Obscure Object of Desire: Optics Planet Z.E.R.O. Kit

By now, the whole zombie apocalypse thing isn’t a matter of if any more. It’s really just a matter of when. The stories of naked face-eaters continue to pile up. And they’re not even bothering to keep up that ‘bath salts’ pretense any more. But never fear because every prepper’s friend, Optics Planet, has just come out with the first all-in-one World War Z comprehensive survival package that’s designed not only to keep you alive once the stiffs get the munchies, but to help you find a cure for the virulent menace that’s sure to walk the earth . . .

That’s right, their new Z.E.R.O. (Zombie Extermination, Research and Operations) Kit is the first full-spectrum post-ZHTF survival solution. Just add your own firearms, food and water and these 49 top-of-the-line items will keep you equipped for any eventuality. From high end optics and reloading gear to lab equipment, night vision and solar power, this package will keep you at the top of the food chain shooting down at the shambling hordes until you can come up with a vaccine to end the undead advance once and for all.

Sure, all this top notch gear will cost you a pretty penny now ($23,999) but since money won’t do you much good anyway once the brain eaters are pounding at your door, can you really put a price on survival? Besides, how many credit card collectors will be left to hassle you once the zombies hit the fan anyway?

comments

  1. avatar MotoJB says:

    I bet if they put a sku on the website…some crazy prepper would order it.

  2. avatar PANTERA VAZQUEZ says:

    Suitable for SOME type of award………funny as F#@! I was having a crappy day; thanks for giving me a silly smile, I truly needed it…still giggling…..

  3. avatar matt says:

    I wish I had a job that allowed me to create bullshit all day long. I want to know how many of those EOTechs with the bio hazard reticule have been sold.

  4. avatar إبليس says:

    There’s only one thing to do…tally up the individual costs of each item and compare to the $24,000 bargain 🙂

    1. Feel free to pick up that assignment. I’d love to see the results.

      1. avatar إبليس says:

        Using a notepad, choosing the lowest cost version of each option, and rounding off some rough edges, my grand total came to $25,005 and 0 cents. Shipping must be astronomical on this kit. Of all the categories, glass came in the highest at around ten grand…big surprise.

        As the sole reviewer so eloquently waxed “YES! This+ three wolf moon shirt = indestructible zombie killing juggernaut.”

        Warning: my math sucks and YMMV

  5. avatar Tom jones says:

    Plz no more zombie stuff it’s lame

    1. avatar Michael B. says:

      +1

    2. avatar nonnamous says:

      Things I don’t understand:

      OFWGs wondering why younger generations don’t enjoy their sport as much.

      OFWGs complaining about marketing aimed at younger generations.

  6. avatar brigo50 says:

    Z-Day aside,
    This really made me want to go shopping on optics planet. That guy with the ball bat testing the battlemug has a great job!!!

  7. avatar brigo50 says:

    Not really seeing the use of the science tools, those are hella expensive and if you dont know how to use them?!? Im guessing its going to take more than a microscope and a piepette tumbler to find the cure in the apocalypse. /sarc

  8. avatar Aharon says:

    Years ago, I sold a guy a $10,000 stereo tuner. Later, I sold a couple a $308,000 engagement ring and matching bracelet. It is amazing what some people can and will spend money on. I wonder if that couple is still married?

  9. avatar Accur81 says:

    No guns in that kit?!

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