We’ve all been there, haven’t we? Embroiled in a heated disagreement with our spouse, the thought fleetingly enters your mind: Why the hell am I married to this person? Alfredo Malespini spends his days guarding prisoners at the McKean Federal Correctional Institution in Pennsylvania, so he knows from uncomfortable living conditions. Maybe he doesn’t have to worry about the Mrs. shivving him as they pass each other in the hallway, but that doesn’t mean everything’s butterflies and rainbows. Unfortunately, it all got to be more than a man can bear recently and Alfredo decided he wanted to remove any reminder that he’d promised to hang with her for better or worse, richer or poorer, ’til death do them part . . .
CBS Pittsburgh has the gory details:
A criminal complaint said Bradford (PA) police were called just before 9 p.m. March 2 and were met by Alfredo Malespini III, 31, who told officers he was “trying to get rid of his wedding ring” and decided to “shoot it off.”
Guess he was fresh out of Ivory soap. Or maybe he figured the gunshot would drive the point home more forcefully for the little lady. Only one problem.
The gunshot badly mangled Malespini’s finger, but didn’t remove the ring, police said.
D’oh! Here’s a shocker:
On the day of the shooting, Malespini “had been drinking quite heavily throughout the day and he and his wife had been arguing throughout the day about an affair he had had several months ago,” Caskey said.
So maybe the spat wasn’t all her fault. Be that as it may, Lt. Malespini is now looking at charges of reckless endangerment, firing a gun within city limits and disorderly conduct. Will this affect his employment at the Federal Correctional Institution? Judging by the caliber (no pun intended) of most people who work for the federal government, he’s probably just fine.
In any case, he’ll be getting a little package from us soon to commemorate the event — as if looking at his left hand for the rest of his life weren’t enough. No, it won’t be a pair of nine-fingered gloves, but his wife (or girlfriend, or whomever) will know just where to put it if she catches him cheating again.