Idiot Zombie Brand Extension of the Day: Otis Technologies Cleaning System

Brand managers across the gun industry have been taking the lazy-ass approach to, um, no-brainer brand extension for quite a while now. Rather than coming up with actual new products, they’ve been jumping (the shark) on the zombie bandwagon faster than Kim Kardashian dials her divorce attorney. All you need is a little lurid green paint and voila – a new SKU for your product catalog. The latest to adopt the walking dead approach is Otis Technologies with their (cue the creepy music) Zombie Gun Cleaning System…

It sounds like a perfectly serviceable cleaning kit, but through the use of a little embroidery and the work of a not-very-original graphic artist, it’s now just the thing to help fend off the brain-starved shamblers menacing your neighborhood. Yawn.

From Otis’s tiresome pre-SHOT press release:

If thoughts of Zombies keep you up at night, Otis Technology, the leading manufacturer of gun cleaning systems and accessories, has an apocalyptic survival item to add to your Zombie collection.  Serious Zombie hunters and enthusiasts absolutely must keep their Zombie firearms clean and properly maintained to be ready for the next attack. The new Zombie Cleaning System from Otis is designed to clean all 5.56MM rifles, 9MM and 45 caliber pistols, and 12 gauge shotguns. It includes 8” and 30” Memory Flex® Cables for effective and correct Breech-to-Muzzle® cleaning, four (4) bronze bore brushes, a rubberized patch saver® for a 360° cleaning of shotgun barrels, and specialized precision tools for a complete breakdown and fine cleaning of all critical and hard to reach areas of your firearm.  A green bore reflector/flag safety, D.O.A./85 Solvent, and a limited edition Zombie labeled soft case are a few of the unique components featured in this new system.

It’s a no-brainer.  Don’t make a mindless mistake when you’re trying to save your life from the walking dead. Get back in the game and clean your Zombie firearm with Otis!

20 Responses to Idiot Zombie Brand Extension of the Day: Otis Technologies Cleaning System

  1. avatarJoe C. says:

    There are only two good Zombie “products”, Dawn of the Dead, and Shaun of the Dead!

    • avatarCarlosT says:

      The Zombie Survival Guide and World War Z, both by Max Brooks, are fun reads.

      • avatarTexan says:

        +1.

        All jokes and kidding aside, Max Brooks is considered by many to be the world’s foremost Zombologist – he’s done tons of research and really knows his stuff.

        On the lighter side, another good book (but this one is fiction) is The Zen of Zombie: Better Living Through the Undead.
        :)

        • avatarRandomHero says:

          i received the zen of zombie as a secret santa gift this year. i need to get to reading it soon.

  2. avatarRalph says:

    Obviously, the brand managers are zombies or they wouldn’t be trying to sell us this crap.

  3. avatarAharon says:

    I wonder if Taurus will start selling customized Zombie guns.

  4. avatarIdahoPete says:

    Wait a minute!!!! Have these products been tested for their ability to clean disintegrating zombie bodily fluids and goo off the firearm when you are reduced to beating the zombies into a puddle of goop because you ran out of ammo? If not, they need to modify their ads before the gummint cracks down on them for false advertising.

  5. avatarAPBTFan says:

    The zombie theme was fun at first but its getting pretty tired by now.

    On the other hand, Otis products are top notch. I have pretty much the same kit (sans embroidery) and a better one for your range bag or hunting pack has yet to be made. It also works great for anything that can’t take a rod from the breech. Getting the bores of my Mini-14 and Ruger 96/44 nice and sparkly is a piece of cake now and I never again have to shudder at the thought of using a rod from the muzzle.

  6. avatarGUNSnDONUTS says:

    A sucker is born every minute.

  7. avatarVan says:

    My wife made me buy the Zombie Hunting Permit decal whilst picking up a Ruger SR22 today. No, really, she insisted that I buy it, and the Ruger.

  8. avatarMatt G. says:

    It’s just marketing. Do you have a conniption every time you see a Coke Logo on a stuffed bear?

  9. This is a good idea, many guns are broken down and recobbled together, maybe Century arms should market their rifles as “Zombies Guns”

  10. avatarMatt Gregg says:

    The zombie thing is getting annoying but maybe it will create some new firearms enthusiasts.

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