Reader Dave H. put his thinking cap on and has devised a way to soothe the fragile psyches of some of those we deal with on a regular basis:
I read about the decision to ban fifty word from New York tests because they didn’t meet politically correct muster. Like others on the site, I let a few rants fly in the discussion, but then I had an epiphany: “The guy down the street with all the guns is right”. No wait, that was a poster I saw yesterday. I realized maybe we could PC-ize the “assault weapon.” Turn their favorite weapon – words – against them. I mean who would be afraid of a “high capacity magazine” (their term not mine) if we called it instead a “manufacturer-standard cartridge loading device?” Of course, we don’t have to use these terms with our brothers and sister in arms, just the individuals disinclined to acquiesce to our request. Our request being, of course, leave me the hell alone to exercise my constitutional rights as I see fit. To aid in future
arguments discussions with the more “progressive”-minded gun grabbers, I came up with the following PC versions of assault weapon definitions . . .
Semi-automatic – Self repeating firearm (see…not nearly as scary)
Detachable magazine – Removable manufacturer-standard cartridge loading device
Collapsible stock- Multi-user ergonomic adjustable platform
Folding stock – Maximum space utilization platform
Pistol Grip – Ergonomic user interface handle
Threaded barrels – Muzzle device compatible barrel
Flash suppressor – Exhaust gas luminance control device or retina preservation system
Muzzle brakes – Exhaust gas recoil dampening device
Compensator – See above
Barrel shroud – Forward hand safety envelope
Assault weapon – Modular self-repeating home defense tool
I don’t really know if these would actually help in a prospective argument, but they might. And maybe they’d even get some new shooters to the range. That would make it all worth it.