American Guns: A Few More Pictures and Funny Caption Contest

It seems that Discovery Channel has released a few more photos of the Wyatt family ahead of their big TV debut next week. Since the last time we said anything about this we’ve heard a little bit more about some less than logical store policies, and the reason for giving these guys a TV show is becoming increasingly clear. Well, that and the jailbait daughter. In my opinion there’s only one thing left to do: post the pictures and try to come up with funny captions. Make sure to indicate which picture you’re poking fun at, the pictures are numbered in the order they appear in this post.

All I’m going to mention is how utterly miserable their son looks in all of these photos.

Picture #2:

Picture #3:

Picture #4:

Picture #5:

Picture #6:

Picture #7:

All photos are (C) Discovery Channel, used with permission.

Note: The only “prize” for this competition is the laughter you get from reading everyone else’s comments. If you want actual gubbins stay tuned for a later post.

comments

  1. In that second picture, it looks like Jr. is using a light and a magnifying glass to find his dad’s soul. No luck yet, probably gone for good.

  2. avatar Aaron says:

    Picture#2: “Everyone looks extra pensive while doing detailed metalwork, especially me”
    Picture#3: “Yes, son I know I look a bit like both Dale Dye and Harrison Ford in this picture. Just hold steady for the cameraman.”
    Picture#5: “Here in Colorado, our mountains are so real they look fake.”
    Picture#7: “The sun never sets on a 1911… until it does.”

    1. avatar Jeff says:

      Speaking of fake…

  3. avatar Charles says:

    I pic #5 Jr seems to be leaking something. Maybe he’s the first family member to shoot himself in the foot.

  4. avatar Dirk Diggler says:

    how old is the daughter and the mom looks like MILF material. May have to watch the show

    1. avatar TTACer says:

      #5.
      Jake: [fakes accent] How much for the little girl? How much for the women?
      Father: What?
      Jake: Your women. I want to buy your women. The little girl, your daughters… sell them to me. Sell me your children!

      1. avatar Totenglocke says:

        Well, it IS a tough job market out there….

  5. avatar Jon says:

    Sorry Dirk, the daughter is definitely jail bait.

  6. avatar Aharon says:

    Whenever I see the daughter I think of Elly May Clampett from the Beverly Hillbillies.

  7. avatar ExurbanKevin says:

    Judging by their stances, their last name should be Weaver.

  8. avatar GS650G says:

    Parading around a16 YO as a tease is nothing new, MTV has does this for 20 years.

  9. avatar yakima2k says:

    Pics 5 & 6:

    Rich Wyatt – “Note how the blue Colorado sky accentuates my wife’s Merton Hanks neck.”

  10. avatar Dirk Diggler says:

    16 is legal in most states – I am just sayin’ – plus they are just asking for trouble (Lol!)

    http://www.ammoland.com/2011/09/20/american-guns/
    “Renee is the matriarch of the Wyatt clan. She runs the household and the business. And she doesn’t go anywhere without her pistol in her boot. Kurt, 21, is the son of Rich and Renee. He qualified as a pistol expert at the age of 13 and is a gifted engraver, doing all of the engraving jobs that come through Gunsmoke. He hopes to one day own the shop his father has built up. Daughter Paige is a 16-year-old high school senior and works in the shop summers and nights/weekends. But don’t let her looks fool you. She knows more about guns than most men who walk into the shop. And before you know it, you’ll be buying one from her.”

    1. avatar Caleb says:

      I love it when press bumpers says stuff like “qualified as an expert with a pistol” or somesuch. Qualified by whom? In what discipline? Where? It’s like Iggy P at Front Site taking a bunch of gun classes and then declaring himself the Six-Sandwich Condiment Master or whatever idiotic title he has for himself.

    2. avatar Ralph says:

      before you know it, you’ll be buying one from her

      One what?

  11. avatar David says:

    Picture 7: I’m surprised nobody pointed out the lack of trigger discipline on the guys part in this pic yet.

    1. avatar TTACer says:

      That depends, maybe the problem that they are facing requires shooting, in which case the woman/girl are in the wrong. The guys certainly look more worried about whatever they are looking at than the woman/girl.

  12. avatar Nate says:

    Not a one of them knows how to properly hold a pistol for christsake!

  13. avatar mmasse says:

    From the whole Tom Martino thing I would never purchase from that abusive shop owner. I hope that his business drops off considerably after the show exposes what a major jerk this guy is.

    1. avatar Totenglocke says:

      He looks extremely uptight in all of the picture.

