It Should Have Been A DGU: Snake Attack Edition


Here at TTAG, we joke about shower carry. As for hot tubs and nude beaches and other wet places where tooling-up can have an entirely different meaning, well, whatcha gonna do when they come for you? With a snake. “A Massachusetts man is facing charges for allegedly using a pet python to beat his girlfriend as she soaked in a hot tub, injuring the woman and ultimately killing the snake,” reports. “Police say the couple got into an argument on Tuesday night and Paro removed the snake from a cage and ‘began beating the female repeatedly.’ Police say Paro threw the snake in the hot tub when he was done, and it died.” Moral of the story: avoid stupid people in stupid places with constricting snakes. And if you can’t, a Smith & Wesson Governor or Taurus Judge loaded with .410 ought to take care of man and beast. [h/t Aharon]


About Robert Farago

Robert Farago is the Publisher of The Truth About Guns (TTAG). He started the site to explore the ethics, morality, business, politics, culture, technology, practice, strategy, dangers and fun of guns.

21 Responses to It Should Have Been A DGU: Snake Attack Edition

  1. avatarAccur81 says:

    Alas, I live in California, and cannot be trusted with a revolver capable of firing .410 rounds.

    On a positive note, my Midwestern Purple Trouser Snake has survived every hot tub visit so far.

  2. avatarjwm says:

    It’s actually the only California gun law that I’m for. My wife wants one of those Taurus Judges and I don’t want to spend 500+ bucks on what I see as a gimmick gun. So it’s win for me.

    as for using a snake for a weapon I know that I’m setting myself up for angry flames but, in my limited experience people that keep reptiles for pets ain’t quite right.

  3. avatarGregols says:

    LOL Big time! Thanks for the laugh.

  4. avatarGreg Camp says:

    Question: How do we practice for this? I know from experience that snakes are hard to hit, even when they’re not coming at me.

    • avatarjwm says:

      Keep a mongoose in your pocket. Great for snakes and will make you the hit of the party.

      • avatarJoshinGA says:

        LOL. But mongoose only naturally encounter cobras. I wonder how they would perform against rattlesnakes, water moccasins, and copper heads around these parts…

      • avatarKelly in GA says:

        Or you could keep the great honey badger! Honey badger don’t give a sh1t! Of course, he would have to be on a leash with a qd attachment for quick release onto your foes.

        • avatarjwm says:

          Honey badgers, oh hell no! Those damn things are dangerous. Be like having my ex wife on a lead. Once you released her there was no way of knowing who’s throat she was going after, yours or theirs. I’d rather take on a cobra with a plastic spoon, it’s be safer.

  5. avatarpercynjpn says:

    avoid stupid people in stupid places with constricting snakes.

    The real lesson to be learned.

  6. avatarAharon says:

    No woman should take a bath without her pet 20″ long double-barreled 12-gauge Coach Gun.

  7. avatargringito says:

    For sake of self defense I have a poisonous rattle snake, Arnie, which I frequently carry concealed in my right trouser pocket. It really works fine…Up to now the BGs didn’t like to mess up with it.

    Do I have to fear that anti gun nuts will take it away from me and infringe my constitutional rights according to the 2nd Amendment??;-)??

  8. avatarDon says:

    Shower carry was a joke?

    Isn’t that the whole point of stainless steel and rubber grips? My bathroom gun wears Hogues in rubber duckie yellow.


  9. avatarChris Dumm says:

    Enough is enough! I’ve had it with these motherfuckin’ snakes in my motherfuckin’ tub!

  10. avatarPantera Vazquez says:

    How would a local rag present this story?


    -Bathing Babe Battered by Boa-
    -Punk pelts pretty with pet-
    -Boa Belts Beauty-
    -Constrictor Clocks Cutie-
    -Boa Bozo Beats Bikini Broad-
    -Slimy Slaps Sexy-
    -Aquatic aspian assault-

    Just thinking out loud………..

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