It’s easy to let your mind wander when you’re driving. Work, relationships, that annoying little rash that just popped up on your ass…all are subjects that can flit fleetingly through the transom of your mind. When Tavares Colbert was driving Saturday, his attention turned to his gat. So much so, in fact, that he felt it necessary to pull over to check it out. As he later told police, “…he’d had problems with it earlier and wanted to make sure it was functioning properly.” We’re not sure where Colbert was heading that he felt he had to make sure his gun was in good working order before he got there . . .
…but damned it he was going to arrive with a hesitant heater. And as newson6.com tells us, that’s just about the time that things got painful.
Colbert told police when he tried to force the slide back, he also had his finger on the trigger. The gun went off and he shot himself in the penis.
When police arrived at the hospital and examined the Colbert report, they discovered that in addition to some a painful pendulum, he also had a felony record. Which made the hole in Mr. Happy not only uncomfortable, but prima facie evidence of another crime.
Colbert said he was aware of that, and that’s why he was trying to sell the weapon.
Neither the excuse – nor the whistling sound Tavares now makes when he walks – cut much ice with the OKCPD. They’ve since charged him with illegal possession of a firearm. But mangled member or not, he’ll be able to walk out of jail with his head held high – someday – secure in the knowledge that he’ll be coming home to a bright, shiny IGOTD statuette. It probably won’t make having to sit down to pee any less humiliating, but at least he’ll have a memento of his fifteen minutes of fame.