It’s Two, Two, Two Tools In One! Or Is It?

Ever wonder why one of those horrifying black rifles is considered a murderous instrument of death and mayhem when wielded by the average law-abiding gun owner, but in the hands of the police or military it’s nothing more than a tool used to ensure public safety and protection? Wonder no more! Reader Arthrur P. reveals the secret:

Unbeknownst to most members of the public and the media, the US military has been issuing two separate rifles to each new recruit. One is for Assault and one for Defense. The rifles are marked on the grip with an “A” and a “D”, respectively, to make sure they are not used for the wrong purpose.

Mystery solved.

22 Responses to It’s Two, Two, Two Tools In One! Or Is It?

  1. avatarAlphaGeek says:

    And here I thought the punchline was going to be that one of them had a Bullet Button and a magazine with a 10-round limiter installed…

  2. avatarGuy22 says:

    Sorry!!!
    Just do not belive this???
    Guy22

  3. avatarEnsitu says:

    Dan; the joke would have had more impact if you had used an image of an Actual M-4 but then perhaps you want PPL to equate semis with FAs

  4. avatarWildBillKelso says:

    Submit this to the Onion. They’ll publish it and the MSM might pick up on it and report it…Would be worth the laugh.

  5. avatarSanchanim says:

    LMAO!! now finally it all makes sense!! I can finally sleep at night knowing that nagging question has been answered… ;-)

  6. avatarLance says:

    Love the logic good post.

  7. avatarMark says:

    How can it be a salt rifle when it’s not white?

  8. avatarThomas Paine says:

    I thought the ones for military and police are marked M&P?

    • avatarLarry says:

      Oh, good one! You watch the media might just pick up on that. We should actually consider putting some disinformation out there just to mess with them. Maybe we can get them complaining about AR15 ray gun capabilities and that they should require all guns also have a stun setting.

    • avatarJustAJ says:

      No silly – the ones labeled M&P are for Mom & Pop to use for self defense. The military and police ones have a “Front – toward enemy” label stamped on the forward sling swivel, like claymores.

  9. avatarTACKLEBERRY says:

    Ok that clears things up considerably……… well I own a defense rifle so im safe from the assault ban

  10. avatarJohn says:

    There is a better way to set these up especially for those dark nights on patrol when the letters would be hard to make out. For the defense rifle have large embossed flowers on the forend. For the assault rifle have the forend shaped like a rather large penis. The assault version would fire up the grabbers that claim we are compensating. Perhaps they’d be able to provide their own foam and froth for their Starbucks. The assault forend might also work better than a cucumber as a comparison aid for picking up that special milf at the Food King.

    Speaking of tools – we have a battle ahead since Obama said “The time has come for someone to put his foot down. And that foot is me.”

    The latest I’ve heard on the White House’s gun grab is that Obama told David Plouffe “Put Holder on it. He’s a sneaky little shit just like you.”

  11. avatarbenjohnson says:

    Does anybody know if home-built AR-15 lowers will most likely be grandfathered in a ban? There’s a small but distinct possibility that I remember making 245.31 of them for my own use, and I stashed them in a closet. That also could have been a weird dream.

  12. avatarBrennan says:

    So if I paint a D on the grip of an AR-15, can we use that to justify it’s exclusion from the “Assault Weapon” ‘difi’nition?

  13. avatarTheSleeperHasAwakened@wakeup.org says:

    I LOVE the joke and think it’s very witty!

    I will gladly repeat it…and often :-)

Leave a Reply

Please use your real name instead of you company name or keyword spam.