The Asheville, North Carolina Police Department are in a world of trouble. Seems that all kinds of evidence has disappeared from their evidence room: money, drugs and, of course, guns. Solid cases are going bye-bye. “Three people are under investigation, and two of them, police employees assigned to the evidence room, have been suspended with pay after nearly 400 oxycodone prescription painkillers were found missing April 1,” citizens-times.com reports. “Anybody who had access to it has to be investigated,” promises District Attorney Ron Moore. The number of potential suspects remains unspecified; it could be hundreds. But at least we get a glimpse of the scale of the perfidy . . .

A sample audit of 1,097 “high-risk” items begun after [property control specialist William Lee] Smith’s resignation, showed 27 guns, 54 containers of drugs and 34 packages of money and valuables missing.

That’s 115 items out of a sample of 1,097. I make that a 10.5 percent loss. The citizen-times reports that the Asheville evidence room is/was home to 14,000 “high risk items.” So 1470 items may have gone walkies.

That could be millions of dollars’ worth of confiscated swag. Spending $175k to investigate the theft seems like a reasonable investment, right? Yes, well, here’s the kicker:

The Police Department will use $175,000 in drug seizure money to pay for an audit of its evidence room after guns, drugs and money disappeared, city officials said Wednesday.

Did you catch that? The Asheville Police Department is investigating itself using drug money. ‘Scuse me for saying so, but Holy Shit. They don’t even pull that kind of bullshit here in Rhode Island. Just in case Asheville residents don’t smell a rat, get a whiff of this:

City Council voted unanimously Tuesday night to pay $175,000 for the audit to be conducted by Mike Wright, a former crime scene analyst with the Buncombe County Sheriff’s Office, who now runs Blueline Systems & Services, LLC.

A former local cop? You’re shitting me. [No website for Blueline. Quel surprise.] Dudes, call the FBI. Otherwise, the credibility of the Asheville North Carolina Police Department is zilch. Which it may already be, truth be told.

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6 Responses to Asheville PD Use Drug Money to Look for Missing Drug Money

  1. This would be a ballsy move for Cook County. Doesn’t North Carolina have a state auditor that can do this job? I’m amazed that this hasn’t raised holy Tarheel hell.

  2. Certainly you do not mean to impugn the integrity of the Assville PD — oops, I meant Ashville — the finest police department east of Chicago.

  3. When asked about the missing oxycodone, the suspended officers said ”huuuuuuuuuuh, whattttttttttttt pillllllllllllllllllllssssssssss………..huuuuh?”

  4. What? You mean our law enforcement officers aren’t angels that walk the earth. My dreams are shattered.

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