Hell’s Bells! It’s “Rifle Shells Over Wedding Bells”

 

“I can’t stop smiling when I describe my year-long journey that will climax this month, when I hunt Cape buffalo in Africa.” Some of you are unhappy with my penchant for linking to photos of beautiful women. But I wouldn’t have crafted such a licentious lede for a citizentelegram.com story about the winner of the ‘Extreme Huntress’ competition. I’d be comma toast. Anyway, Jackie Gross has shown her dedication to the shooting sports by postponing her nuptials to harvest African game. [NB: that’s not her future husband’s name.] And that’s not the only sacrifice the future Mrs. Somethingorother has made . . .

Another challenge has been learning to use my new Blaser 375 H&H with Barnes VOR-TX bullets and Aimpoint Red Dot site. Can I say product placement?

Just kidding. A bit. Here’s the real quote:

Another challenge has been learning to use my new Blaser 375 H&H with Barnes VOR-TX bullets and Aimpoint Red Dot site. Can I say O-U-C-H!? I just did — many times! The rifle kick rocks my petite body after every shot. Really, it is quite comical to watch, me with my big ear-to-ear grin, even if it is going to hurt.”

It wouldn’t hurt me a bit, unless, perhaps, her betrothed was in attendance. Which he will be when Jackie takes down one of Africa’s “Big Five.”

“Called ‘Black Death’ or ‘widowmaker’ in Africa, this buffalo is widely regarded as a very dangerous animal, as it gores and kills over 200 people every year, according to Wikipedia. Among big game hunters, they are considered very dangerous, with wounded animals reported to ambush and attack pursuers.

“Guess what I told T.J. in case we run into trouble? That’s right: ‘I can run faster than you!’ Is that something you should say to your fiancé?”

Hey, anyone ever read The Short Happy Life of Francis Macomber?

comments

  1. avatar jwm says:

    Man, nothing but win in this story. Marry that woman TJ and never make her regret her choices in life mates.

  2. avatar Michael B. says:

    If something happens to T.J., I call dibs.

  3. avatar Levi B says:

    I respect any young lady who will shoot a .375 H&H repeatedly!

  4. avatar Aharon says:

    “my year-long journey that will climax…the rifle kick rocks my petite body…with my big ear-to-ear grin, even if it is going to hurt.”
    “postponing her nuptials”

    Her fiancé better have a solid pre-nuptial agreement that won’t get thrown out by the Divorce Courts.

  5. avatar SkyMan77 says:

    Wow…. (let me say that backwards)… WOW!!! A beautiful redhead that likes to hunt and shoot her .375 Holland & Holland Magnum. That’s one lucky Dude… Very Best of luck to you Jackie!!!

  6. avatar ready,fire,aim says:

    i’m looking at the new ex mrs ready,fire,aim…..

  7. avatar Ralph says:

    Wow. That girl’s got some great pair of boots.

  8. avatar Not Too Eloquent says:

    Winning…

  9. avatar GS650G says:

    Ask MikeB203000 if he’s been to the wilds of Africa. I hear it’s a gun free paradise.

  10. avatar ThomasR says:

    My only complaint is I would like you to link more often to beautiful women who like shooting guns. Like her.
    Otherwise, if a some person dosen’t want to look at beautiful women, strange as that may be, don’t click the link.

  11. avatar Rambeast says:

    A magnum rifle with a red dot…really?

    1. avatar sevenpt62 says:

      Ever see any videos of safari hunts? Most shots I’ve seen them take are within 75 yds. Perfect for a red dot. Also when hunting animals that frequently charge you, quick target aquisition is the name of the game.

      1. avatar Justice06RR says:

        I’d probably just take a semi-auto .308 in that case. Lol.

        This chick is definitely a catch (pun intended). does she have a sister?

  12. avatar bontai Joe says:

    She looks THAT GOOD and hunts? Definitely my kind of woman!

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