And our readers think we’re breast obsessed. Frequent flyers will be happy to know that our vigilant, safety-conscious friends manning the TSA “security” checkpoints at DFW have been been particularly thorough lately. At least they have been when screening women. According to a story by dfw.cbslocal.com, plenty of complaints have been filed by females subjected to multiple screenings – not to mention barely concealed winks and elbows – while TSA’s finest get the scans juuust right. And at least one female TSA agent didn’t mind pimping for the guys in the dark room leering at the screens . . .
When Ellen Terrell and her husband, Charlie, flew out of DFW Airport several months ago, Terrell says she was surprised by a question a female TSA agent asked her. “She says to me, ‘Do you play tennis?’ And I said, ‘Why?’ She said, ‘You just have such a cute figure.’”
Terrell says she walked into the body scanner which creates an image that a TSA agent in another room reviews. Terrell says she tried to leave, but the female agent stopped her. “She says, ‘Wait, we didn’t get it,’” recalls Terrell, who claims the TSA agent sent her back a second time and even a third. But that wasn’t good enough.
After the third time, Terrell says even the agent seemed frustrated with her co-workers in the other room. “She’s talking into her microphone and she says, ‘Guys, it is not blurry, I’m letting her go. Come on out.’”
We don’t know for sure, but it seems a safe bet that the more Rubenesque, non-tennis playing female travelers probably haven’t been subjected to the same level of heightened scrutiny as the, um, athleticly-built types such as Mrs. Terrell. The boys in the back probably don’t have nearly as much trouble getting their scans focused in one take if the subject wears a size 14 or larger. Of course, the less shapely also avoid double and triple exposures to God-knows-how-much radiation the scanning machines generate, too.
The silly, useless and time consuming security theater that the Transportation Security Agency performs on a daily basis continues to wear on the traveling public. Sure there are benefits if you happen to be one of the TSA’s designated feeler uppers such as not having to worry about gross violations of security procedures affecting their job status. But the rest of us have to live with the delays, the inconvenience, the groping and the incremental rem loads.
But what the hell. It’s only tax money and our betters at DHS get to say they’re doing something about airline security. Never mind that flying would be a lot safer if pilots (not to mention the cabin crew) were allowed to pack heat in airports as well as in cockpits. And don’t get us started on letting CCW-licensed passengers carry on planes. But that would mean dismantling an entire federal bureaucracy and you’ll sooner glance out your window and see a porcine formation of winged escorts cruising along at 35,000 feet alongside your Dreamliner than a brace of TSA agents being shown the door.