I’m just about on a first name basis with my UPS man. It’s like Christmas almost every afternoon when I get that knock on the door. Usually, it’s something mundane or utilitarian. Or maybe a book. But sometimes, it’s something really fun I was anxious to get. In any case, I’m always glad to see that boxy brown truck pull up at the curb. An unidentified Minnetonka, Minnesota woman wasn’t quite so happy to see her driver, though…

OK, she was glad he’d finally gotten there. But as foxnews.com reports (you decide) she was rather put out that it had taken him so long.

Officers were called to a residence Monday morning. The woman who was upset her package arrived late showed a gun and told the UPS driver he couldn’t leave.

Listen, deary, there are few things in life these days as reliable as UPS. Why the US .gov doesn’t just shutter the entire USPS tomorrow and split that sorry-ass operation between UPS and FedEx, I have no f-ing idea.

If your package was late, the chances that it was due to lassitude on the part of the men in chocolate are about as big as the chances that you’ve been religiously keeping up with your assigned meds regimen. You’ll want to redirect your shrew-like disapproval at whoever shipped the item to you and keep your heater in the house from now on, OK?

25 Responses to Minnesota Woman Succumbs to Package Anxiety

  1. Hi, Hopeless Pedant here. It’s “whoever shipped”, not “whomever shipped”. “Whomever” is objective, “whoever” subjective.

  2. Just a quick comment about the USPS. It is true that they run in the red, but that is the fault of the congress. In 2006, congress mandated that the Postal Service pay for future retirement obligations; this is significant, for they pay some 7.5 billion for retirement benefits, but over 5 billion of that is for future retirees. If it were not for that mandate, the PO would be running a surplus.

    Also, if the services offered by the USPO were simply handed over to private companies, I do not believe that rural residents would get anywhere near the service they get now. And I am not sure what would happen to bulk mailings–many of these are political, not just junk mail.

  3. Reliable as UPS? There’s a reason they have an reputation somewhere below the general incompetence of USPS. If you have a local driver who actually shows up to the correct address with the right package that isn’t a box full of broken things, you’re in a distinct minority.

  4. Glad you have luck with UPS. I prefer not to use them whenever possible. Try Googling ‘UPS driver theft’ and get an eye opener. They have ‘lost’ plenty of packages of mine over the years. This is especially true when its been a firearm related delivery. Almost always the status online reads ‘left on porch,’ yet I work from home next to the front door. No truck, no knock, no delivery, no package.
    Over the years I have been accused of stealing them myself, trying to get a driver fired, or given excuses like “our trucks are followed by thieves who may steal from your porch,” or “a substitute was working that day.” And I have a cheap surveillance system for my house that had time/date stamped video feed. Its about the only thing that changes their tune when I call. Get a sig. Always.

    My normal driver is pleasant enough but as a company they simply aren’t a carrier I trust. When I purchase an item I always ask the company to require a signature upon delivery. Trust me when I say you’ll save yourself some grief. Either require a signature or have it delivered to a place of business. Live by a simple motto. Trust but verify.

    BTW – The last purchase I made that went ‘missing’ was a competition White Oak Armament upper. WOA didn’t think a signature was necessary and it was ‘lost,’ UPS unwilling to reimburse them. Two months later I still haven’t received the replacement (hand built).

    Lastly, I can understand this ladies frustration, but its not worth being angry. Unless you receive the item, the monetary loss is someone else’s problem. Call the company, have them make a claim, then have them ship you a new one. Dispute the payment with your credit card if they refuse. You’ll always win. Who pays for it is between UPS and the company that shipped; not you.

    • While much of what you say may be true – who always (or is it whom-LOL) is the customers – in the end, it costs us all with increased prices of either shipping and/or goods.

      • I have zero reason to exaggerate and/or to lie. Did you Google ‘UPS Driver theft?’

        You know, I didn’t have to be an advocate for WOA when the package was ‘lost.’ Most people would just dispute the charge and let the company eat their loss. I even offered a date/time stamped copy of video and testimony by neighbors that the truck never showed up. UPS was uninterested. I just didn’t think it right for WOA to have to eat the cost when UPS was to blame.

        The better question is why would UPS work so hard to protect potential drivers who are thieves?

        Just do yourself a favor. Regardless of who you use as a shipper, require a signature for delivery..

  5. I guess we’re union bashing today (USPS). As most here, I’ve had shipments delivered from FedEx, UPS and the USPS, and have had issues with all three at some time, who hasn’t. So to say one is better than an other for reliability is a personal opinion, not fact. Just ordered two safe lights from Dean Safe Co in California, and it only took two days from shipment to receiving to the St. Louis area by the USPS. Plus the shipping cost was only $4.56! I’d consider that excellent service from the USPS. Also, I would recommend Dean Safe Co, this was my first purchase from them, but the order was shipped the next day, and their prices were the best I could find.

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