Quote of the Day: Explosively Hyperbolic Edition

courtesy punny.org

“The literature suggests that having a gun in your home to protect your family is like bringing a time bomb into your house. Instead of protecting you, it’s more likely to blow up.” - Dr. Mark Rosenberg in To Reduce Suicide Rates, New Focus Turns to Guns [via nytimes.com]

 

48 Responses to Quote of the Day: Explosively Hyperbolic Edition

  1. avatarKelly in GA says:

    Who uses time bombs for home defense? I disengaged the timer on mine and replaced it with a remote detonator. That way we can repel out the second story window and then pull the trigger. Kinda works like my gun. Nothing happens until I pull the trigger.

    • avatarKelly in GA says:

      Now that I’m over my troll spell…

      Implying that a gun is like a time bomb is like saying spoons magically fill your body with empty carbs. People with spoons in the household are 99 times more likely to commit suicide by cardiac arrest than to successfully diet and lose weight.

      I guess I wasn’t done trolling after all…

  2. avatarDutchinDC says:

    Having a bathtub, any medication, razor, knife, rope, swimming pool, or car with a garage is like bringing a time bomb into your house. They are more likely to kill you then do anything useful….really??

    Focusing on what someone can use to commit suicide and ignoring the person and their problems is a great way to ensure they will kill themselves.

    Suicide rates can be lowered by getting rid of gun control proponents which are distracting us from the real problems.

    • Well, sort of. But it’s not just gun control advocates fiddling the data to get it to say what they want.

      Women attempt suicide more often than men. But they often don’t succeed because they usually use less-lethal means that offer them time to reconsider, e.g. drug overdose.

      Though men attempt suicide less often, about four in five completed suicides are men. Often, men use guns to kill themselves, and you are correct that they will generally go to significant effort to use the most lethal means available. They are also more likely to try again after a first attempt.

      This fact is often downplayed by people with an axe to grind, or funding to secure.

      • avatarMister Fleas says:

        Or an alternative explanation is women do not really want to kill themselves as much as men, and their suicide attempts are fake.

        • avatarMy Name Is Bob says:

          I wouldn’t call eating a bottle of Tylenol fake. I’d call it “hoping to be saved” or a cry for attention.

      • avatarWilliam says:

        “Completed”? I always thought of it as “successful”. I mean, the purpose of the act is supposedly to wind up dead…

        But I’m kinda upset to find out that my guns are planning to kill me. Did I not clean them often enough?

      • avatarInBox485 says:

        Go bitch at Japan about getting rid of guns to fix suicide rates…

  3. avatarThomas Paine says:

    Hey, remember the statistic : People who own guns are 99 times more likely to use a gun for suicide than people without guns.
    How about: 100% of people who really want to commit suicide will use the easiest method.

  4. avatarNickbnumbers says:

    yeah, yeah, yeah–we all know you’re fifty-eleven times more likely to have your own gun blow up your railroad, and we all know it’s been debunked a dozen times, and we all know that the only reason the number was ever high in the first place because of suicide, and we all know suicide rates are not affected by method…but what I want to know is why anyone believes it’s anyone’s business but mine if I decide to commit suicide.

    While I disagree wholeheartedly with civilian disarmament/gun control advocates, I can at least see where they’re coming from. They’re woefully uninformed and/or misguided, but I can at least make sense of their position. However, how anyone can feel its his business if I decide to punch the Big Red Button is beyond me.

    If life is so bad that the BEST option is suicide, would it not be akin to torture to prevent it?

    • avatarpsmcd says:

      Not if you’re considered property of the State. Especially not if your choice reveals their ultimate lack of control and power over you. Hence the final irony; they would prefer the State to kill you, if necessary, to save you from yourself.

      Fundamentalists can be chameleons. They are not limited to religous stripes.

    • avatarTim McNabb says:

      Suicide is a complicated issue. I think we are better off if we use extra care and thoughtfulness when talking about it, if we can.

      Taking one’s own life is usually a permanent solution to temporary problems. Most of us recognize it is a profoundly unnatural act. Though I have a very wide libertarian streak, I do not think we are doing something morally wrong to intervene with a suicidal member of our tribe.

      I also think it is immoral to hold up people in deep pain as a human shield to destroy the freedom of others.

    • avatarpeter says:

      Most people I know call suicide selfish, but want people kept alive for selfish reasons.

      They want to put off cell death, so that it seems like the person is still there even though brain death has already occurred.

      Most of these people, in my case, are firm believers in quitting while you’re having fun except for cell life. Cell life should be maintained as long as possible, regardless of brain life.

      I believe, though, that if a person is in a vegetative state from which they will not return, they should not be made to live. If someone has an incurable disease that will ultimately kill them or make their life worse than death, they have a right to suicide.

      /rant

  5. avatarTabby says:

    You think that’s bad, did you happen to catch this asshat yesterday?
    California police chief: The idea that a gun is a defensive weapon is a ‘myth’
    http://washingtonexaminer.com/article/2521563#.UR046FpwvjY.twitter

    • avatarpat says:

      Yeah, they had an article on this forum several days ago featuring this turd.
      Makes you wonder why the cops carry guns. To be……OFFENSIVE?

  6. avatarTotenglocke says:

    See, they are admitting that they believe guns possess magical powers of mind control.

  7. avatarSoccerchainsaw says:

    Literature also suggests that passing asteroids will reanimate the dead, turning them into zombies. Literature is kinda like the internet, just because someone wrote it down doesn’t mean it’s true.

