Question of the Day: What’s the Ideal Pickup Truck – Machine Gun Combo?

Whether you’re in Mogadishu or Aleppo it’s catch-as-catch-can in rebel fighting land. You find a heavy machine gun, secure some ammo, weld the thing onto a pickup truck and it’s Allahu Akbar all day long. Assuming you had access to some primo hardware, both gun and truck, what combo would you choose? Oh, and one more thing. Wolverines!

comments

  1. avatar Sam C says:

    Get a fifty trucks, mount a PK on each, and you have a cavalry regiment fit to take on any African warlord’s militia.

    1. avatar Daniel Silverman says:

      For the truck: Ford F-150 3 in lift, supercharged diesel not gas engine.
      If the SHTF you can filter fry oil from the local fast food joint to make it run.
      Steel tube bumpers front and rear, just in case you need to move one of those brain dead Sunday drivers out of the way, or run over some brain eating zombies.
      The size of the F-150 is not to huge, but not tiny either. It has heft and weight in case you run across an IED. Much like the Toyota Tundra which would be a choice if I was outside the US they are powerful and can put up with a beating. Both with diesels can have some armor added to them to help against bullets and other things.
      Gun: M2HB-QCB made by browning and in service in one form or another since 1933. It is solid and works, and chances are if you run into issues, your friends or possibly foes might have parts you can use to repair it.

      In both cases I asked myself what, in the US, has been made forever and a day. What is most popular, and what is maintainable. Sure the Lamborghini SUV is sweet, but really? Parts are a pain..

      1. avatar Az9mm says:

        Actually, I would choose the new F350 Super duty, preferably the dually. It could serve a dual purpose, as being a protective gun truck, and hauling gear, and pulling trailers. In addition, it comes in a diesel, And I agree with the M2, but and M240 could carry more ammo, although lacking some stopping power aginst armored targets

    2. avatar Roscoe says:

      @ Robert Farago:
      You ended the paragraph with “Wolverines!” and a hot babe in tight combat shorts and a turban manning a .50 cal immediately came to mind.

      You’ve got me conditioned, RF.

    3. avatar Adub says:

      What’s funny is that they are fighting with crap trucks and Jerry-rigged weapons amongst rubble, under a giant overpass near apartment/office buildings, and they have Internet access to post videos.

      I bet they use gunbroker and gunbot to rearm and resupply.

  2. avatar Jesus says:

    I’d say an M3 halftrack with a Quad 50…

    …But I’d have to go with an H1 with a 50 on the back.

    Or more than one 50.

    1. avatar pwrserge says:

      M2? Really go big or go home. H1 with either a MK19 or a M134 on the back. Set you back a home loan just in ammo. But totally worth it.

      1. avatar That Guy says:

        I don’t think you’re going big enough: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/GAU8

        EDIT: On the halftrack that is

        1. avatar pwrserge says:

          Sir Newton plays no favorites. If the recoil of the GAU is enough to noticeably slow down an A-10, it’s going to flip your truck.

        2. avatar SpeleoFool says:

          Half track? I don’t think you’re going big enough. Does a CAT 797F count as a pickup? Slap your GAU8 on a motorized swivel mount on the front, drop a Bofors 40mm in the bed for AA and just run over anything that’s too small to shoot.

  3. avatar CB Demented says:

    Gotta go with the armored GMC SUV with a minigun…hands down http://youtu.be/YAZ2qvhJGgU

    Not quite a pickup, but so what…cool factor is much higher 🙂

    1. avatar Scott says:

      Holy Shite!!!!

    2. avatar Accur81 says:

      The CA – legal version is a super soaker shot out of the sunroof of a Prius.

      1. avatar pwrserge says:

        Don’t be silly. The king’s loyal bodyguards don’t need to worry about the laws that keep the peasants in line.

      2. avatar Carry.45 says:

        You went too far. California version is a Prius with Uzis. Nothing better than a Prius for a drive by.

        1. avatar Heffe says:

          Firing environmentally safe rounds.

  4. avatar William says:

    You choose the MG; it all starts with a Toyota pickup, for longevity and parts availability worldwide.

    1. avatar Pulatso says:

      If Top Gear has taught me anything, its taught me that you have to really try if you want to kill a Hilux, and even then you fail.

      1. avatar Cameron says:

        Agreed. Hilux and m240b

    2. avatar Sixpack70 says:

      This is the hot ticket here.

