It can be hard keeping track of everything you need when when you’re smoking baby backs, a beef brisket and a nine pound Boston butt over ten or twelve hours. You’ll need a knife, spatula or flipper, BBQ fork, tongs, a meat thermometer, a spray bottle and – if you go full heathen – a brush for barbecue sauce. And that’s just the beginning. You’ll also need to have a good knife at hand (we’d suggest a six-inch Benchmade Prestigedges), fire-making capability, your phone (for tunes, texting or the ballgame) and maybe a bottle opener. Not to worry, though. The socially awkward types at thinkgeek.com have dug up the perfect solution for Pop . . .
It’s the Tactical BBQ Apron with full MOLLE capability (both front and rear) that will save you countless trips back inside the house for those items you’re always forgetting. And just to let everyone know who you are and what you hold dear, there are two — count ’em, two! — Velcro fields on which to affix your favorite morale patch. Also note the thoughtful design that leaves your four o’clock position open for easy home carry.
Since dehydration is every pitmaster’s worst enemy, we’d suggest utilizing some of that backside MOLLE acreage by adding an appropriate hydration pack, though we can’t vouch for exactly what will happen when you try to dispense a Schlafly Bourbon Barrel Aged Imperial Stout through that tube. Please be sure to let us know, though, if you give it a shot. [h/t Dan M.]