“A retired teacher shot and critically wounded one of two men who allegedly broke into his Brooklyn home early Wednesday carrying weapons that were later determined to be fakes, police and neighbors said.” You don’t have to read learnaboutguns.com to know that self-defense shootings are a dime a dozen. I guess this one caught the Wall Street Journal’s editorial eye by dint of the toy guns. “The joke’s on YOU mofo” isn’t usually their style—unless someone loses a billion or two. Anyway . . .

Assuming there’s no story behind the story (as if), can we go home and lock the doors now? I mean, that would be the right response, yes? Here’s the last sentence of their report:

“I’m really surprised this kind of thing happened,” said an area resident, Martha Beckman, 58. “I think I’m going to start locking my screen doors so they know somebody’s in there.”

Yeah, that’ll work.

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