Champion marksperson Kirsten Weiss (courtesy rifleshootermag.com)

The People of the Gun are a people. Of the gun. For the gun. With a gun. Lots of guns. Clearly, correctly, our readers count themselves amongst their number. But would you ever date outside the fold? What if a woman—an otherwise completely suitable woman—didn’t like guns. She wasn’t against them but she didn’t fancy spending time at the range or gun competitions or gun shows or gun stores or on gun forums or perusing TTAG or watching gun TV shows etc.? Would that be a deal killer?

Click here to read the answer provided by marksperson Kirsten Weiss [above] on the TTAG forum, which begins “No it’s not a deal breaker. If he was totally and vehemently against guns? That’s probably a sign he has some other mental disorder and I would politely direct him to the nearest psychiatrist…and far away from me! But just not that into guns? Well . . .” Note: we put the same question to Nick.

107 Responses to Question of the Day: Would You Date Someone Who Isn’t Into Guns?

  1. Yes if she is merely not into them, but I could never date someone who was very anti-gun. People who are very anti-gun just don’t have the same personal and political values as I do. In short, they would be much to liberal and nanny state loving and I am a libertarian who believes in self reliance.

    • I’m kind of glad there’s something I can go ‘do’ & dissapear into that she doesn’t “need” to be involved (and MEDDLING!) with.

      And “NO!”, I don’t think I’m spending too much time & money on my guns!!! Love you too, honey.
      11!!!!

    • Me! Our first getaway date and spending more than a day together (this weekend) is in part a range trip.

    • my wife goes out monthly shooting w other stay at home moms and then they grab bkfst or lunch. she also finally took her CCW class and told me she wants a glock 26. Is she “into” guns? No. She doesn’t like too much info, doesn’t talk about guns all of the time, and won’t clean them after she shoots, but . . . at least she goes to the range.

    • When we first met, my wife was a hardcore hoplophobe. But shortly we met, I got her into paintball. That led to her being curious about firearms and I gladly taught her. 6 years later, she has two handguns and her carry permit and bugs me to go to the gun club. She has even started dropping hints about having her own AR.

    • Yo! A beautiful buxom brilliant redhead who’s smarter than I am. (Yep, I married up and am very happy about it!)

      She didn’t really care for guns until we took a beginner’s class together. (Her ex was a lousy teacher – and I like to learn from other’s mistaken when I can…)

      Fast-forward a few months … The first time I had my new 1911 at the range, my wife was with me. Just before we left she fired the last 8 rounds in the box – the first time she ever fired a 1911.

      I sure miss that gun…

    • Me. She came to me that way, courtesy of her father. She carries and is a pretty good shot with a pistol.

    • My wife wasn’t into guns, and while I had shot them in the past, neither was I.

      My wife started working to get us prepared for a financial hardship, food storage, year’s worth of income saved, etc, and started watching Doomsday Preppers.

      Even though the show is pretty ridiculous as to the people involved, she decided one day “I don’t feel safe without a gun in the house”. I took a class, bought a gun, bought ammo, and had a great time. I took my wife to the next class I took, and that day she bought a S&W 642 that she shoots at least once or twice a month at the range.

    • Me. I had fired a gun before but never owned one until I met my current girlfriend. Now I’m almost at 20 guns in just two years.

  2. Not being into them is fine, my wife isn’t really into them and I married her! I’m not into my wife’s hobbies of crocheting and sewing, and I’m pretty sure we’re still doing ok.

    Now on the other hand, if a prospective date (assuming I wasn’t already married) was anti, that changes things. I’d like to think I could give it a try, but if in the long run her position didn’t at least change to indifferent, it certainly wouldn’t work out.

  3. I dated an anti-gun, animal rights PETA woman before. I learned my lesson. I made it a game to torture her by telling about all my kills and trophies after my hunting trips. The fear of a gun in the house is a irrational fear and they need to get over it. Most will warm up to the idea if you just take them plinking once or twice.

    • Repeat that X3
      Most women have been trained to think an anti-gun stance off-sets their Late Term Abortion Stance (when they are one in the same)
      I do not demand that my women change for me but I have discovered that the same is not true of liberal women
      ergo I date ‘old fashioned women’, women that know the founding documents and hold Judeo-Christian values in high reguard

  4. I have. Took her to the range on our second date, let her empty a few mags in my AR. She’s now a member of the NRA.

    I’ve found that many women who are anti-gun on the surface are actually eager to get their hands on one. Just takes the right person to make that introduction.

