In what may be a bid to gain support for his upcoming election, President Obama signed an executive order yesterday re-opening the machine gun registry for new registrations. The registry had been closed since 1986, meaning only machine guns made and registered before 1986 were legal for civilians to own and making those machine guns massively expensive. The move has generally been seen as an affirmation of the President’s belief in the second amendment and a sign of good things to come, but existing machine gun owners seem to be rather pissed off that their investments are now worth considerably less than they paid for them. When asked for comment, one machine gun owner reportedly said “April fools!”

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39 Responses to BREAKING: Obama Signs Executive Order Opening Machine Gun Registry [APRIL FOOLS PRANK]

  1. I…I was almost happy…I was thinking full auto AR-15’s wouldnt be $10,000 for just the lower..

  2. It’s hard to think of something nasty and hurtful to type when I’m laughing non stop at myself for getting so excited… All I could think while reading that was “Glock 18! Glock 18! Glock 18!” and then… POOF!!

    Don’t judge me. I just woke up after only 5 hours of sleep.

  3. That’s as good an April Fool’s joke as the time someone told me that Ronald Reagan signed restrictive gun control legislation both as Governor of California and President of the U.S.!


  4. It’s my mom’s birthday, so I’m well aware of the date. However, I’m reading this on my phone, so all I see is headlines, and you got me. For about five seconds. Long enough to get chills.

  5. The move has generally been seen as an affirmation of the President’s belief in the second amendment and a sign of good things to come,

    and in other news, Jesus has returned to Earth with Elvis and they plan on having a Religous Rock Concert at the National Mall. Jesus has stated that the attendance will be large as the dead have been raised and transformed with new bodies so that they may enjoy the Rock Concert performed by Elvis.

  6. My heart skipped a couple of beats reading this ’til I got to the bottom. A clever April fools joke indeed.

  7. While reading the post, I wondered briefly why MSNBC didn’t splash the story across their site condemning the action. BTW, it is symbolically funny watching Obama sign new laws with his Left hand.

  8. They could raise the transfer tax to $2000 for full-auto machineguns and make a relatively quick $200 million (100,000 new registrations x 2000). Heck, they might even make more, I would buy a CNC machine and dump out HK auto-sears as fast as I could make them.

    And with regard to the original topic…Leghorn, you magnificent bastage…I was about to speed-dial the local Class III guy and reserve a registered AR-15 lower.

  9. Funny thing is, if he did, I’d actually consider voting for him.

    As it stands, I’m actively supporting the opposite outcome.

      • L. Neil Smith on the subject:

        People accuse me of being a single-issue writer, a single- issue thinker, and a single- issue voter, but it isn’t true. What I’ve chosen, in a world where there’s never enough time and energy, is to focus on the one political issue which most clearly and unmistakably demonstrates what any politician—or political philosophy—is made of, right down to the creamy liquid center.

        Make no mistake: all politicians—even those ostensibly on the side of guns and gun ownership—hate the issue and anyone, like me, who insists on bringing it up. They hate it because it’s an X-ray machine. It’s a Vulcan mind-meld. It’s the ultimate test to which any politician—or political philosophy—can be put.

        If a politician isn’t perfectly comfortable with the idea of his average constituent, any man, woman, or responsible child, walking into a hardware store and paying cash—for any rifle, shotgun, handgun, machinegun, anything—without producing ID or signing one scrap of paper, he isn’t your friend no matter what he tells you.

      • When the single issue speaks to a variety of philosophical issues, such as the meaning of individual freedom, adherence to the written Constitution, the relationship of the individual to the government, the proper scope of government regulation and others, a single issue can often draw useful ideological differences for voters.

        There is more there than you appear to think there is, James. Sometimes simple solutions are the best.

  10. Meh. Too obvious. I knew it was fools as soon as I read the title. You gotta be more subtle than that.

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