Quote of the Day: Empathy Edition

“”Most sexual assaults happen between people who know one another. You’re going to be in a close, kind of private setting … are you going to be willing to shoot the person that is your friend?” Debbie Melloan, Indiana University Sexual Assault Services Center counselor [via IPM]


About Robert Farago

Robert Farago is the Publisher of The Truth About Guns (TTAG). He started the site to explore the ethics, morality, business, politics, culture, technology, practice, strategy, dangers and fun of guns.

80 Responses to Quote of the Day: Empathy Edition

  1. avatarFloyd D. Barber says:

    Are you going to be willing to rape someone who is your friend? This POS is far beyond the level of idiot.

    • avatarpsmcd says:

      “Payne and Melloan say students who know what constitutes sexual assault and the circumstances in which it usually happens are the ones who have a better chance of protecting themselves.”

      Actually, she does speak of situational awareness. If you deliberately compromise your safety, while carrying a gun, you’ve put the cart before the horse. What she’s saying is there is a behavioral incompatibility between certain choices and arming yourself.

      A young person who thoughtfully prepares for self defense would recognize the circumstances of sexual assault, avoid said circumstances, and be more selective of friends. Plus be armed and prepared to act. Thus having the best chance of protecting themselves.

      Does this not follow, Debbie?

    • avatarRepubAnon says:

      Shorter version: the most common type of rape is date rape.

      Case in point: the Steubenville Ohio football players accused of “having their way” with a 16 year-old girl who had passed out.

    • avatarMolon Labe says:

      More like Jackass.

    • avatarSanchanim says:

      So according to her they are asking for it then????

  2. avatarBLAMMO says:

    Yes. Twice. Then shoot ‘im again.

  3. avatarWill says:

    In my book, attempted rape nullifies the “Friend” status. So yeah, I think I could.

  4. avatarpk in AZ says:

    I agree with both Floyd and BLAMMO…

    Why are we even giving “face time” to this asshat?

  5. avatarmatt says:

    Well I suppose if a girl shoots her “rapist” and it turns out the accusation is false, then it might be the only time when there are actual consequences for her false accusation.

  6. avatardirk diggler says:

    Ahah! A definition of legitimate rape!

  7. avatarAnon in CT With My Ban Compliant Musket says:
  8. avatarEric S. says:

    Are you willing to stab them in the eyes/face with your keys? I mean, isn’t that what sexual assault experts tell women to do? If you can stab someone in the eye, you have the intestinal fortitude to shoot them.

  9. avatar16V says:

    So, she doesn’t have in in her to shoot her ‘friend’, but sending them up for a 5-15 stretch plus a lifetime label as a sex offender, that’s no problem.

  10. avatarjohnnosk says:

    Surprisingly enough… Most of my close friends have no problem of ending my life through any means at their disposal should I warrant death.

    Which is one reason that I don’t let my friends make me coffee!

    • avatarAvid Reader says:

      I’m not sure I would want to be invited to your parties…

      • avatarjohnnosk says:

        I’m Australian, everything here want to kill you in some way. Between having the worlds most deadly snakes, scorpions, spiders, plants and sea life and having a land that will not tolerate a fool (At current, 1/3 of the country is on fire)

        You have to be tough to survive here… And slightly crazy to live here!

  11. avatarOddux says:

    The point is a somewhat valid one if you look at it from a perspective of vigilance and mental preparedness.

    Add two words, change one and try it again: “Most sexual assaults happen between people who know one another. You’re going to be in a close, kind of private setting … are you going to be willing to shoot the person that YOU THOUGHT WAS your friend?”

    Self defense requires you predetermine your priorities and your boundaries and reinforce them in your mind before you find yourself in a position where you don’t have time to decide. A rapist is a feral animal, they are not your friend.

  12. avatarRandy Drescher says:

    Congrats, you found a way to soak up a good paycheck. I’m sure she has armed security too, cause I know I can barely keep it down, Randy

  13. avatarDavid says:

    My best friend tried to rape me. Wrote a song about it, wanna hear it here’s how it goes:

    I got rapists in low places . . .

    • avatarFloyd D. Barber says:

      How about,

      I got friends in crawl spaces
      It’s been a while since we’ve seen their faces
      They attempted a rape,
      But I escaped

  14. avatarPantera Vazquez says:

    So if a suitor turns to violence, it should be accepted-but not defended against? Only a Fartsack like her would make a statement like that, as she would obviously never find herself in an intimate situation. Furthermore, what of the victims of rapists unknown to them……..DUH didn’t think ’bout those……………………..

  15. avatarNew Chris says:

    Completely irrelevant point.

    The probability of any given person using a gun to defend themselves is irrelevant to the issue of people being allowed the choice to defend themselves.