    • avatarJustAJ says:

      No, passing asteroids make the machines become self-aware, ala Maximum Overdrive.

    • avatarWilliam says:

      Worrisome, isn’t it? They can eat us, but not the other way around.

      In other news, Cuba is claiming a meteorite struck there today. Are these pieces of rock political in nature?

  8. avatarRoll says:

    Too much Sons of Guns? Mabye this guy thinks everything you shoot explodes like tannerite? For a person with a “Dr.” in front of his name you’d think he’d be smarter.

  9. avatarFlubnut says:

    I saw “via nytimes.com” as the source. That told me all I needed to know.

  10. avatarAnmut says:

    We have to understand that for liberals, it’s all about projection. That is – they project their own self-absorbed, childish & unfiltered behaviors as “well if this is how I act then how could anyone else be any different.”

    For them a gun WILL kill their family members. Because they lack the ability to control their own anger they know if they possessed a gun they might use it one someone in anger. They are self loathing and full of hate for themselves – they think that if they had a gun they might shoot themselves. To a liberal these thoughts exist within everyone and that is why they believe firearms are so evil.

  11. avatarJim D says:

    Where is the armored vehicle in that pic? You know, the one injecting “burners” into the home…

  12. avatarChas says:

    Wow. Is it me, or are the gun grabbers getting dumber?

  13. avatarPaul says:

    I don’t know, guys. My S&W Bodyguard spontaneously exploded in the safe last week, destroying my cache of 7 “Zombie-killer” JHP .380 rounds, a rare “survival yo-yo” (has a compass on the side of it) and a cherished picture of Brenda Lee.

    I had no idea I was living on borrowed time. Now, I have my safe inside another safe, and I’ve thrown away the key to boot.

  14. avatarAlex Peterson says:

    Again, just like mass shootings, blame suicides on the gun and not the individual. Just wait until “they” start painting those who commit suicide by firearm as “victims”. It reminds me of the one “journalist” who wrote, shortly after Sandy Hook, that the Newtown shooter (I refuse to print his name) would “still just be an angry kid punching his pillow if he never had access to guns”. I truly envy the naive world that these people live in.

  15. avatarHowieRosen_ESQ says:

    Rosenberg, Lautenberg, Bloomberg, Feinstein, Schumer, Boxer….. I’m seeing a pattern here.

  16. avatarTexanHawk says:

    “The literature suggests that having a gun automobile in your home driveway to protect transport your family is like bringing a time bomb into your house. Instead of protecting transporting you, it’s more likely to blow up.” – Dr. Mark Rosenberg in To Reduce Suicide Rates, New Focus Turns to Guns TexanHawk in To Reduce Motor Vehicle Death Rates, New Focus Turns to Removing Motors [via census.gov]

    There were 10,800,000 motor vehicle accidents in the US in 2009 resulting in 35,900 fatalities Dr. Rosenberg. Perhaps cars are the problem… no perhaps driver inattention, poor driver training and a disregard for safety rules are truly to blame.
    http://www.census.gov/compendia/statab/2012/tables/12s1103.pdf

  17. avatartdiinva says:

    I have always wondered why the gun grabbers are so concerned about suicide by gun. I thought they are generally pro-choice so why are they against this particular personal choice? I guess that they are only cool about choice when a third party deals death. I really think they object to suicide because the individual is taking control of something reserved for the state.

  18. avatarAharon says:

    The latest scientific research concludes that having a gun in the house increases the risks for:
    obesity
    cancer
    alzheimers
    watching Cable TV
    playing board games
    drinking grape juice
    eating meat
    eating vegetables
    eating pasta
    hair loss
    telephone calls
    using soap
    wearing glasses
    and even drinking coffee

    • avatarIn Memphis says:

      “telephone calls”

      You mean if I get rid of my guns, bill collectors and telemarketors and my ex wife will stop calling me!?

    • avatarAlphaGeek says:

      No! Not drinking grape juice!
      I REFUSE to stand idly by while my kids become “juicers”!

  19. avatarIn Memphis says:

    Getting married is like a time bomb, its the number one cause of divorce. I wont be setting that timer ever again.

    • avatarAharon says:

      If we ban marriage we can eliminate divorce. If we keep marriage limited to trained and regulated government professional couples then we can reduce the national divorce epidemic to a very small number of couples. We must have common-sense marriage laws.

  20. avatarrepeater says:

    Dr. Rosenberg,

    thank you for the information, I will take it into consideration. Good day, sir.

  21. avatarGov. William J. Le Petomane says:

    Didn’t they try this in Japan already?

  22. avatarRandy Drescher says:

    This guy is funny. To reduce suicide you are supposed to leave yourself defenseless by not having a gun? Oh yeah, thats a plan. Can’t wait to see whats next, Randy

  23. avatarDaniel says:

    Quick! Take all the Secret Service’s guns! They’re gonna go off! We must protect our king!

  24. avatarDrVino says:

    A recent study shows that suicides are down. When the two age groups studied are lumped, gun suicides look to be a wash (no change).

    Can you say “agenda”?

  25. avatarDave S says:

    no, no, no you dont get it!

    Suicide is permitted by Obamacare, but you have to fill out the paper in triplicate,
    including a 500 word essay on why you dont want to continue basking in his glow.

    then your application has to be approved by a government panel with all due deliberation.

    then, you can get your script for the phenobarbital, in enough quantity to do you in. (do you know how many pills that is?)

    then you must give a certification of disposal where you have pre paid to be collected and disposed of in a carbon safe manner.

    by this time you have probably expired anyway.

    (slightly exaggerated, but based on reality)

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