    3. avatar Dyspeptic Gunsmith says:

      Absolutely. HiLux.

      The 22R engine is easy to work on, parts are ubiquitous, and the Toyota mini-trucks are rugged as a rock.

  5. avatar PNG says:

    M240; model kit maker Meng thought it was a great combo and made a 1/35 Hilux rocking one. I’m building one into a zombie truck.

    http://www.meng-model.com/index2_new.php?id=179

    1. avatar BStacks says:

      Okies get more Texan than Texans every year

      1. avatar PNG says:

        I’m in one of the neighboring states; sounds about right.

  6. avatar Chris says:

    I think I’d have to go with the GMC Denali w/concealed minigun (ala Secret Service).
    But, that’s just me.

  7. avatar StuckInCT says:

    Mercedes Unimog with a minigun…..no brainer.

  8. avatar crm114 says:

    Hilux and a PK is probably the best outside of North America, parts availability and all. Here in the USA I’d say K1500 and an M2. An F-150 would also be a solid choice.

  9. avatar John says:

    Forget the truck. I want a jeep with sand tires, like Rat Patrol.

  10. avatar jsallison says:

    Yep, the Toyota hoopty, classic hauler of camels, sheep, goats and their herders throughout the middle east. And nuthin says mine’s biggern yourn than a zpu-2, a brace of 14.5mm auto-goodness. Gonna need another hoopty to haul the ammo.

  11. avatar Buell301 says:

    SVT Raptor + anything

  12. avatar chuck says:

    Ford raptor with an m61 vulcan

    1. avatar Accur81 says:

      Very badass until you run out of gas.

    2. avatar Dr_elusive says:

      This..

  13. avatar Gtfoxy says:

    Quad-cab F650 244″ wheelbase. 4 mg240s off the sides with a 60mm flack-cannon in the bed.

  14. avatar Dracon1201 says:

    1970 Landrover, the kind with few electronics, and the back roof cut off, and a dual full auto 20mm anti air cannon modified to take out ground units.

  15. avatar LongBeach says:

    Suzuki Samurai with Red Jacket’s twin watercooled M16 rig.

    1. avatar Robb says:

      You won the Internet with this.

  16. avatar Mobile Infantry says:

    ’72 Chevy El Camino with an M240. Kick start my Heart by Mötley Crew and don’t stop me now by Queen on a constant loop.

    1. avatar Accur81 says:

      That wouldn’t be scary at all if’n you didn’t add “Another One Bites the Dust.”

    2. avatar C says:

      As if you could do it with anything else!

      1. avatar Mobile Infantry says:

        Almost makes me want to grow a mullet.

  17. avatar Ryan Finn says:

    Toyota Hilux with a Czech UK Vz.59. Indestructible truck with a lightweight, belt fed weapon that still shoots a nice powerful round that’s easily found.

    1. avatar Swarf says:

      Have you seen the Top Gear episode where they TRY to destroy a Hi-Lux… and fail?

      Tough truck, indeed.

      1. avatar Swarf says:

        Yeah, you have. And looking up thread it appears so has every one else.

        Now I will do the dance of my people.

        Fluurdeguurrrdebligph!

  18. avatar TTACer says:

    GMC 2500 with the diesel, and anything you want. For that size I am thinking .50 and a recoiless rifle for good measure.

    1. avatar BStacks says:

      win

    2. avatar jsallison says:

      Ah, a brace of zpu-2’s in/on the back of a Toyota hoopty, smells like win 😉

    3. avatar jwm says:

      They got enough ammo crates around the base of that mount to sort of off set the top heavy aspects of it. But they better fire straight behind. Off to either side and they might roll it from recoil.

  19. avatar Wasder says:

    A classic Toyota Hilux / DShK combo is hard to beat.

  20. avatar J in OR says:

    Ford SVT Raptor with a 40mm Bofors. Badass!

  21. avatar Mr. Lighter says:

    A Chevy Silverado with an M60.

  22. avatar mike2588 says:

    I was always fond of the Ford F-150’s with bag ass AA guns mounted on the back that the Iraqi Police had.

