Self-Defense Tip: Hide Your Gun During Casual Sex

 

I love the phrase “casual sex.” It makes sexual congress with a stranger seem like it’s only a few notches above a casual remark. “So  . . . how was it? Casual. Casual like a comfortable pair of pants or totally flippant?” The term casual sex also implies that sex with someone you know is serious. As a twice-divorced male, Roger that. So to speak. Where was I? Oh yes, threesomes. Yum. Or not . . .

“A married couple’s three-way romp with another woman took a violent turn when the wife thought her husband was sneaking another session while she was asleep — and pulled a gun in a fit of jealousy,” nydailnews.com reports.

Guess what? According to baynews9.com, she pulled the trigger . . .

Deputies said Mindi Rice [the understanding if prescription drug-addled and not exactly Dominique Piek-class wife] grabbed a revolver, threatened to shoot the other woman and fired a round into the ceiling.

David Rice took the gun away and grabbed his wife by the throat while holding the gun beside her face, then threatened to kill her, deputies said.  He reportedly fired the gun and the bullet lodged in the wall.

The other woman called 911 and escaped at about 2 a.m., but the Rices refused to come outside.  A SWAT team arrived at the home and the ensuing standoff lasted two hours.

Just in case you didn’t know it: cheating on someone with access to a firearm is a dangerous business–even if the extra-curricular fluid swapping is [more-or-less] by prior arrangement. If you think about it, everyone has access to a gun, one way or another. Including, one hopes, you.

Which reminds me . . .

Anatomically speaking, there comes a point in a sexual encounter when concealed doesn’t mean concealed. Self-defense-wise, you might want to postpone that moment as long as possible so le petit mort to become actual mort.

When push comes to shove, either you’ve got to somehow undress discreetly (CLUNK!) or take a bathroom break and hide your gat. The former offers you the chance to get to your gun if you need it while the latter stops your new lover from blowing your brains out. So to speak times infinity.

Paranoid? Tell me that when you’re doing the horizontal mambo with a young lady and an up-to-that-point unrevealed boyfriend reveals himself (as in suddenly appears). Or your post-coital pal suddenly decides that rough sex equals rape.

I don’t know about you but I’ve reached the point where I don’t want to have sex with a gun grabber (in any sense of that expression). So I make sure a romantic interest knows my interest in firearms and supports the Second Amendment.

So much for OpSec. “Do you have a gun on you now?” Uh . . .

In short: sex is a minefield for someone exercising their Constitutionally protected right to keep and bear arms. And yet, somehow, we manage to reproduce and live to greet another day. Go figure.

Meanwhile, be careful out there.