Self-Defense Tip: Shoot Zombies Until They’re Dead. Again. Still.

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“A Miami police officer on Saturday fatally shot a naked man who was chewing on the face of another man on a downtown causeway off-ramp,” the AP reports. “Witnesses said that a woman saw two men fighting and flagged down a police officer, who came upon a naked man mauling the other man. The newspaper quoted witnesses as saying that the officer ordered the naked man to back away, and when he ignored the demand, the officer shot him. Witnesses said that the naked man continued his attack after being shot once, and the officer shot him several more times.” Aside from the obvious zombie alert, there’s a lesson here: keep shooting until the threat stops. Or run. That is all.

comments

  1. avatar Seb says:

    PCP is a hell of a drug.

    1. avatar Pistolero says:

      You know, I think I’m, ‘behind the curve’ on this one. Are zombies something that I, now, have to worry about?

      1. avatar Mark Buehner says:

        You’ve always had to worry about them. You’re just lucky to be alive. Completely alive and sentient anyway.

  2. avatar L says:

    Suddenly all that zombie ammo that I see in the stores it’s not looking so crazy anymore.

    1. avatar LT says:

      No, it’s still crazy… slapping “zombie” on something doesn’t magically give it anti-zombie powers.

      When the Zombocalypse comes around I’m finding a priest and bringing him to my stockpile to bless whatever I’ve got… should be good enough to help keep the zombies and vampires away.

      1. avatar Rob Crawford says:

        And then you’re vulnerable to werewolves and rabid chimps.

        1. avatar LT says:

          I knew I forgot something! Some of those rounds would be plated in silver, or have just a li’l bit coating/dusted on the bullet.

          As for the chimps… well, I figure good ol’ hollowpoints will be enough.

  3. avatar LeftShooter says:

    Damn Miami face-eating zombies! I thought Sonny Crockett exterminated all of them back in the ’80s!

  4. avatar LT says:

    Guess this guy doesn’t know his Resident Evil.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xKerx0r-oRI

    1:03 for the relevant part.

  5. avatar Sanchanim says:

    And everyone thought all the zombie gear was just a fad ha!!!

  6. avatar Vermin says:

    Just wait. Soon the news will be flooded with pictures showing the zombie when he was an angelic looking little tween zombie and demanding that the officer be convicted for profiling and murdering him.

    1. avatar Aharon says:

      #1

  7. Cute video. Very entertaining. Thanks guys for sharing it. 🙂

  8. avatar Charlie says:

    Self Defense Tip: When the going gets tough, the tough bite. And gnaw. And rip. And gouge. Your body is a weapon.

  9. avatar Aharon says:

    The latest on this story is that the zombie ate off 75% of the victim’s face. When the cop ordered the zombie off the man the zombie responded by growling at the cop and continuing his attack. I wonder if this zombie was on a new type of drug being brought in by the cartels with the USG looking the other way so the cartels can afford to buy more guns from the USG in the Iron River gun trade. I think this zombie attack is the fault of Eric Holder.

    1. avatar Parthenon says:

      It’s probobly PCP

    2. avatar John says:

      Nothing like a BS conspiracy tale to liven up the day.

      1. avatar Aharon says:

        It’s all true. If you are trying to confuse people then maybe you are secretly employed by the ATF department of misinformation that uses the Internet to keep the truth from being revealed and keeping us from being set free.

    3. avatar Mike says:

      Latest theory is the zombie was on “bath salts”. They’re a fairly recently introduced synthetic drug which is sold in head shops and at independently owned convenience stations.

      It’s a drug called MPDV, which is a sort of hallucinogen/stimulant. It’s marketed as “fake coke”, but it’s bad stuff. A friend of mine went on a binge and ended up being forcibly admitted to the hospital.

  10. avatar Accur81 says:

    Police work is a strange thing…

    1. avatar bontai Joe says:

      “Shoot Zombies until they are dead.” reminds me of a special forces op I read a while back. I believe it was in Africa, where hostages were being held on a plane. The good guys stormed the plane and shot the bad guys up as quickly as possible. As each commando entered the plane, he pumped 2 rounds into any down bad guys he passed, while also engaging any more bad guys in front of him. These shots were referred to as “anchoring” shots, making sure the dead bad guys stayed dead. Worst thing that can happen is have a bad guy you thought was dead, pop up unexpectedly behind you, so each good guy had an equal responcibility that the bad guys stayed dead. Not a tactic that can be easily justified in civilian use with review boards, the liberal press, etc nitpicking every move. But this is something we might all keep in mind for when Zombies attack.

  11. avatar GS650G says:

    I’m sure someone will point out the race of the Zombie and question if the police really did everything they could have to end this peaceably without using violence. Like maybe waiting until he was full, holding his belly and burping.

  12. avatar slacker says:

    Hornady’s Zombie Max ammo says “Loaded with PROVEN Z-Max bullets… yes PROVEN Z-Max bullets (have you seen a Zombie?). ” Unless the cop used Z-Max, then Hornady’s false advertising now!! 🙂

  13. avatar West says:

    Rule 5, people, Rule 5. “Double tap”

    1. avatar edward says:

      West good advice. For a variety of reasons my daily carry is the LCP with laser. Nice gun but it is only 380 auto, so my practice time is two rounds each target.

  14. avatar Walter Sobchak says:

    12 gauge.

  15. avatar MT Geoff says:

    Howdy friends
    The story does lend itself to a zombie apocalypse/Mad Max/druggie kind of thing and it is the kind of incident that leads to a lot of jokes in poor taste. I’m sure I’ll think of a few myself.
    But the story itself is a tragedy. There’s a young man dead and another mutilated who may die yet.
    As for the double-tap, I’ve seen a lot of movies where the dead bad guy was only mostly dead, then revives at a bad time for the hero. Moral: if you turn your back on a corpse, yes, make sure that’s what you’re turning your back on.

  16. avatar John Reece says:

    The real issue is whether we are talking slow zombies or fast zombies.

    For the traditional slow-zombie apocalypse I thing you’re basically talking a good .22, perhaps with a laser sight. Only head shots count with slow zombies and that’s easier with a .22. It’s also easier to stockpile ammo. In fact, I think I’m going to go get another brick tomorrow.

    For a fast-zombie apocalypse, like ’28 Hours’, all the rules about having enough gun apply but it’s really a totally hopeless scenario given how fast they are. Which is why I’m not too fond of these newfangled fast-zombie flickes.

    1. avatar LT says:

      Don’t forget the utter absurdity of anything dancing around days after running out of food – ain’t no way those things’d have enough ATP to pull that off unless they hibernated, which would be a pretty scary concept itself. (You’d never know when the undead were actually dead for good unless y’put ’em down yourself!)

      1. avatar michael c says:

        They have food – us and them.

  17. avatar bits says:

    45-70 Government –

    use Goex Black Dawge black Powder cartridges – 405 grain

    ” if your going to kill someone, you might as well be polite about it ” ( Sir Winston Churchill )

    not only does the job, but produces some nice sparks, and plentiful smoke – that smells good too –

    do it once – do it right and have fun doing it.

  18. avatar Dandapani says:

    Everyone knows that you can only kill a zombie with a head shot.

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