    This is the sort of poor thinking and lack of logical rigor that drums people like me out of universities.

  16. avatarAPBTFan says:

    That puts me in a pinch. I need my right hand to shoot but if I’m getting raped in a private setting normally my right hand is busy. Sometimes the left…..sometimes. I call her Helen.

  17. avatarPowers says:

    WTF is wrong with this idiot? So violent felony crimes against you committed by a friend/acquaintance or someone you know are ok and should not be resisted. And how do the courts define a friend as opposed to just someone you know?
    Like so many others, the foot is just to large to fit in the pie hole.

  18. avatarFlubnut says:

    Well, what about the “other” rapists? You know, the percentage of those who jump completely helpless women on their way home from a late night job? No one is suggesting that having a gun for self defence is the solution to ALL possible scenarios, but in plenty of circumstances, its the BEST solution. Asshat.

  19. avatarFrank says:

    You can know someone without being close, personal friends with them.

  20. avatarTim says:

    Nothing says “no” when you really mean “no” like a hollow point to the groin.

  21. avatardodgeman says:

    Bear in mind that her kind have been watering down the definition of rape for several decades. Rape used to be a violent felony, now it could just be a girl that wakes up the next morning with regret. So according to her world view, a guy trying to get past second base without asking permission the right way could get plugged with a .38.

    Always remember that liberals operate with a different dictionary than the rest of us, on purpose.

    • avatarmatt says:

      Rape could be hiring a stripper as the Duke Lacrosse team found out. One time I had a girl tell me she was “almost raped” because a guy on the train platform opposite her was staring at her.

    • avatarKeith says:

      To the extent that this is her thinking, it would be less inscrutable.

      The larger point is reinforced, though. Utopianism is a moral, philosophical, and practical quagmire leading to an abyss.

  22. avatarHistorian says:

    Victims who know their atackers are acquaintances much more often than actual friends. There is a clear distinction outside of the kumbaya zone, lady.

  23. avatarThomasR says:

    The more I hear these so called “intellectuals” and thier so called “logic”, the more I feel I”m in some type of twilight zone episode: how can any person with with the ability to navigate the roads in a lethal weapon like a car or who can walk up a flight of successfully believe this kind of stuff.

    Gun free zones, freaking out at the idea of an armed person in the schools to protect against a mass murderer, blaming an inanimate object instead of the bad guy and now, because of thier COMPLETELY, delusional and irrational thinking, they are pushing for a gun ban that would bring the nightmare of civil war and all the atrocities that come it.

    G_d help us all. Please.

  24. avatarWiregrass says:

    University of Indiana Students,

    A rapist is not your friend. If you cannot tell the difference, you need to stop listening to this woman.

  25. avatarJack says:

    Yeah, if they were trying to stick their penis in me!

    “No, Bob! Put that away!”

    What does she expect me to put help them unzip or something?

  26. avatarIvy Mike says:

    Meanwhile, “friendly” colleges, with the help of the Wall Street banksters and Potomac mafia, financially tie down and rape students of their future.

    No wonder they don’t want armed students.

    • avatarmatt says:

      Did you read the article you linked? It said that students are defaulting own their loans, if anything the students are raping the tax payers. With colleges merely being willing accomplices.


      Pay as You Earn, by contrast, limits student-loan payments to 10% of “discretionary income” as defined by government formulas. Borrowers who make regular payments could have the remaining unpaid amounts forgiven after 20 years… Monthly payments can increase or decrease each year based on the borrower’s income and family size… Borrowers with public-service jobs may qualify for loan forgiveness after just 10 years.”

  27. avatarChristoff says:

    Is the question totally stupid? Perhaps not all women are the battle-tested, stone-cold killas that so many TTAG readers and James Yeagermeister obviously are.

  28. avatarJason says:

    Yeah, just lay back and enjoy it.

  29. avatarken says:

    I had some fun in their comment section.

  30. avatarLolinski says:

    If they are raping me they are NOT my friend anymore.

  31. avatarAharon says:

    The definition of sixual assault and rap keep getting changed or expanded. It used to be clear cut forced physical six. Now, the CDC, defines as one example of rap to include an even more drunk wife than a drunk husband have six when the wife was the one who suggested six and yet she can’t make a somber decision to have six. It becomes his fault and rap! A peniz can rap a vajina yet a vajina can’t rap a peniz. Please excuse my intentional misspellings since I’m trying to keep the filters here from swallowing up and deleting my comment.

    The statistics on rape include tallies from surveys that would conclude a rap if the woman responded that she once had six when she said she wasn’t in the mood or did not want to have six but was persuaded to have six (even though there was no physical force) by another person ie the boyfriend, lover, etc.

