Idiot Zombie Brand Extension of the Day: Otis Technologies Cleaning System

Brand managers across the gun industry have been taking the lazy-ass approach to, um, no-brainer brand extension for quite a while now. Rather than coming up with actual new products, they’ve been jumping (the shark) on the zombie bandwagon faster than Kim Kardashian dials her divorce attorney. All you need is a little lurid green paint and voila – a new SKU for your product catalog. The latest to adopt the walking dead approach is Otis Technologies with their (cue the creepy music) Zombie Gun Cleaning System…

It sounds like a perfectly serviceable cleaning kit, but through the use of a little embroidery and the work of a not-very-original graphic artist, it’s now just the thing to help fend off the brain-starved shamblers menacing your neighborhood. Yawn.

From Otis’s tiresome pre-SHOT press release:

If thoughts of Zombies keep you up at night, Otis Technology, the leading manufacturer of gun cleaning systems and accessories, has an apocalyptic survival item to add to your Zombie collection.  Serious Zombie hunters and enthusiasts absolutely must keep their Zombie firearms clean and properly maintained to be ready for the next attack. The new Zombie Cleaning System from Otis is designed to clean all 5.56MM rifles, 9MM and 45 caliber pistols, and 12 gauge shotguns. It includes 8” and 30” Memory Flex® Cables for effective and correct Breech-to-Muzzle® cleaning, four (4) bronze bore brushes, a rubberized patch saver® for a 360° cleaning of shotgun barrels, and specialized precision tools for a complete breakdown and fine cleaning of all critical and hard to reach areas of your firearm.  A green bore reflector/flag safety, D.O.A./85 Solvent, and a limited edition Zombie labeled soft case are a few of the unique components featured in this new system.

It’s a no-brainer.  Don’t make a mindless mistake when you’re trying to save your life from the walking dead. Get back in the game and clean your Zombie firearm with Otis!