OK, so offering a gun with the purchase of something or other isn’t exactly new any more. It’s usually a car dealer offering an AK or other gun with the purchase of a new pick-‘em up truck or other vehicle. But that doesn’t make the offer of a free heater any less of a draw. And it seems to be a pretty good PR generating program too…

What’s unusual this time is it’s not a retail business but a credit card services company, Merchant Services, that’s offering the free gun. They’re promoting the Russian rifle as just one part of their No Victims merchant protection program.

“Our No Merchant Victims campaign is designed to earn your business with a value proposition that is unmatched in our industry today,” says (merchant services president) Kauzlarich.  “This special program is designed to protect merchants against robberies, employee theft, hackers and credit card processing rate increases,” he adds.

Do business with Us and get a Free AK-47 up to $750.00 depending on Number of Stores or Credit Card Processing Volume whichever is less…Voucher can be redeemed for Cash and is issued after 3rd month of processing is complete.

The good news is that it doesn’t appear you’re limited to an AK, which might be hard to keep discreetly hidden near the cash register.

“Keep in mind we are not simply handing out AK-47 assault rifles to anyone who opens an account with us.  Instead, the merchant receives a voucher that can be used at any reputable gun shop where they must go through the proper background checks and waiting period that the law requires,” said Gino Kauzlarich, President of MerchantService.com, Inc.

So if you fancy a XD or an SR9 rather than a Kalashnikov as your preferred means of retail establishment defense, have at it. Should you qualify for the full $750 voucher, you’ll have plenty left over for ammo. In the mean time, if you’re in the market for a new credit card services provider, you can check out the program (and enjoy their catchy theme song) at nomerchantvictims.com.

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9 Responses to Want a Free AK? Ditch That PayPal Account

  1. I dislike PayPal (although I do have an account) because they prohibit the purchase of guns, parts or ammo through their service.

  2. Does any one know of a good safe alternative to paypal ? I have an account , but like most I’m assuming , don’t like their stance on guns . Now apparently christian issues

  3. If you need an alternative to accept credit cards, http://www.propay.com can set you up online- their process is to send an invoice to your customer, who does his thing on their secure site. They also have alternatives for taking cards in person, which, in my experience, work just fine.
    For in person accepting of cards, if you have a smartphone, check out http://www.squareup.com. I’ve got one, though I haven’t had a chance to use it yet.

  4. There are other ways to get a free rifle. The First National Bank of Colorado, which last year changed its name from the Bank of Boulder, began offering guns instead of interest payments in 1976 on long term deposits like CDs. The North Country Bank and Trust in Michigan also offers a rifle in place of interest on your money. How it works is you deposit your money for a set number of years and get your rifle. at the end of your deposit’s term, you get your deposit back, the rifle or shotgun represents your interest.

  5. Its such as you learn my thoughts! You seem to know so much about this,
    such as you wrote the e-book in it or something.

    I think that you can do with some p.c. to force the message home a little bit, but other than that, that is wonderful blog.
    An excellent read. I’ll certainly be back.

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