Irresponsible Gun Owner of the Day: Kristi Ellis?

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Insomnia must be a bitch. Fortunately, nodding off to never-never land is something that’s never been a problem for me. I can see how not sleeping can have its up-side, though. At least you have lots of time to do all the little things that otherwise seem to slip through the cracks. Just think how immaculate your guns would always be with those extra hours each day…

Kristi Ellis must be one of those really thoughtful, giving people. She was up and cleaning her sweetie’s heater in the wee hours of Sunday morning. At least, that’s what she says. Unfortunately – if you believe her story – she forgot to check that the gun was empty first. And that’s how she ended up shooting her boyfriend, Michael Allih, in the gullet. Except she ‘accidently’ fired the gun twice. From nbcmiami.com:

Kristi Ellis, 40, told police that at 4 a.m. she’s couldn’t sleep and to make her boyfriend, 40-year-old Michael Allih, feel better she decided to clean his .38 revolver, said Sgt. Christopher Chastain, Davie Police spokesman.  The gun went off twice and one bullet hit him in the abdomen.

Again, taking her story at face value, she’s certainly deserving of IGOTD distinction. And we’ll be happy to make sure she gets her trophy. But the Davie, Florida PD may want to find out if any new life insurance policies have been issued on Mr. Allih recently. If so, we may have to take back our IGOTD award and issue one to her for creative story-telling.

comments

  1. avatar caffeinated says:

    I can accept it as an accident given the typical behavior of folks in the greater Miami Dade/Browsed County area. If people back up on interstate exit ramps, toll plazas, and need help figuring out the low air pressure light, it leads me to think
    this could have been accidental *read sarcasm*…

    1. avatar Corey says:

      Hey! That’s where I’m from… and yes, people are idiots there…I hate it down there. That’s why I left

  2. avatar GS650G says:

    He needs to hire a food taster.

  3. avatar Ropingdown says:

    Amazingly fast update! It was reported as in the “gullet” early on, but apparently forensics concluded and reported it was a shot to the abdomen before you’d a chance to conclude the note? Probably just rough sex gone bad? Sleepwalking, that’s it! The Ambien defense!

  4. avatar Mikeb302000 says:

    There was a Rebel Flag in the window.

    1. avatar GS650G says:

      Meaning? What? If he had a Obama Hope poster would that mean something else?

      1. avatar Ralph says:

        Yes. It would explain Kristi’s poor performance and inability to tell the truth.

        1. avatar sdog says:

          +10!

          how do you “accidentally” pull a double action trigger 2x’s?

        2. avatar Moonshine7102 says:

          You don’t. The “bang” which accompanies the first “accidental” trigger pull would remind you to keep your booger-hooker off the bang-switch.

        3. avatar Ron says:

          You accidentally miss the first time.

  5. avatar JOE MATAFOME says:

    It would also explain why she missed.

  6. avatar Steve says:

    So she was up late cleaning his gun and “accidentally” shot twice, with one shot hitting him in the stomach.

    Ok, one Accidental discharge might be plausible. Two? Nope. That doesnt pass the sniff test.

    Time to find a new girlfriend.

  7. avatar Tom says:

    I believe in the tooth fairy as well.
    How do you clean a loaded gun?

    1. avatar LC Judas says:

      By looking along the top for dirt, aligning the sights to be sure they cleanly present picture and then buff the actuation system for presentation.

      Cleaning a loaded gun is like roasting marshmallows in a gas station; ill advised, uninsureable, and better seen through a powerful zoom lens.

    2. avatar Ron says:

      Simple,
      Only the outside needed cleaning.
      No need to open the cylinder.
      As she was cleaning the top she accidentally cocked the hammer.
      When she cleaned the botom she accidentally pressed the trigger.
      The recoil was too much for her to handle so she dropped the revolver. Which now had to be cleaned again.

      Do you think she should hire me to defender her?

  8. avatar DaveL says:

    Irresponsible Homicidal Gun Owner of the Day.

  9. avatar Tom says:

    I think I have posted this before, but I actually had a Cheer Leader in my class have her Brother kill her younger Sister with a Shot Gun while ” cleaning ” it. I just do not buy it.

  10. avatar bob says:

    Once knew a 16 year old that almost took his knee out while cleening a .357 mag ended up geting 40 stitches and a lot of bulls**t thrown his way.

  11. avatar Paco says:

    “how do you “accidentally” pull a double action trigger 2x’s?”

    My favorite conjecture on that subject so far is that the first shot woke the guy up and he asked “What the hell was that?!!) so, she showed him.

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