As we reported last July, for $850, an ATF-approved Holy Smoke hand loader will seal your ashes inside your choice of ammo, either shotgun shells or pistol rounds. In the latter case, you get a case of hollow-points with your nose-mounted remains at the front under a clear seal [pic after the jump]. Hmmm. What catchphrase would your survivor use to shoot your murderer with bullets containing your ashes? Of course, that’s NOT the point AT ALL. It’s called Holy Smoke for Christ’s sake. (Shame on you.) Anyway, I spoke with the Smoke folk and they told that patriotic customers can now order red, white and blue powder to accompany their ashes on their short, violent journey into atmospheric dispersal. And yes, you can prearrange the whole deal before shuffling off this mortal coil. I’m in. So to speak.

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14 Responses to Holy Smoke Now Offers Red, White and Blue Smoke

  1. To be honest, I think my wife would rather press the shotgun trigger to send me TO the crematorium rather than disperse my ashes away from it.

  2. This would be a rather odd and amusing way to be remembered.

    Become one with the ballistic gelatin.

  3. I’m in, though I think I’ll just leave my reloading equipment and specific instructions for my next of kin to do it themselves.

  4. When my time comes load my ashes up into a special load with ball bearings and use it to shoot the next home invasion person. Or better yet to shoot one of our nations enemy’s. Put some good use to my remains. Once I’m dead all my body is, is a shell as my soul has moved on.

  5. Considering creamation but after watching the ashes in a coffee can scene in Big Lebowski,
    Realizing that the family might not be yukking it up after a face full of Grandpa,
    I needed to come up with another plan.
    Since Vikings ships are so expensive I have considered having ashes loaded into some kind of aerial fireworks, hopefully a blinding light and rapid disassembly will result in at least a couple of oohs and aahs.
    Any suggestions ?
    One round at a time will take a while and just doesn’t have the same appeal.

    • Tell them you want to be loaded into a “salute” those are the artillery shells that go up and are just a super loud report with a big white flash.

  6. “What catchphrase would your survivor use to shoot your murderer with bullets containing your ashes?”

    S/He always said s/he would be there to protect me . . .

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