Sometimes being armed isn’t enough. Sometimes you need to be lucky, too. As in depending on the inherent stupidity of most bad doods. That’s pretty much the reason Ellenton, Florida coin shop owner Fred Vandergraff is still alive. “(La’Tay) McKelly entered the coin shop Wednesday, pointed a gun at the store’s owner and pulled the trigger at least three times, but the gun did not fire. The store owner had his own gun and shot McKelly. McKelly then pistol-whipped the store owner in the head before taking off.” The story doesn’t specify the gun Vandergraff used, so let’s skip the caliber wars for now, OK? Nor does it explain why McKelly isn’t sporting more than only one newly-added orifice. The failed stick-up man is currently in a hospital bed with a (sadly) non-life threatening wound where he’s recuperating before changing venues to the the county hoosegow.

25 Responses to It Should Have Been a DGU: Lucky Stars Edition

  1. This would have been trayvon thug martin’s future! We should thank Zimmerman for a fatal shot!

    • So true, Rattler. The former Skittle eater was taught a tough lesson in holding ones temper in check. Don’t use your fists and concrete because your angered by a Barney Fife wannabe following you.
      Thank God Zimmy is now off da hook.

  2. Sounds like first degree attempted murder with a firearm. I don’t know what Florida’s laws are but would you consider this mere possession of a firearm during a felony or discharging it during a felony since it didn’t release a projectile?

  3. This is a recurring theme in roberies. Guns that won’t fire and bad guys so unskilled as to be completely hopeless with their guns. Where are the well oiled and professional crews we keep seeing in the movies?

  4. What type of gun did the store owner use? Obviously, it did not work, if he hit him three times. Time to learn how to shoot and what type of caliber to use. The criminal should be dead and not be wasting any tax payer’s money.

    • He didn’t hit him 3 times, The robber’s gun failed to fire three times. From what I gather, the store owner only fired once.

      If these people are going to shoot first, what chance does anyone have unless something goes wrong, like in this case. Anyone can be dead at the drop of the hat.

      This worries me a lot.

    • It is the misfortune of thieves that the guns they steal rarely come with the original instruction manual.

  5. That’s not criminal threat, he went in there with the intention of killing the person behind the counter regardless of who it was. If he doesn’t get life easily, then those are the laws that are broken, not the ones that allowed him to get the gun

  6. The original story has two different series of events for the same shooting… The one you used doesn’t make as much sense as the first.

    Perp walks into coin shop with a gun
    Perp has three or more consecutive failures to fire (lol)
    Store owner shoots perp once (lol)
    Perp pistol whips store owner
    Perp runs away

    OR

    Perp walks into coin shop with a gun
    Perp pistol whips store owner
    Perp has three or more consecutive failures to fire (lol)
    Store owner shoots perp once (lol)
    Perp runs away

    Nobody is going to charge and pistol whip somebody after their garbage piece fails and they in turn catch a hot one, THEN run away. Respectively, nobody in their right mind is going to stand there and get bitch-slapped with some clown’s sidearm after putting a single hole into said clown.

    Situation 1 doesn’t make a hell of a lot of sense. I think the original writer screwed the timeline up when he/she updated the story.

    • Haven’t you ever seen Superman? The perp shoots six times, the bullets ricochet off Supie, then the perp throws the gun at Supie and runs.

    • It is highly possible that the reason the clerk only got off one shot is that the BG took the first round, then slapped him silly with his useless pistol before running for the exit. In that situation I would have emptied the magazine as fast as I could, regardless of caliber, but that’s just me.

  7. That sombit would have worked right if the brother had shot it gangsta style. But noooooo, he had to sell out and resort to a mainstream grip.

  8. As an aside… Gangsta or otherwise, why in hell was this guy rocking a hoodie and a knit cap in the middle of July, in Florida?

    • Fashion demands sacrifice. You gotta sweat like a pig if you’re going to look gangsta for the security cameras.

      Glad it worked out 90% right. Mr. Vandergraf should have a lengthy conversation about his survival with two folks – whichever God (if any) he subscribes to, and the guy who trained him to only shoot bad people once. I wish him a speedy recovery and a peaceful life.

      And FFS, when you name your kid La’Tay, you’re dooming your kid to a life of this sort of foolishness. It’s like naming your daughter Candy and then being surprised when she grows up and enters the exciting glamourous life of Exotic Dance…

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