William Lloyd courtesy gainsville.com

You know what they say, necessity is the mother of invention. And no one is going to accuse William Lloyd of a dearth of creativity any time soon. Will was apparently feeling a little peckish yesterday and decided some squirrel would really hit the spot. Unfortunately, he had a mismatch of tools for the job. Being a convicted felon, he didn’t own a firearm. What he did have, though, was a BB gun. Unfortunately, unless you’re really close, all a BB gun is likely to do to a surrying sciuridae is chase him away. Or piss him off. Whatever, Lloyd rummaged through his nightstand drawer, then turned over the couch cushions and found…a fotay caliber cartridge. And that’s the point where innovation met inspiration . . .

No, he didn’t try to cram that big boy bullet into his Pumpmaster 760. What, do you think he’s stoopid or something? Instead, he concocted an ingenious plan using a third item — every man’s most faithful friend (right behind his Labrador) — a roll of duct tape.

Yep. Mrs. Lloyd’s boy Will taped the round to the end of his BB gun. His Rube Goldbergian plan was to fire the gun, using the speedy ball bearing to strike the cartridge’s primer, and send 165 grains of bushy-tailed whoopass toward his desired protein source of the day. Unfortunately, the whole thing worked perfectly.

gainesville.com relates the predictable results:

Lloyd fired the BB gun, causing the BB to strike the cartridge’s primer. The cartridge discharged and fragmented, striking Lloyd in the upper arm and lower leg.

He was taken to the hospital with non-life-threatening injuries.

Will apparently didn’t know that there’s a reason a bullet is designed to be fired in a chamber that will contain the explosive force of its powder. We’re also guessing he’d never tried to find — let alone cook — what’s left of a small rodent that had been hit by a projectile of a caliber starting with a 4.

In the aftermath, there’s both good news and bad news where William’s concerned. On the positive side, he made a quick recovery and, according to his neighbors, was back at work the next day. Unfortunately, he’s also been charged with discharging a firearm in public and possession of ammunition by a convicted felon. As far as we’re concerned, we can’t wait to see if he finds a way to creatively use the IGOTD trophy he’ll be getting to bring home some unsuspecting future entree. We just know he’s got it in him.    [h/t Avery S.]

32 Responses to Irresponsible Gun Owner of the Day: William Lloyd

    • True, but he did do society a service: that is quite possibly the funniest self-inflicted gun mishap I’ve heard of in at least a year. I’d say he’s in the running for a Darwin Award honorable mention, at the very least.

      • Yeah, I think you’re right… Darwin Award, honorable mention trophy incoming. And if they could, the squirrel would present it.

        • Frankly, if the trophy itself doesn’t incorporate a taxidermied squirrel of some sort I will be disappointed.

    • This moron should be profiled on “Sons of Guns”

      Considering his felon background, he’s at least staying within character.

      It’s good to be consistent.

  1. Hmmm, the next time I tape a .40 cal to the front of an air gun I’ll make sure that I’m wearing a full suit of armor. I’m just a safety nazi that way.

    • Pictures or it didn’t happen.

      Related: the front face of the suppressor on my Gamo Whisper looks like it has plenty of room for a spring clip to hold a pistol round…

  2. Holy crap! That actually worked. Sort of. Man, how much time do you have on your hands and how bad do you want a squirrel to come up with that? That boys family tree don’t branch, does it?

  3. Just try to keep it where you’re smarter than what you’re hunting or the ending has more ways of going badly.

  4. Did you ever notice that not many convicted felons are members of Mensa? In fact, most convicted felons are downright stupid.

    Is that correlation or causation?

  5. He could have sat outside really quite and being such an f’n nut, a squirrel (or squirrels) would have been attracted to him sooner or later.

    A true McGiver.

  6. This bring to mind a phrase I heard once. ” Being able to disable all five safeties on your new lawnmower to make it easier to use may be clever, but as you search for lost toes in the grass, you may realize the definition of the word wisdom” This boy at least gets a few “clever” points.

  7. OK. Honestly. Seriously, how many of you, ok, us. Fine. Just me. Are going to try and improve on this ill fated attempt…..

  8. Couldn’t he have taped a piece of pipe(of correct diameter) over the cartridge to work as a chamber. Or get a crossbow.

  9. You haven’t heard of the Johanessburg Shotgun. You attach a length of pipe to the end of an air rifle that you unscrew to insert a 12-gauge shotgun cartridge. You put a pellet in the air gun and fire it. The pellet strikes the shotgun cartridge’s primer to fire the shot shell. I’ll let someone else try it first!

  10. I’m sorry, but who buys bb guns anymore? Give me a .22 Cal pellet rifle and I’ll fill your plate with all the squirrel you can eat. Bb’s are only good for cans and windows.

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