  23. avatar DJStuCrew says:

    I’d have to go with a Nissan Titan with uparmored window glass, a roof-mounted mini-gun facing forward on a Q switch, with another facing rearward, also on a Q switch (hey, the passenger’s gotta have something to do, right?), and as long as I’m driving through fantasyland, I might as well have side-mounted grenade launchers and… what the hell… two side-mounted Sidewinder missiles with advanced AI laser guidance. Yea though I drive through the valley of death… 🙂

  24. avatar Shenandoah says:

    Dodge Powerwagon with M240

  25. Lets be realistic here. If we’re going to have a Technical it will be in a third world country, so a Toyota Hilux would be the first choice in terms of a pickup truck as they are simply EVERYWHERE.

    Machine gun would be a choice between the DshK, PKM and the RPD for wide availability of everything for them at the Khyber Pass.

    1. avatar janitor says:

      everywhere cept here in the states. i have yet to see a hilux in VA

  26. avatar Shane says:

    Was Robert F hitting the cronic when he wrote that headline? Either way, I lol’d.

  27. avatar Will P says:

    I would like a Browning M2 .50 BMG in the back of a Ford Excusion 7.3L 4×4. Oh I’m drooling a little bit thinking about it. lol

  28. avatar Chris says:

    Toyota Hilux/ Tacoma with M134a/ Gau 17 or M2 “Ma Duece”.

  29. avatar Jwells says:

    Electric golfcart with silenced uzi’s. They’ll never hear me coming.

    1. avatar EagleScout87 says:

      lol +1

    2. avatar J in OR says:

      Literally made me laugh out loud! Got some funny looks here at the office.

    3. avatar jsallison says:

      Can you get suppressed uzi’s in .300 blackout?

  30. avatar Jeh says:

    Chevy Raptor with a minigun or KAC Stoner

    1. avatar Carry.45 says:

      Ford raptor maybe. Come on

  31. avatar Taylor Tx says:

    “weld the thing onto a pickup truck and it’s Allahu Akbar all day long”

    MANY lolz at this

  32. avatar David says:

    It’s a bit of a cheat but . . .

    Something like this:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bQ-OzUGzbDM

    +

    Something like this (@1:38):

  33. avatar MMK says:

    I’d take one of these

    http://www.arctictrucks.com/Pages/1315

    And stick a 50 Cal on it.

  34. avatar Carry.45 says:

    I’d say Tacoma or Tundra and an rpk for the Taco and
    A 50 cal for the Tundra.

  35. avatar Nomad says:

    El Camino + DShK
    (yes, I do realize the absurdity of putting such a large firearm on such a small vehicle)

  36. avatar In Memphis says:

    Toyata Tacoma and bending the rules a little a Mark 19 grenade launcher

  37. avatar KA-BAR-A-RANG says:

    If money were no option and needed a smash n grab Ford Raptor with a supercharger and a GAU-19 mounted up top!

  38. avatar jwm says:

    A deuce and a half with sandbags and armor plate. M2 brownings at front and wing positions. M79. Stacks of laws rockets. Or RPG’s if you can secure a supply. People batshit crazy enough to man it. Good times will be had.

    1. avatar Shenandoah says:

      Hey, save room for the keg…

      1. avatar jwm says:

        We set the keg in the FNG’s lap. That way the bullets and shrapnel have to come thru him to get the beer.

      2. avatar JW says:

        Just One?

        1. avatar jwm says:

          I guess we could duct tape 2 FNG’s to each keg for extra protection…….

    2. avatar JW says:

      Agreed. Anything without transistors or computer controlled fuel injection would be a great asset against EMP. (the only cool thing about the new Red Dawn..). Plus, those old deuces would burn anything! Diesel, kerosene, vege oil, gasoline, motor oil… Whatever

  39. avatar JaxRog says:

    Think outside the box: Ural sidecar rig, with any of the choices shown in the factory demo video (machine-gun, grenade-launcher, anti-tank).
    Relatively easy on gas, available in camo, up to 3 riders with gear.
    Easy to field-repair.
    Plus when not used as a gun platform, you can use it as a grocery-getter and give nieces/nephews rides.

  40. avatar Eric says:

    There are a lot of good choices for guns, but as for the truck I’d take a Toyota Hilux if it was available here in the states.

    1. avatar Chris says:

      It is, they call it a Tacoma. I love mine. Had it for 10 years and done way more stupid things than a person should in a vehicle with a high roll over risk. It still runs beautifully.

      1. avatar janitor says:

        all the hilux ive seen were diesel. havent seen a diesel tacoma

      2. avatar C says:

        a hilux is an overbuilt (or built exactly the right amount, depending on how you look at it) tacoma.

