Who Would Have Thought Someone Without a Gun Could Commit a Crime?

 

“Police say a man robbed a hotel a mile from the Pentagon with an unusual weapon: a hot cup of coffee,” nbcnews.comreports. “The suspect entered the Best Western in Arlington, Va., on Tuesday night around 9:45 p.m., threw the coffee on the front desk attendant, and jumped the counter, stealing a cash drawer with about $450 and a cell phone in it, Arlington County police said. He then drove away. Officers dispatched a K9 unit and a U.S. Park Police helicopter was called in to help search for the suspect, who fled in a white sedan, but he wasn’t caught, police said. The desk clerk’s condition is unknown.”

comments

  1. avatar Ralph says:

    Wow. I guess that coffee really sucked.

    1. avatar Sanchanim says:

      Hotel coffee… Meh…….

  2. avatar Sanchanim says:

    Did he at least ask the attendant if they wanted cream and sugar with the coffee?

  3. avatar Dracon1201 says:

    WhoaWhoaWeeWhoa! Stop right there! You mean to tell me that not all robberies happen with guns or swords?! I am (almost) speechless!

    /end sarcasm/

    But seriously, I wonder if the fugitive actually planned that, or if it was a spur-of-the-moment deal.

    1. avatar Buzzy243 says:

      My vote goes to spur of the moment. Who doesn’t feel like commuting felony assault and then robbing a cash register when they get a bad cup of coffee?

  4. avatar jwm says:

    see to the grabbers this crime had the perfect ending. the bad guy got away.

  5. avatar Silver says:

    Time for some common sense coffee control.
    These morning people who bitterly cling to their coffee are the real problem.
    After all, nobody NEEDS to have their beverages at a hot temperature.
    Obviously, only police and military are responsible enough to handle a drink as dangerous as coffee.
    The burns wouldn’t have been so bad without the criminal’s high-capacity assault cup. Ban venti size!
    And, with thanks to our most recent lunatic featured on the site: Sometimes we need to have our coffee privileges taken away until we can learn how to behave with hot beverages.

    1. avatar LongPurple says:

      Another guy who should switch to de-caf.

    2. avatar Bryan says:

      “Obviously, only police and military are responsible enough to handle a drink as dangerous as coffee”

      Let’s not forget the donuts!

  6. avatar hoppes#9 says:

    “The desk clerk’s condition is unknown.”

    Alert? Boiling mad? Bitter?

    1. avatar CarlosT says:

      Steamed?

    2. avatar Bryan says:

      Foaming at the mouth?

  7. avatar Angel says:

    We must ban coffee! It’s for the children.

  8. avatar CarlosT says:

    Didn’t Caleb Giddings defend himself once with a cup of coffee? This just demonstrates that coffee has a dark side too. A rich, velvety dark side with hints of citrus and a strong finish.

  9. avatar Bill Baldwin says:

    You see? this is why we need to ban ASSAULT WEAPONS and EXTRA CAPACITY ASSAULT CLIPS! Dammit, don’t y’all see the violence……wait, what? Coffee? Ummm, but if he didn’t have coffee, he surely would have used an assault weapon, so ban them anyway, and knives…and fist and feet…and pointy things…and blunt things…Oh what the hell, just ban robbery, that should work.

  10. avatar Aharon says:

    Cain attacked his brother Abel with a rock. Now people are being attacked with coffee. What can’t be used as a weapon? We must ban everything.

  11. avatar Bryan says:

    Speaking of coffee having a dark side. Did anyone else hear (I think it was yesterday) about the open tennis umpire that reportedly killed her husband of 50 some odd yrs. with a coffee mug? Chalk another stat up to blunt objects.

    1. avatar jwm says:

      i shit you not. about 30 years ago a woman bartender killed a customer with a glass ashtray in a dive up the street fron where i lived. one of those heavy glass ones you used to see in bars. hit him in the head.

  12. avatar Don says:

    Caleb defended himself from a mugger with this same weapon a while back. I also remember a woman suing a dealer of this weapon successfully after a self inflicted wound due to negligent discharge. Some of the most powerful of this weapon is imported from South America. Even when you use this weapon responsibly and as intended it will still loosen your bowels.

    Sounds like a “bold” robbery to me. It takes more then the average “Joe” to pull such a stunt.

  13. avatar Chris says:

    Bad movie, good quote.

    “I just ambushed you with a cup of coffee.” -R. De Niro

    1. avatar Matt in FL says:

      Heresy! DeNiro and Jean Reno? Together? In a bad movie? Unpossiburu!

  14. avatar Goldenboy says:

    Time for common sense coffee control. No more hot coffee. Only iced coffee from now on.

    1. avatar Aharon says:

      Are ice-cubes ok or are they dangerous projectiles?

      1. avatar CarlosT says:

        You could totally cause someone to slip and break their neck with a handful of ice cubes.

        1. avatar OHgunner says:

          Hollow ice cubes are cop killers! They were made exclusively for the murder of police. Anyone caught with hollow Ice cubes in their coffee will be sentenced to 15 years for endangering an officer

      2. avatar IdahoPete says:

        Have you ever fired an ice cube out of a WristRocket slingshot? Assault cubes! Plus, the evidence melts!

  15. avatar ADC USN/Ret says:

    Gun-grabbers take note.

    Gun Free Zones Kill.

    Therefor, lawmakers enacting those laws are killing us.

    Therefor, the gun-grabbers who knowingly vote for them, kill.

    Is there more than that? YOU gun-grabbers are the problem!

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