What are the odds that someone could walk into a Chicago police station holding a loaded AR, declare martial law and not be either repeatedly ventilated, billy-clubbed to a bloody pulp or even charged with a crime? Hold on. Hmm. Seems the Cray supercomputer in my basement can’t derive a number that astronomically high…
But that’s exactly what an unidentified man “who appeared to be a bit unstable” did on Thanksgiving. From suntimes.com:
The man entered the Harrison District police station at 3151 W. Harrison around 4 a.m., carrying an AR-15 assault rifle and a loaded 30-round magazine, police said. Police said the man told them he was declaring martial law, but he did not point the gun at anybody or fire it.
Officers immediately tried to calm the 28-year-old man and were able to disarm him without a struggle and defuse the rifle, police said.
Police said the rifle was in full view, and the man made no effort to conceal it when he walked into the station. The man, who “appeared to be a bit unstable,” told officers he found the rifle a few days ago after seeing someone throw it over a fence, police said.
Wonder if they called in the bomb squad to handle defusing that AR.
The man’s now resting comfortably in a hospital where he’s being “evaluated.” His first order of business once he’s sprung should probably be to buy a lottery ticket because he’s clearly one of the luckiest bastards in Chicago.