    • I would be ok if they weren’t for them…but if they were anti it would never happen. That said I got my ex into Airsoft and another crush into it too…and I’m from jersey so…

  5. My wife is very supportive of my gun jones. My wife is an excellent shot and likes having a gun around the house but she is not a dedicated gun person like me. She doesn’t care about the history connected to guns and doesn’t care about the differences between a Glock and a Sig.

    We talked about guns before we got married. She did not own one but was glad I was bringing a gun into the marriage. Had she been anti gun or one of those”you’re not bringing that thing into my house” types there would have been no marriage.

  6. My wife was afraid of guns. I took her shooting and now I’m clear to buy whatever I want. Need a 2nd safe ? Not a problem ! So, those who are anti-gun because of sheer lack of experience should definitely be taken shooting. How do you think I became a gun owner ?? Ha ha. True story… Virulent anti-gun people have a serious mental issue and need professional help. Taking them shooting is probably not a good idea. The responsibility of safe firearms handling / ownership is more than they can handle.

  7. My girlfriend is fairly neutral-leaning-towards-positive on the 2A front, but does like to go shooting (oddly she likes my Judge the best) but certainly supports my hobbies and viewpoints.
    I really don’t think i could date someone who was anti-gun. As Has been said, their values/beliefs would be to disparate from my own for me to find them attractive enough to want to be around.
    I literally have the second amendment tattooed on my chest. nakedtimes with an anti would be a bit TOO politically lively!

  8. I was grateful to find my wife likes guns. She was happy when one of her birthday presents was some ammo so we could go shooting. (This was before Obummer got reelected so you could find ammo back then.)

  9. My wife was indifferent to firearms and shooting when we first started dating. Three years into our marriage and she is tooling up to CCW.

    With a few exceptions, if a person is rabidly anti-gun, then they usually fit another type of profile that I would rather not be around much less try and establish a romantic relationship.

    • My wife took the same path as yours is now taking, but her parents were anti’s. On our third date I took her to the range, boy her dad liked that. It took a while, but she really warmed up to them. She now carries her pistol 24/7 and likes to go shooting. For a lot of people all it takes is exposure.

      Btw, I got her mom and dad to shoot various pistols and a 12 gauge pump a few weekends ago, when they were visiting. They really enjoyed it. The future of our rights depends on bringing as many people as possible to our side, before its too late.

  10. I married the girl you described-not anti but otherwise had no interest. We were married for over a year before she went with me to the range for the first time. Now, we just had our 4th anniversary. We celebrated by going shooting. It was her idea. In short, they can be converted.

  11. I married someone who wasn’t into guns and then I converted her …and now she shoots her damn M&P Shield and any other small 9MM better than I can

  12. Like what everyone else has said so far:

    If they were neutral on guns, or just not a fan of them, and were willing to tolerate sharing me with my harem of rifles, handguns, and shotguns, then I could date her.

    If she were anti-gun… Dump the Unholy Bi†çh!

    • Harem of guns>Harem of women. Though, I’m sure some would disagree with me. But word of warning: One should never mix the two….Guns and scorned women are not a pretty combo ;D

  13. My wife likes to shoot, but rarely, and even then only enjoys taking a few shots. Even a .223 can be too much for her wimpy shoulder.

    The important thing is that she doesn’t care how many guns I own, how many cars I own, etc. and even asked me “do we have enough ammo?” when the post-Newtown ammo scare started happening.

    That’s good enough for me.

    • My wife is not ‘into guns’ but supports and understands why I am. After Sandyhook my wife didn’t bat an eye when the first thing I did was start picking up extra ammo, knowing that a shortage would soon be in the works. It may seem like a small thing to some, but that kind of silent support is priceless.

  14. It would be something to discuss over breakfast. 😉

    Since the woman whom I’m “dating” (hey, gotta keep that marriage fresh) has the same attitude about guns as she does about my riding a motorcycle (“if that’s your thing; just be careful and don’t hurt yourself” and, “so long as your chores are done”), I’d say I’m pretty well off.

  15. I tried dating people who are anti gun or afraid of guns. Doesn’t work and can’t work. It’s too much of a hobby and way of life for me. It is something that my brothers and I bond over. I was brought up bonding with my father over it. I am going to offer it to my kids. Antis and afraid/unwilling people can’t deal with that. A lot of political antis also don’t understand the world, or statistics, or perception or skepticism either.