    University/college campuses are very safe for women. The old feminist claim that one in three later changed to one in four women will be raped there has been debunked numerous times. The actual numbers of reported or claimed rapes are something like fifteen(?) cases in an environment with several thousand women students. That number was taken from a study that tallied four Boston area schools and the number of rapes reported by students against other students.

    Males and females do sometimes have different perceptions about rape. Sometimes after a drunk casual hook-up with lots of sex the male later puts it down to a fun one-night stand. Some females will (if the male does not later call her) emotionally process it out over the next few days that she was taken advantage of ie made a ‘victim’ and raped. Mens Rights Advocates suggest that men at least call a woman after having a one-night stand or take her out for breakfast as friends to reduce the risk the woman might flip out.

    The Sixual Grievance Industry (SGI) is a large money making machine that offers employment to some very strange and nasty people.

  32. avatarAharon says:

    There is an interesting site (one of a kind) called the Society of the Wrongly Accused. It is the successor to The False Rape Society. The site’s publisher is an attorney who has documented far more than 2,000 false rape allegations which sadly are only the very tip of the spear. The site provides a great service documenting all the individual lives that have been destroyed by false rape allegations (FRAs) and how the laws and courts are biased against men. Collectively the false rape hysteria in our culture is very damaging for society as a whole.


  33. avatarMOG says:

    I guess rape by a friend would be an assault with a friendly weapon?

  34. avatarGs650g says:

    For a minute there I thought she was a republican senate candidate.

  35. avatarDerryM says:

    Given the promiscuity reported amongst today’s Teenagers and College Students…how can you tell the difference between consensual sex (driven by peer pressure, alcohol and drugs) and forcible rape?
    This woman is pouring fuel on the fire of “decriminalizing” sexual intercourse that may “not be exactly fully consensual for both parties’ “. Making excuses for less than honorable behavior in social relations seems to be part of the Progressive-Socialist mindset and is just plain wrong. Telling women that it’s wrong to defend themselves against perceived forcible rape from a “friend” is beyond wrong. If that’s the new meme, then all the women’s rights movement has accomplished is to paint women as objects of sexual gratification for any male who “imagines” the woman is a “friend”. Any man who has had a few drinks (and/or other intoxicants) and gets an erection knows “the dumbstick needs little excuse to act without a conscience”.

    I hope this person gets her vibrator fixed soon. Maybe her head will clear and she’ll see how completely wrong she is….or, she could just go get drunk with some College Boys…I think it’s still true that the only difference between a pig and a fox is about three Martinis…

  36. avatarCA_Chris says:

    Most, but not all. There are still too many rapes occurring each year in which the victim would have conceivable misgiving about shooting someone they know.

    And, knowing your attacker does not mean they are someone that you trust or have any positive opinion about.

    The point about “most rapes” is really only applicable to a few circumstances. And, you can disable a rapist without hitting anything vital to life, if you know what I mean. Then you would be doing your supposedly dearly beloved attacker a favor. Win/win.

  37. avatarChas says:

    Wow, some peoples’ lack of critical thinking skills is astounding, especially for someone who is supposedly a “counselor”.

  38. avatartnelsen says:

    News flash: People who try to sexually assault you are not, I repeat, not your friends.

  39. avatarrb says:

    If you have a friend like that, perhaps you should find better ones or, just stay home.

  40. avatarAharon says:

    I’m not sure what the latest mantra is for women while experiencing rape. Rape Crisis Advisors used to tell women to simply submit if a man tries raping them to prevent worse injuries. Last year, the mayor of Washington DC and his cronies suggested that everyone simply cooperate with their attackers if robbed or assaulted on the street. A woman sarcastically asked him how he defines cooperate with an attacker if she gets sexually assaulted.

  41. avatarMindflayer says:

    Friends don’t sexually assault you.

  42. avatarRalph says:

    Did that fat fool actually say that? What a dipsh!t.

  43. avatarJesus says:

    There is a line that someone crosses to go from “Friend” to “Target”.

  44. avatarIn Memphis says:

    WTF did I just read?

  45. avatarRKflorida says:

    BTW, Debbie is also the LGBT anti-discrimination counselor for the university. You might say that she is exclusively involved with fringe sex. Yes, this is actually a job in our modern universities. And pays very well, thank you. I’m in the twilight zone.

  46. avatarLance says:

    They complain about Yeager’s dumb rant this is even dumber.

  47. avatarLeo338 says:

    Come on! Look at that lady, this is all about wanting attention. She is desperate for some action and this is her way of telling her “friend” that she secretly wants him to rape her. I don’t see this porker getting action any other way.

  48. avatarRoss says:

    She looks like she jumped on a bicycle with the seat removed and she not quite sure what to think of it.

  49. avatarJerryboy says:

    logic would dictate(to someone capable of logic, that is) that someone who tries to rape you is not your friend.

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