Irresponsible (Flare) Gun Owner of the Day: Jorge Perez

That persistent burning sensation Jorge Perez felt in his crotch wasn’t gonorrhea. If only. Instead, officers arriving at his Lehigh Acres, FL home found him with some toasty testicles as a result of a flare gun he negligently discharged. According to, “Perez told deputies he was playing with a flare gun that was unloaded.” We guess no one’s ever explained to Jorge that the four rules apply to all guns. “After dry firing the gun a few times, Perez says he then loaded the gun and put it down. When he picked it up, Perez forgot the gun was loaded and fired it at the ground. Perez told deputies the flare round struck the floor and ricocheted into his genital area.” One in a million shot, Doc. One in a million.

21 Responses to Irresponsible (Flare) Gun Owner of the Day: Jorge Perez

  1. avatarjwm says:

    Stupid should hurt. I’m guessing it did this time. Inventive way to get rid of crabs?

    • avatarGyufygy says:

      And everyone thought the Underwear Bomber (or the more accurate name, Fire Crotch) was trying to blow up a plane.

    • avatarg says:

      Or some personal hygiene?

      I guess he won’t have to shave down there… seeing as how the fire probably burned off whatever hair happened to be there…

  2. avatarWilliam says:

    Which was it, ground or floor? Different ricochet characteristics, y’know.

  3. avatarswampsniper says:

    Sounds like a Darwin Award winner!

    • avatarRick says:

      How to take yourself out of the gene pool without killing yourself. I wonder if he used the ACME diy vasectomy kit. h/t Wile E. Coyote.

  4. avatarjp says:

    Hopefully this happened before he was able to breed.

  5. avatarPaul W says:

    Ah it’s good to hear stupidity can still be painful.

  6. avatarRick says:

    Fresh roasted nuts? Nah, way too easy. I agree with you JWM and Paul, stupid should hurt. I bet he votes too.

  7. avatarJPD says:

    How does that Elvis song go? I feel my temperature rising Higher, higher It’s burning Hunk a hunk a burning love?

  8. avatarLance says:

    Obama tomorrow: Need to ban Evil Red Rifles.

  9. avatarAlphaGeek says:

    It certainly gives new meaning to “those damn hemorrhoids are flaring up again”.

  10. avatarJesus says:

    That’s the city right next to mine.


    We don’t talk about Lee High Acres

  11. avatarRandy Drescher says:

    Unless he goes to the hospital & a gorgeous supermodel has to rub in the lotion, then I’m buyin me a flare gun, Randy

    • avatarJeff R says:

      You probably won’t get the same nurse. Besides, if your genitals are burnt you probably can’t do much with a pretty nurse.

  12. avatarGregolas says:

    And just how much alcohol was involved in this negligent dischrge, I wonder?

  13. avatarMy Name Is Bob says:

    I lol’d

  14. avatarItsLate says:

    Too Bad he Didn’t Reload…

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