I have a confession to make: I have a thing for Israeli models. Wait. That’s not it. I’m not a hunter. Not yet anyway. Dan and I have taken a solemn vow to add more Bambi killing to this website. As part of that effort, TTAG’s top Jews are planning on violating the Torah to take down dangerous game. Starting with animals that don’t prey on humans and working our way up. Despite the tens of thousands of ad dollars we’re leaving on the table (at the moment) this isn’t a commercial decision. It’s a matter of life and death. Yes, even for us urban dwellers . . .
Americans have been moving from the country to the city for decades, so maybe it’s not surprising that researchers are finding a similar pattern among other North American apex predators.
That may be the stupidest lede I’ve ever read—apex predators are moving to the city in search of government housing? But there’s important info therein. Besides, the intro comes from csmonitor.com, a news org that’s about as likely to monitor the Outdoor Channel as Alona Tal is to keep an eye on the Dow Jones Industrial Average.
Where was I?
New research suggests mountain lions and bears may be following the urban pioneering of raccoons, foxes and, most notably, coyotes as they slowly encroach on major US metro areas from New Jersey to California. In the case of coyotes, they don’t even mind the density, with some coyote packs now confining themselves to territories of a third of a square mile.
A third of a square mile! That’s practically half of Rhode Island! But seriously, bad boys, bad boys, what you gonna do? What you gonna do when the coyotes come for you? Shoot them with a Ruger LCP? I said a pack of coyotes, and you’re not Governor Rick Perry.
Though [Ohio State University biologist Stan] Gehrt says the jury is still out on whether other apex predators will continue to seek closer human contact, anecdotal evidence in support of that theory continues to build. A mountain lion was recently shot near downtown Santa Monica, Calif., and a family of black bears has been observed rambling around Cedar Grove, N.J., a major suburban area.
Coyotes, meanwhile, have become commonplace in and around many cities, including Chicago, where Gehrt has followed coyote packs since 2000. Among many startling findings, Gehrt reported last month that urban coyote couples are 100 percent monogamous, even though there seems to be plenty of opportunity to choose other mates.
Oh great. So if you shoot a prowling coyote in your backyard you can spend the rest of your life feeling bad about breaking up a loving couple. Not that many two-legged males worry about that particular outcome.
Regardless, armed self-defenders in urban areas are on notice: it’s time to learn how to take down four-legged varmints. To that end, hunt! As csmonitor.com also points out, center mass never tasted so good.
Also, at the risk of inciting the usual carry gun argy-bargy, you may also want to pack something a little more, uh, forceful in the caliber department. And have a rifle handy during those year’s end backyard BBQs and forthcoming snowball fights. Just sayin’ . . .