Hello MS Feinstein. I’ve been waiting to share an elevator with you.
Vice President Joe Doubtfire
Hahahaha, yes! This!
Say your prayers, Milk!
My ex-wife found out about the bowling team. Be advised.
“Pa, I SAID it’s time to quit drinkin’ and come home. My mother’s just come to stay for the winter.”
If I hold you at gunpoint, will you?
In case you wanted to know what happened to Barney Fife’s piece when he is off duty.
You want me to give you EVERYTHING I have in my purse??? Well here you go biotch!!!
WHOA!! HEY!! You don’t need that. I’m pretty sure you can just kick my ass.
Make your own damn sandwich.
Hold still Difi, there’s a fly on your nose…
I’ll take that in small unmarked bills, thank you.
On a seamstress’ salary of just $16 a week, Gladys could never have afforded a pistol…
I got yer permit right here
Having left her shotgun at home, and ignoring the suggestions to vomit and pee on herself, Mrs Cleaver hit upon a better way to ward off a violent rapist.
“You were saying?”
Aunt Bee lived a double life no one suspected.
The untold story of “Don’t Squeeze the Charmin”, Chapter 1. Mrs. Whipple.
J. Edgar Hoover in disguise circa 1940.
you beat me to it! LOL
Give me a moment to get out my rape whistle.
Ma’am, I was just kidding…you’re not even my type….
Isotoner gloves – because powder burns are so unladylike.
I’ll teach you to make fun of my hat!
Angela Merkel arrives in Cyprus ready to discus the new banking tax.
As her rapier wit grew dull with age, Dorothy Parker would often resort to extreme tactics to get the last word in an argument during her twilight years.
Trannies: packing heat since 1934.
And that’s not all.
You’ll find that I’m quiet handy with an ‘iron.’
1) No, wait – it’s not a gun in my pocket . . . I’m just glad to see you!
2) Hillary, I swear, this isn’t what it looks like . . .
3) No failure to communicate here, I understand perfectly.
4) Hat, $50; gloves, $40; the look on her cheating husband’s face . . . priceless.
5) Hello, Annie. I see you’ve already got your gun.
Protesting for women’s suffrage? Ain’t nobody got time for that.
That’s not Feinstein…it’s her grand daughter.
Mr Pearse Morgan! We always seem to have trouble getting you British to go back home. But following precedent, we’ll do it the way they did it back in ’76.
RE: If She’s a Cypriot
What do you MEAN by a 10% tax on my savings account?
What do you MEAN there’s a 10% tax on my savings account?
“What do you mean you are out of .22LR, Midol and Tampons?”
I didn’t choose the bingo life, bingo life chose me! Straight outta Peaceful Acres! Hazel, tell this fool he best step out my face… We late for Denny’s and I need to eat so I can take my pill!
Julia Child finds out the price of Le Crueset cookware. Ceylon, 1944.
It’s been so hard for J. Edgar to find a purse that will fit a .38. Now all he needs is a garter for his .22.
That was very nice Mister Hoffa, but I’m afraid there’s going to be an unhappy ending.
Guess what I have in my purse? No, it’s not a tampon…
“So Piers likes to debate?”
Shemp, meet my boy, Curly!
Alice resolved to never again be the runner up in the Easter parade.
Honey, I know Washington is full of liberal democrates, but I promise if I see one I will give them your message.
This is the second biggest thing I’m hiding that you don’t see.
Look at the new compact I got…..
101% rape-proof .
I found this in the oven. Is it yours?
I suggest this method of carry over the vagina holster.
I hate blind dates. This time If the guy turns and runs, he wont get away.
I’ll give you my gun, but only if you promise to take away Dianne Feinstein’s gun.
Feinstein’s mom considers aborting for the sake of humanity.
That’s taken care of, now to get my hair done.
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