24 Responses to Finish This Sentence: “I Was Fixing My Pickup’s Carburetor When Suddenly . . .

  1. I was attacked by a platoon sized element of morons who stand in the open. Luckily I’m always strapped like I live in Mosul, not Palm Springs so I easily dispatched them with the battle rifle I keep handy in my golf bag.

  2. …I was approached by a horde of crazed mall ninjas with no concept of trigger discipline. Figured I teach ’em a lesson or two.

  3. I Was Fixing My Pickup’s Carburetor When Suddenly . . . I remembered that it’s 2011 and my pickup has multi-port fuel injection and I haven’t owned any vehicle with a carb since the first Reagan administration. Well, I was so humiliated by my automotive faux pas that I shot everybody who was laughing at me. Now I’m doing thirty life terms in Dannemora. Wow, is my face red!

  4. … when the Spanish Inquisition approached aggressively. They didn’t have any ranged weapons so I double tapped the closest few before returning to my vehicle to utilize my battle rifle. Once the threats were neutralized a shapely woman told me how long the skirmish had taken. Then I sat down and had the shakes. This was insane! I mean… nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!

  5. I still love seeing my local range pop up on TTAG… that 50ft “PHOENIX” sign always gives it away!

        • It’s a great range overall, although the RO’s at the “Main Range” can be a bit… tempermental. I’m sure that they are just frustrated from hundreds of idiots who don’t understand a simple “don’t go near your bench during a cease fire” rule. Either way, it’s a well-maintained range, cheap ($7 per day but $70 for a 1-year membership.. and most of the range fees go to youth programs), and there are TONS of local matches of all types (pistol, 3-gun, clays, CMP, long-range rifle, etc).

  6. …I realized that my truck does not HAVE a carburetor and that I was mistakenly working on somebody else’s truck, much to my chagrin.

  7. … when some chick came out of nowhere with a shot timer – my natural reflex actions were to get all John McClane on stuff. Except for the chick.

  8. …I heard The Tone. The one my Manchurian captors had oh-so-carefully used when brainwashing me. And so, Your Honor, I had to shoot everybody. For the woods are lovely, dark, and deep, but I have promises to keep. And miles to go before I sleep, and miles to go before I sleep.

  9. The shooter is Travis Gibson (19th scoped tactical out of over 300shooters), with Mike Gibson Manufacturing. Travis is the match director for arguably the best 3 gun match in the country. The MGM IronMan.

  10. When I noticed the approach of Al Gore leading an armada of Chevy Volts , fortunately they ran out of juice before reaching my position.

  11. …when a group of mobility-challenged, unidentifiable, faceless blue aliens suddenly beamed down, obviously intent on taking over the planet. My phaser, being useless against the likes of these dummies, I was forced into mortal combat with the use of over-powering high-velocity projectiles from late 20th century earth arsenal. Blue alien flesh was no match for this ancient weaponry and results were satisfactory. Negotiations ensue.

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