  14. avatar ready,fire,aim says:

    this show will be cancled before it begins i can already hear the family drama

  15. avatar Jason says:

    Apparently he was an associate of Jeff Cooper, although they had a falling out. He probably does know how to shoot, and that explains the continued use of the Weaver. Unethical business practices nullify any other qualifications though. Straight shooting isn’t just something you do with a gun.

  16. avatar Aharon says:

    I just watched Sons of Guns for the first time. They built a custom hybrid Shotgun-M16. The show was ok.

  17. avatar Sean says:

    Father and son are each wearing a Rolex Submariner. Provided that they’re real, I’m jelly.

    1. avatar Brad Kozak says:

      I’ve got my dad’s Submariner. I’m underwhelmed. I’d rather wear my Tag Heuer. It keeps better time.

  18. avatar RKflorida says:

    Wonder what they are pretending to be in these horribly posed pictures?

    Pic #6: Make sure to show plenty of boob honey, this is for ratings.

    Just a first passing thought:
    Hubby looks wimpy and out of place.
    Son needs a hair cut or some kind of butching up.
    Daughter needs to drop the slutty look.
    Wife needs to drop the adulteress look.

    1. avatar Brad Kozak says:

      What…and kill their ratings before the show even gets started?

  19. avatar Bernard Brown says:

    Pic #1
    Our Whiskey–Can’t have it.

  20. avatar Don Curton says:

    Pic #5, 6 or 7 –

    Daughter’s thought bubble:
    “Yeah, the rest of my family is, like, standing around and everything, but everyone’s looking at me! Me me me me me! I’m the star!”

    Mom’s thought bubble:
    “Yeah, right, honey. There’s a whole industry devoted to MILF and your Daddy paid big money for these boobs. I’m the fricking star!”

    1. avatar Totenglocke says:

      It’s no different than what’s her name being the star on Sons of Guns.

      1. avatar Don Curton says:

        Yeah, I love the fricking fake romance angle they got going on with Sons of Guns. The one guy ask the Dad’s permission to date the girl and gets told no. Either quit the job or forget the girl, but no workplace romances allowed. Show ends with him moping around and a cut-away shot of the girl looking confused and lonely.

        So much of that show seems scripted. It has almost nothing to do with guns, really. I’d rather watch R. Lee Ermy on mail call, if that’s even on anymore.

  21. avatar Chris Dumm says:

    “And the Emmy for ‘Most Disturbing Exploitation Of Your Trophy Wife’s Silicon Breast Implants And Your Juvenile Daughter’s Brazilian Wax Job’ goes to…”

  22. avatar Ben Eli says:

    Picture #5: Toes? We don’t need no stinking toes.

  23. avatar Derek says:

    So the guy is intentionally slutting up his own wife and daughter, plastering them on national television and generally making a joke of himself, his family, and his business that he’s worked most of his life to build, all for the sake of being on tv…

    So what’s new?

  24. avatar Open Yereyes says:

    Pic #6

    The Wyatts are your typical suburban family except they just happen to own one of the premiere firearms facilities in the world.

    Translation: Dad is a shady businessman, mom is a replacement trophy wife with big fake cans, daughter is a jail bait tease and the son is a confused wannabe Bieber with that haircut…

  25. avatar anthony paschal says:

    1. Welcome ATF.
    2.I hate this f_ _g job.
    3. I brought you in this world!
    4. Duh, gun?
    5. Nookie sandwich
    6. Mom thinks she is top shelf but who’s are you looking at?
    7. You talking to me!!

  26. It really is almost all we’ve been reading pertaining to several weeks right now * housing market, home foreclosures, a weak economic system, and so on. While the information can be hopeless regarding home owners struggling to pay for his or her …funny videos

  27. avatar Strega says:

    Damn…I ran across this site but from the looks of all that comment here…all I see is envy, ignorance and sarcasm. Is this another site about how guns are responsible for killing people? Like fattening foods are to blame for fat people? It’s a family business that not only is recognized for their gunsmith ability….they are marketable. I suppose you all watch Jersey Shores and Keeping up with the skank Kardasian’s. Good thing there are hundreds of channels to watch if you don’t like one….but it appears most here do watch American Guns, so why all the spam comments?

  28. avatar Elwoogy says:

    All u ever hear is how guns kill people. U never hear about how their suing the knif makers for the guy that got stabbed 20 times.
    So I say to all of them GET A LIFE !!!!!!
    Oh yea and Maby y’all should read the second amendment.

  29. avatar Steven says:

    Their daughter Paige is the epitome of the tits for brains blonde bimbo. Those implants of hers are ridiculous and judging from a lot of her statements I think her head is filled with straw.

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