    2. avatar jwm says:

      The official vehicle of the Taliban. Every time you see a rebel group in a remote and infrastructure free location it’s a near sure bet they’ll be operating Toyotas of one make or another.

  41. avatar Proverbs says:

    Hands-down winner in real life, always: Toyota Hilux/Tacoma.

    This former reporter has boxes full of newspaper clippings from the 1980s forward. Before my friend/colleague Charles Thorton was gunned down in Afghanistan in 1985, (by either Afghani regulars, rebels or Soviet troops) he shared many stories that would curdle your blood. One recurring theme is how often, and how widely used the Toyota trucks are in the military. From the ME to all throughout Africa, it was far and away the truck/weapon of choice.

    “Chad’s Toyotas Rout Libyan Tanks” is one of my favorite headlines from the era. Ghaddaffi got his butt kicked by .50s, 30mm cannons and Milan missles mounted in the beds of the little trucks.

    I’ll take that one.

  42. avatar FrenchMonkey says:

    I’ll take an up-armored HiLux

    http://www.alpineco.com/armored/Toyota/hilux.php

    And slap an M242 Bushmaster on the back 😀

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M242_Bushmaster

    It’s technically a machine gun…….. hahaha

  43. avatar Debo says:

    Vehicle and MG combo?

    What people want:
    >.50 cal or M134 mounted on some behemoth can go anywhere. Would also be lightly armored from scavenged parts.

    What people will actually use in a SHTF/civil war scenario:
    >any 4×4 with a full-auto modified AR or AK and drum mags everywhere. Could also modify fixed guns to the side and front of the vehicle that could be remotely operated from the cab.

  44. avatar Kyle says:

    Tacoma Prerunner M240B.

  45. avatar BDub says:

    Machine gun mounted to truck are NOT worth a damn as fighting vehicles. Their primary and best use is as patrol missions and check-point/guard duty, where over-watch is the order of the day. This is double the case in urban settings.

    Fighting from them is a last resort. And the best way to do that is drive as fast as you can to the nearest concrete building and taking you and your machine-gun inside.

    1. avatar Southern Cross says:

      While they lack protection, they make up for it in speed, range, and manouverability. Add a M2 or a 14.5mm, and you will have something that can do a shoot and scoot, appearing and disappearing almost at will.

      And don’t forget a RPG-7 and a box of reloads for extra hitting power.

      My vote is for the Toyota Hilux/Tacoma. Thoroughly unbreakable. Able to go almost anywhere. Very reliable with good parts availability. Turbo-diesel engine with factory optional extra fuel tanks, and you can rove at will where the enemy will least expect you.

  46. avatar Troy says:

    SRT 10 with a M134 minigun

    1. avatar Crashbbear says:

      epic win ftw

  47. avatar Bob Damon says:

    A Subaru Brat with 2 Swedish bikini models in the jump seats blazing away with
    Matching full auto Atchisson Assault Shotguns!

  48. avatar DBPolice says:

    If I was too poor for an SVT Raptor, I would roll in a Ranger FX4, and a m240 for either truck.

  49. avatar APBTFan says:

    Flat bed Deuce and Half with a German 88.

  50. avatar Jon R. says:

    Volkswagen Rabbit Pickup with a MG 42 mounted on top, Uber alles!

  51. avatar CA.Ben says:

    Old Jeep CJ8 with the indestructible 4.0 straight 6. Remove the top and put a pintle mounted converted 7.62×51 mg43 in it. Yes, such a beast exists, I saw one on gunbroker once. Full auto fun with rock crawling capabilities!

    1. avatar CA.Ben says:

      *mg42

  52. avatar S_J says:

    Going to have to keep it traditional–fifth gen Hilux 4×4 with 2 PKM’s or single DShK on a DYI pintle mount, big mudders and mild lift, winch in the front, diesel preferred. If you wanna Americanize it, Ford Ranger (any built after 1998, it never changed all that much) w/ M2. I dunno if it would pass Top Gear’s Hilux torture test but I’ve seen those little Fords survive some insane beatings, we’ve had several in our family. Parts for them are available everywhere too.

  53. avatar Closet Gun Nut says:

    I’d go with an ice cream truck with a mini gun mounted to the serving window and the music cranked as high as it goes. 🙂

  54. avatar Chad says:

    None of the above. Not the first one would take a hit from anything explosive.

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