Here at TTAG, we joke about shower carry. As for hot tubs and nude beaches and other wet places where tooling-up can have an entirely different meaning, well, whatcha gonna do when they come for you? With a snake. “A Massachusetts man is facing charges for allegedly using a pet python to beat his girlfriend as she soaked in a hot tub, injuring the woman and ultimately killing the snake,” foxnews.com reports. “Police say the couple got into an argument on Tuesday night and Paro removed the snake from a cage and ‘began beating the female repeatedly.’ Police say Paro threw the snake in the hot tub when he was done, and it died.” Moral of the story: avoid stupid people in stupid places with constricting snakes. And if you can’t, a Smith & Wesson Governor or Taurus Judge loaded with .410 ought to take care of man and beast. [h/t Aharon]

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21 Responses to It Should Have Been A DGU: Snake Attack Edition

  1. Alas, I live in California, and cannot be trusted with a revolver capable of firing .410 rounds.

    On a positive note, my Midwestern Purple Trouser Snake has survived every hot tub visit so far.

  2. It’s actually the only California gun law that I’m for. My wife wants one of those Taurus Judges and I don’t want to spend 500+ bucks on what I see as a gimmick gun. So it’s win for me.

    as for using a snake for a weapon I know that I’m setting myself up for angry flames but, in my limited experience people that keep reptiles for pets ain’t quite right.

      • LOL. But mongoose only naturally encounter cobras. I wonder how they would perform against rattlesnakes, water moccasins, and copper heads around these parts…

      • Or you could keep the great honey badger! Honey badger don’t give a sh1t! Of course, he would have to be on a leash with a qd attachment for quick release onto your foes.

        • Honey badgers, oh hell no! Those damn things are dangerous. Be like having my ex wife on a lead. Once you released her there was no way of knowing who’s throat she was going after, yours or theirs. I’d rather take on a cobra with a plastic spoon, it’s be safer.

  3. For sake of self defense I have a poisonous rattle snake, Arnie, which I frequently carry concealed in my right trouser pocket. It really works fine…Up to now the BGs didn’t like to mess up with it.

    Do I have to fear that anti gun nuts will take it away from me and infringe my constitutional rights according to the 2nd Amendment??;-)??

  4. Shower carry was a joke?

    Isn’t that the whole point of stainless steel and rubber grips? My bathroom gun wears Hogues in rubber duckie yellow.

    -D

  5. How would a local rag present this story?

    POTENTIAL HEADLINES:

    -Bathing Babe Battered by Boa-
    -Punk pelts pretty with pet-
    -Boa Belts Beauty-
    -Constrictor Clocks Cutie-
    -Boa Bozo Beats Bikini Broad-
    -Slimy Slaps Sexy-
    -Aquatic aspian assault-

    Just thinking out loud………..

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