It’s good to know that, at least in Boston, the Mayor has his eye on the ball. Crime-wise, that is. When a little boy was shot by a couple of scumbags on dirt bikes last week, Mayor Thomas Menino jumped into action. He’s obviously had quite enough of this kind of senseless violence. As far as he’s concerned, the time has come to do something about the root causes of these disturbing crimes. So he’s asked the Massachusetts legislature to ban dirt bikes in the city . . .
A child was shot in a Dorchester park Monday night, and motorized dirt bikes emerged as the villain, with the city moving swiftly to ban the buzzing vehicles, which the mayor and police commissioner blamed for fostering mayhem.
It’s hard to read something like “motorized dirt bikes emerged as the villain” without your head spinning. At least a little bit. I wouldn’t want to be a Kawasaki dealer in Beantown. I can only imagine the civil suit that’s coming from the victim’s family.
Wait. Don’t you mean he’s banning guns in Boston? No, they’ve already done that. Or as much as is possible in a post-Heller and post-McDonald world.
No, I mean that Menino wants to ban dirt bikes. Because the wayward yoots who shot the little boy were riding dirt bikes. What exactly don’t you understand about this long-overdue, common-sense public safety measure?
But wait, you say. What about drive-by shootings? Surely Boston isn’t immune to them. First, don’t call me Shirley. Second, don’t ask me why they haven’t banned automobiles in Boston. Cars have obviously emerged as the villains in Boston drive-bys. Right?
But back to the dirt bikes. “Investigators now believe the shooter fled on foot, but police said the presence of motorbikes in the park created an even more chaotic situation.” Uh oh.
Given that, there’s only one thing to do if you’re Mayor Menino. The way forward from here seems clear. In order to maintain a semblance of public order and to prevent these kinds of senseless crimes in the future, shoes must be banned in Boston. It’s really the only way.