“Texas Navy” Launches First of Six Rio Grande Gunboats

I used to sell boats. These things probably set my state back at least $5m dollars. Not to mention the ongoing price of running the damn things. And for what reason? We could just legalize drugs, and stop making the drug trade lucrative enough to cross the border. But no, we’re going to buy six of the biggest goddamn dick extensions I’ve ever seen, mount even bigger compensatory devices on the deck, and cruise up and down the Rio Grande like its the damn Mekong. Check it [via cnn.com]: “The 34-foot-long boats, each powered by three, 300-horsepower outboard engines, will have bulletproof plating and six machine guns apiece, not unlike the river patrol boats the U.S. Navy used during the Vietnam War.” Admiral Rick Perry?