    • Most importantly people who are ignorant and/or are afraid of guns are people who are unsafe around guns.

  16. If shes not interested in them and/or has not had any exposure to them then yes, I would give it a try. Against them? Not at all.

    I went in a date once, it was already akward from the start. We met on a dating site and in my profile I clearly state if you are against guns and for gun control then I am not interested. Halfway through an already akward evening she brought up the gun thing. I insisted that I meant what I said. Her reply was, “Well, I guess I would learn but only when the zombies come. I would need the confidence to make head shots.” She went on to say that guns are otherwise useless and are no good. Thats okay though, the whole date sucked anyways and in the end both dismissed eachother with a polite hug goodbye. Is the zombie craze over yet?

    New girlfreind carries by the way and she has more brains and common sense than even myself.

    • So guns are useless and no good aside from one totally make-believe circumstance that cannot and will not happen? Somebody had better tell that to our war veterans, our police officers, our security guards, and every single private citizen who’s ever used a gun to protect themselves from assault, rape or murder. Toss ’em out, guys! You heard the geek lady: they won’t do any good until the zombies come.

      Yup, real special gal you dated, there. Tell me, did she order the graham crackers or the plastic baggie full of cheerios?

      • Hahaha, glad I wasnt eating as I read that or Id probably be dead now. Actually it was Starbucks and it was a first and only date lol.

        • Touche. Just make sure you’re confident in your ability to pull off those headshots.

  17. I would and did. My fiancée wasn’t in to guns when we started dating. She was actually weirded out when she found out about my little collection, because she had different background that lead her to viewing guns in a not so positive light. Now she loves them:). She even believes in the 2nd for all the right reasons.

  18. “Not into guns” – As in can deal with, but not enthusiastic about? Sure.

    Anti or fearful or – No.

  19. Made that mistake on a very major level once, never again.

    Dealbreaker criteria these days is if not embracing, at least understanding and accepting the lifestyle.

      • Married who I thought was the love of my life, gave my firearms to my father to maintain a peaceful relationship, she left me for her boss.

        Game over, man.

  20. As Bartleby the Scrivener would say, “I’d prefer not to.”
    A surprising number of women from my area have been at least willing to give shooting a try.
    One former GF (we’re still friends and occasionally she’ll shoot my .22 rifles) was shocked when she found out that I was into shooting, then told me after a couple more dates that she was an excellent shot back in her summer camp days and was actually ranked in an NRA booklet that kept track of those things.
    But I doubt I’d date an outright anti-gunner.

  21. If my wife let me date I would even date an anti at least once. My “girl friend” vs “girlfriend” is off the charts pro-abortion while I am the opposite and we still get along as long we don’t talk about it. She is more of a Libertarian anyway and is quite comfortable with guns having grown up on a horse farm and is also a graduate of the charm school known as “The Farm.”

  22. I agree with Kirsten, as long as they’re not an anti then I have no problem with it. No way could I spend any quality time with someone who drinks the grape cool-aid. Interestingly enough, when I met my wife she described herself as a liberal but the only thing we disagreed on is abortion. In the 10 years we’ve been together we’ve both softened our stances on that. If I go to a gun show more than one weekend in a row she complains but I can usually get away with it if their is nothing better to do anyway. She usually stops complaining PDQ if I ask her to come with me.

  23. I’m already married to someone who isn’t into guns. It’s not a deal breaker because despite not being into them, she does fall on our side of the 2nd amendment issue and has no problem with ME being into them. They’re just not her thing.

  24. Like many here, if a woman is not into guns or ambivalent I
    might date her. If she’s part of the anti-rights crowd, forget it.

    On a side note, I’ve found that having a girl eat wild game is a
    decent indicator. If she has no illusions about where the game
    came from, there’s a pretty good chance there won’t be an issue
    with firearms.

  25. My wife had never shot a handgun or a rifle before meeting me, only an old 12GA shotgun in the swamps of LA. So she didnt have a very positive shooting experience before meeting me. It wasnt as much that she didnt like guns or shooting, just that it wasnt explained at her level in a situation she was 100% comfortable with. Now she LOVES to shoot the M&P 9 I bought for her so much that I really dont get to shoot it that much.

    But I could never date/marry someone who was vehemently against self defense or refused to accept that some humans cannot be reasoned with.

    • I am so encouraged by all these great guys who’ve introduced their wives/girlfriends to the joys of shooting. Its not every day you hear so many good stories like these. TTAG has some savvy gun ambassadors for sure!

