It’s Two, Two, Two Tools In One! Or Is It?

Ever wonder why one of those horrifying black rifles is considered a murderous instrument of death and mayhem when wielded by the average law-abiding gun owner, but in the hands of the police or military it’s nothing more than a tool used to ensure public safety and protection? Wonder no more! Reader Arthrur P. reveals the secret:

Unbeknownst to most members of the public and the media, the US military has been issuing two separate rifles to each new recruit. One is for Assault and one for Defense. The rifles are marked on the grip with an “A” and a “D”, respectively, to make sure they are not used for the wrong purpose.

Mystery solved.

comments

  1. avatar AlphaGeek says:

    And here I thought the punchline was going to be that one of them had a Bullet Button and a magazine with a 10-round limiter installed…

  2. avatar Guy22 says:

    Sorry!!!
    Just do not belive this???
    Guy22

    1. avatar William says:

      Oh jeez. Have you been drinking fluoride again?

    2. avatar nonnamous says:

      I love OFWGs lol

  3. avatar Ensitu says:

    Dan; the joke would have had more impact if you had used an image of an Actual M-4 but then perhaps you want PPL to equate semis with FAs

    1. avatar S.CROCK says:

      or a BB gun

  4. avatar WildBillKelso says:

    Submit this to the Onion. They’ll publish it and the MSM might pick up on it and report it…Would be worth the laugh.

    1. avatar Ensitu says:

      Change the image 1st

  5. avatar Sanchanim says:

    LMAO!! now finally it all makes sense!! I can finally sleep at night knowing that nagging question has been answered… 😉

  6. avatar Lance says:

    Love the logic good post.

  7. avatar Mark says:

    How can it be a salt rifle when it’s not white?

    1. avatar Thomas Paine says:

      that’s racist.

      1. avatar corey says:

        maybe that’s why they are painted black???? since we all know the highest murder rate is black on black……..
        Sarcastic remark and pun intended…….. but not racist per-say.

        As a show of how anything can be perceived as a cause and effect. when detached from reality.

        its black-matte, for night use, and to not alert what ever your intending to kill. preferably vermin.

  8. avatar Thomas Paine says:

    I thought the ones for military and police are marked M&P?

    1. avatar Larry says:

      Oh, good one! You watch the media might just pick up on that. We should actually consider putting some disinformation out there just to mess with them. Maybe we can get them complaining about AR15 ray gun capabilities and that they should require all guns also have a stun setting.

    2. avatar JustAJ says:

      No silly – the ones labeled M&P are for Mom & Pop to use for self defense. The military and police ones have a “Front – toward enemy” label stamped on the forward sling swivel, like claymores.

  9. avatar TACKLEBERRY says:

    Ok that clears things up considerably……… well I own a defense rifle so im safe from the assault ban

  10. avatar John says:

    There is a better way to set these up especially for those dark nights on patrol when the letters would be hard to make out. For the defense rifle have large embossed flowers on the forend. For the assault rifle have the forend shaped like a rather large penis. The assault version would fire up the grabbers that claim we are compensating. Perhaps they’d be able to provide their own foam and froth for their Starbucks. The assault forend might also work better than a cucumber as a comparison aid for picking up that special milf at the Food King.

    Speaking of tools – we have a battle ahead since Obama said “The time has come for someone to put his foot down. And that foot is me.”

    The latest I’ve heard on the White House’s gun grab is that Obama told David Plouffe “Put Holder on it. He’s a sneaky little shit just like you.”

  11. avatar benjohnson says:

    Does anybody know if home-built AR-15 lowers will most likely be grandfathered in a ban? There’s a small but distinct possibility that I remember making 245.31 of them for my own use, and I stashed them in a closet. That also could have been a weird dream.

    1. avatar Larry says:

      Sounds like slingshots will be illegal.

      1. avatar Joe says:

        The .31 is a sbl (short butted lower) and so illegal under NFA (no effin authority) laws

      2. avatar corey says:

        or worse “spitball straw” ban

  12. avatar Brennan says:

    So if I paint a D on the grip of an AR-15, can we use that to justify it’s exclusion from the “Assault Weapon” ‘difi’nition?

  13. avatar TheSleeperHasAwakened@wakeup.org says:

    I LOVE the joke and think it’s very witty!

    I will gladly repeat it…and often 🙂

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