BREAKING: Obama Signs Executive Order Opening Machine Gun Registry

In what may be a bid to gain support for his upcoming election, President Obama signed an executive order yesterday re-opening the machine gun registry for new registrations. The registry had been closed since 1986, meaning only machine guns made and registered before 1986 were legal for civilians to own and making those machine guns massively expensive. The move has generally been seen as an affirmation of the President’s belief in the second amendment and a sign of good things to come, but existing machine gun owners seem to be rather pissed off that their investments are now worth considerably less than they paid for them. When asked for comment, one machine gun owner reportedly said “April fools!”