      • Well, I’ll burst the bubble, Kirsten. I married a crazy woman or two, just like RF. Nothing else, including guns, matter when they are crazy. Now I’m smart enough to collect guns and not wives. Much happier and I won’t lose half of them to a future third ex-wife! I sincerely hope you are better at marriage than I.

        • Ah well, thanks. I’m taking my time, there are a lot of crazies out there. Its like a game of frogger! Dodge and weave, haha 😀

  26. Shooting range is an ideal second-date venue. Works especially well if she’s a liberal “guns are evil and dangerous” type.

  27. Not only is my wife into guns, I fully expect her to be able to win a DGU encounter. I deploy for over a year at a time, so I couldn’t imagine leaving a helpless damsel home alone.

  28. When I first started dating my wife, it came out early on that she didn’t know anything about guns and was actually kind of scared of them. The difference between her back then and an anti-gunner is she recognized that she was afraid because she had no knowledge or working information of them. I didn’t have to tell her that.

    So, I gradually exposed her to them. Starting out with just basic information and safety, eventually moving towards showing her a few to finally getting her to shoot one.

    Today, she’s not scared of them at all. She helps me hunt for ammunition. She still doesn’t quite care about them all that much, but she does want to get her permit to carry. I’ll call that a win in my book.

    Had she stayed scared or became anti following some exposure, we’d have been done long ago. I can deal with someone who just isn’t interested but supports the 2A. I can’t deal with someone who opposes it entirely.

    • I think this underpins much of today’s anti-gun hysteria. The average citizen is relatively ignorant about guns, and scared of them. They’re portrayed as mysterious, complicated devices which ought only to be used by trained soldiers, and beloved by criminals and uneducated hicks. Consequently, people are prone to see their very existence or presence as a threat. This is only dispelled by familiarity.

  29. I have dated several women who weren’t into guns, but weren’t anti, and I introduced most of them to shooting along the way. Some of them really took to it.

    I’ve also had relationships end because of my interest in guns. One of them gave me an ultimatum: stop carrying a gun or break up. I still carry a gun.

    Would I date someone who isn’t into guns, but who isn’t an anti? Yes.
    Would I date someone who likes/loves guns? Absolutely.
    Would I date someone who is anti-gun? No. Been there, done that. It’s not worth it.

  30. Against guns? Let her find some other guy to make miserable. Not into gun? That’s fine. In fact, it may be better than fine.

    Once upon a time when I was a fisherman, I fished and mapped one lake for about a month, locating all the fish-holing structures. Every time I was on the lake, I saw the same guy fishing with his wife. Mine was at home because she had zero interest in fishing. The other fisherman and I would always get together to compare notes.

    One day I asked him, “How do you get your wife to come along with you?”

    He answered, “How do you get your wife to stay home?”

  31. as long as she isnt anti gun I wouldn’t have a problem with it. It isn’t reasonable to expect a mate to share all your interests, and sometimes it’s good to do things apart.

  32. Oddly enough, when we first got married my wife was probably more “into” guns than I was, although I owned a few and have always believed in the right to own them. Her father moonlighted as an armed security guard, from an early age she saw guns as protective and as a way to put food on the table. In the 15 years of our marriage, we’ve both moved more pro gun, although it’s really only been in the last few that we’ve been in a financial situation that would allow for purchasing more than we started with.

    As for dating someone who isn’t into guns, dear goodness no. My wife would kill her and the poor sap couldn’t even fight back.

  33. I’m currently daring an anti now. She’s charming in all other regards. On the first date I politely (with a wink and smile) disarmed her anti-gun stance. After that things have been smooth sailing.

  34. My long time GF isn’t into them, but isn’t anti. She lives in Rahm’s Peoples’ Paradise on the Lake, and is coming around on the folly of their gun laws. She’s after me to take her to the range and wants to learn more about CCW.

  35. First date with the woman who would become my wife, I told her of my intent to own guns, it was a feeler question, she didn’t seem appalled or scared and so we went on more dates…

  36. To me it would be fine if they weren’t into guns, but they would have to understand that if they are living with me they will need to become proficient.

    My current girlfriend is proficient but nowhere near as into guns as me. When I talk about potential acquisitions she is only interested in shotguns, she is much more practical about it than me. That’s what she grew up shooting, where I grew up with a Makarov and a Mini-14.

    It doesn’t have to be their hobby, but basic knowledge of how firearms work is a necessary life skill. That is, unless you live in a bubble full of hand sanitizer that is covered in Obama-Biden stickers and towed by Unicorns.

