The truth hurts. Unless you happen to be wearing a garment fashioned from the new bulletproof tweed material when shooting grouse in Scotland in the company of Italians. Obviously that’s not a picture of the clothing in question; it’s Dick Cheney in something a bit more . . . orange. Let’s connect the dots, shall we? “A Scottish textiles company has launched a range of jackets and waistcoats, complete with body armour sown into the fabric, in an effort to stop sportsmen being injured,” The Telegraph reports.

In the most famous example of the perils of hunting game, Mr Cheney injured his friend, Harry Whittington, by spraying him with shotgun pellets during a shoot at a Texas ranch in 2006. However, Jack Ellis, the Angus-based firm behind the new garments, is also targeting them at Russian oligarchs keen to protect themselves from assassination attempts.

Or grouse-drunk Italians. Or an assassin passing himself off as a grouse-mad Italian. .

One Response to “Now nervous gamekeepers can provide clients with extra protection, especially from trigger-happy Italians who get excited on the moors”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *