault. We had such a case in my part of Virginia a few years back where the assailant was convicted of Assault and Battery due to video footage they took (much like this “prank”) and given a maximum fine and six months community service. In Virginia the penalty for a conviction for assault and battery is up to 12 months in jail and/or a maximum fine of $2,500. Virginia Criminal Code § 18.2-57.

  2. The darlings who hang out on Michigan Ave in Chicago do not want to waste water. Obviously this is the reason they fill their squirt guns with ammonia.

  3. In real life, as opposed to rap video, the squirtler might have to have that water pistol surgically removed from his colon.

  4. That black guy must have been living under a rock lately. Doesn’t he realize he can be legally shot on sight? Here’s this fool running around with a gun. When someone kills him, don’t go complaining about him being a good boy who was unarmed.

  5. umm, I think that’s Fla, not CA.

    Anyhow, this looks like one of those situations where I’d probably get really mad for 3 seconds, then look around and laugh at how mad I just got. It’s summer – lighten up!

    • Lighten up? Sorry, the last thing we think when we see a black guy is “practical joker”. Now….if some young white kid was doing it, I truly could see the humor and would ask if he had his own show on MTV yet.

  6. Doesn’t look much like a gun to me, but what he does is more than enough to stomp a mud puddle in his ass and then stomp it dry.

    • That was my first thougt as well. Not that he was, but that someone might worry that he might be and in a fit of civic-minded zeal do him injury.

      BTW: technically, acids are not caustic; the word applies only to alkaline substances.

  7. I spent time in a city(the biggest hobo camp in the quadrant…wait, no it was just Eugene, OR) where it was at one point common practice to administer random folks with LSD. Not sure I’d trust a random squirtgun so quickly.

  8. Safety concerns aside that is an extremely lame prank. Is that all he could come up with? Spritzing someone with a squirt gun isn’t that funny past age 5.

  9. If Obama had a son . . . but seriously, someone needs to explain to Trayvon that he might be look at the receiving end of a few rounds of 9mm. . . .

  10. First off, that’s not even remotely funny, and secondly (not to get all ITG), but I take a punch first approach to strangers squirting me with unknown liquids. I’m very surprised he didn’t get the crap beat out of him.

    “Oh, you have a camera and that somehow makes it okay? I don’t think so.” Punch.

  11. I know he’s just having fun, but I’d still be irritated if he squirted me. Not “felonious assault” irritated, but possibly “uncivil language” irritated.

  12. If a crew-cut white dude in Indiana squirted white girls in Indiana, would we see it on TTAG? As a kid, I ran around in a pretty rough Houston neighborhood with all manner of real-looking toy guns. Granted, I was not this obnoxious. Can gun people stop being such pvssies (I hate to use the term, as I consider the vagina to be a brave organ)? Probably not. Seriously. It’s an annoying dude with a squirt gun. Man up.

    • Ditto. Is he a dick? Yes. Could the next bin laden be squirting radioactive waste in orlando? maybe. If he got his ass kicked would be deserve it? Probably. Does it warrant my time with this comment? Damn… just wasted my time.

  13. Hmm, I’m thinking about meeting force with equal force. . . that is I’m thinking if this guy ‘pranked’ me I’d likely ‘return fire’ with my can of Fox 5.3 OC. It’s harmless, right? Just prankin’ with ya buddy!

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