    • I grew up with former conscript airman.

      There was NO volition concerning these matters of high speed material mass.

      My family in the pre Berlin wall fall weren’t offered special opportunities, the reality was as cold as water on a wintered bone.

      African Nations have only just discovered the intoxicating power of steel during the 19th century.

      My race has been surrounded by all sorts of militaria designed to keep unwanted guests migrating in the opposite direction. These articles of war are not liberties or freedom fetish, but life itself.

  37. When I started dating my wife I owned two guns had my ccw and she knew about them, she wasn’t for guns but she wasn’t anti other people’s 2nd amend right. Then when we started living together and I expanded the collection and ccw more often it became an issue for her. She wasn’t happy about living in a house with them (and probably me spending money to expand the collection). Finally one day at the beach probably close to before or after we got engaged the subject had come up for the millionth time and I told her if she didn’t like it, she was free to move out and end things, because my passion for the sport was NOT going to change. The argument never came up again, I did buy a big safe to be responsible. She still likes to try and peak inside the safe to make sure I’m not spending to much money on the hobby, but today she supports my shooting hobby and doesn’t complain at all. She even has a sig mosquito that she keeps asking me duracoat pink. The last time when one of her friends stayed with us from out of town who had never been shooting but saw the safe they said they would like to try. Gave them the speech on the basic rules of gun safety, we all including my wife when to the range and spent half they day having fun.

  38. No way. Early on the wife tried to have me make a choice between her and my guns…I told her its been fun, have a nice life! That wasn’t what she expected. We’ve been together 15 years now and she has finally come around and even purchased her first gun last year.

  39. If she’s not into them but doesn’t mind that you are, that’s not a deal killer at all. Would it be preferred if she was into them, sure, but unless she’s a cheerleader for MAIG or OFA, that’s no dealbreaker.

  40. Not into guns is not a big deal.

    Opposed to guns and gun rights? That’s a deal killer.

    A man or woman’s position on the fundamental right of self-defense speaks volumes for the kind of person they are.

    John

  41. I could date her if she was just not interested in guns, but was still ok with them. I spend a lot of time shooting with my friends at get togethers, so she’d be sitting by herself since other significant others may join from time to time.
    If she was anti gun, no way. It just wouldn’t work.

  42. Not gun-educated? Maybe. Anti-gun? Hell no. Nor a fundamenalist religious girl either.

    I like guns, swearing, beer and premarital sex way too much.

  43. Anti-gun is a deal breaker.

    If she doesn’t care, that’s fine. We all have our own passions.

    I will be understanding as long as there isn’t a double standard and she tries to make me watch Glee, Magic Mike, Twilight, Brokeback Mountain, or something else equally awful.

    She’s marriage material if I never hear “you bought ANOTHER gun?” or “you’re having ANOTHER beer?”

  44. Well the wife doesn’t really like the guns but she is coming around. It’s all in how you approach the issue. She likes scrap booking and punches holes in paper with her hobby. I enjoy punching holes in paper but at greater distances…

  45. I do.

    She’s pro 2A, but prefers a knife to a gun.

    We are, after all, different and complimentary people. F’rinstance, she’s also not into girls.

  46. Wife had never shot a gun. Came from a family that wasn’t anti, just wasn’t into it. Now she has her CHL and a Bersa Thunder.

    She is an animal lover, so we don’t discuss any hunting I have done and she rescues Greyhounds and saves the puppies.

    She understands why I started stocking up on ammo last fall before the election and has no issue with it, as long as I make certain of two things:

    1-Stocking up included range and defense rounds for her Bersa…
    2-Matching 9×19 Glocks on the nightstands.

    I love that woman!!!

  47. Not into guns? Maybe, depending on her other values.

    Date or marry an anti? No way, I won’t even hire people at my shop that are anti-gun because I cc whenever possible and can’t afford the B.S. associated with irrational fears.

  48. My soon to be wife is a pretty liberal woman and WAS anti gun when we met. Now she is planning on getting me a shotgun and wants her ccw and a 38 special because she digs revolvers. And I carry my p95 everywhere and she feels safer with me doing so. Conversion successful.
    P.s. she thinks Obama is a dumbass.

  49. It’s not a dealbreaker, as long as she’s not an anti-moron, like my last ex-baby momma. My girl now isn’t a gun-tard like me, but she knows how to shoot, likes Glocks, and isn’t afraid to use one.

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