Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god! A stun gun on a plane! A stun gun! On a plane! Terrorists. Terrorists could use a stun gun on a plane to take control of the plane and fly it into a building. Another 911. Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god! Of course, people aren’t stupid anymore. There’s no such thing as a hijack anymore. Passengers wouldn’t stay in their seats like good little sheep anymore. They’d attack! Yes. They’d attack the terrorist or terrorists. Even if they had a stun gun. Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god! A stun gun on a plane! A stun gun! On a plane! Wait. I know. Let’s ban them. Yes! Let’s ban stun guns. What are stun guns? It says here in the Washington Post that . . .

Stun guns marketed for personal protection or shaped like cellphones are readily available online. There are also larger sizes, often shaped like pistols, that are increasingly being used by police departments across the country. Some organizations strongly oppose them, fearful they can be abused without clear guidelines.

The device, which usually works by firing wired barbs that stick into a person’s body and deliver a powerful and immobilizing shock, are governed by restrictions in many states, including New Jersey and Massachusetts.

Ban them everywhere! A federal ban on stun guns. Never mind that it’s illegal to take a stun gun on a plane now. We need to stop producing them just in case. Don’t we?

Security expert Bruce Schneier said items sometimes slip through security, and it’s unlikely the breach was intentional. He said the media’s reporting on each item that makes it through security, despite the large percentage of the items that are detected and confiscated on a daily basis, is what alarms the public.

“The big picture is, airports are safe, this is all security theater,” he said. “Airport security doesn’t have to be perfect to be good enough; perfect is too expensive.”

Others worry how a weapon banned or restricted in many states could make it onto a plane when restrictions have been tightened to that more innocuous items are banned.

Greg Comcowich, a spokesman for the FBI’s Boston office, declined to comment on the investigation.

“We understand the public is interested in this case, but we are not releasing any information at this time,” he said.

What? What information aren’t they releasing? Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god! Something must be done!

12 Responses to FBI: Stun Gun on Boston-to-NJ Flight Wasn’t a Terrorist Attack

  1. “The device, which usually works by firing wired barbs that stick into a person’s body and deliver a powerful and immobilizing shock”

    Fact check at the WaPo, please. Fact check at the WaPo.

    This sentence describes a Taser. A stun gun is a contact weapon.

    • Well, Tasers do function as a stun gun if you remove the cartridges that contain the barbs. And they function largely the same when using the barbs and not using the barbs. The difference is area affected and the fidelity of the electronic circuit and the way the the circuitry of a Taser regulates its signal when the circuit isn’t as good as when solidly connected to a body via the barbs.

      IMO, Tasers are stun guns the way Glocks are handguns and handguns are guns. That Tasers are a special type of stun gun with the feature of being able to shoot up to 15-25 feet isn’t all that important in the context of this article.

  2. “but we are not releasing any information at this time”

    Another situation apparently originating from Logan “9-11” International.

  3. Clearly we need strip and cavity searches before boarding.

    The government is playing the fear card to turn America from the “land of the free and the home of the brave” into the “land of chains and the home of the fearful of the bogeyman under every bed.

    The terrorists have won.

  4. Maybe it belonged to a pissed off Air Marshall who has been flying so many miles and being so tired by trying to protect a bunch of livestock that are afraid of a little ol’ terrorist?

    And yes, John, the terrorists have indeed won.

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