God, how I love irony. (It’s like goldie or bronzie, but more afforable.) Today, when word went out across the InterWebs that someone had taken hostages at the formerly-credible tree-hugging network known as The Discovery Channel, I shuddered. Not because of the potential loss of innocent lives. That’s ALWAYS scary. No, I figured it would end up being some nut that was protesting how every other word on Discovery seems to be “green” and how they’ve become Al Gore’s bee-yatch on Ecological Ponzi Schemes (a.k.a. CLimate Change). But noooooooooo! It wasn’t a pistol-packin,’ Palin-lovin,’ animal-eatin’ cowboy shootin’ up the joint. Nope It was some moron who thought The Discovery Channel is too Conservative, and too soft on ecological issues.

Give that a think for a second. That’s like kidnapping Paris Hilton for not abusing enough cocaine. Or targeting Cindy Sheehan for not hating the United States enough. But I digress.

This ass clown evidently published a screed on the ‘net, demanding that The Discovery Channel produce shows in favor of sterilization. He believed that overpopulation was a huge danger for the planet. In fact, he stated emphatically that “Humans don’t belong on this planet.”

How very 70’s of him.

You see, crises follow patterns. There’s a story arc. It’s like a horse that the mainstream media rides it until it pulls up lame. Then they jump to the next Crise du Mois and ride IT for all it’s worth. Here’s a cheat sheet:

  • 60s – The A-Bomb, The Pill, The Bra, The Flu
  • 70s – Overpopulation, DDT, Freon, The H-Bomb
  • 80s – Swine Flu, Assault Weapons, Interns, El Niño, Neutron Bomb
  • 90s – Bird Flu, Global Warming, Saturday Night Specials, Plastic Guns
  • 00s – Swine Flu (again), Assault Weapons, El Niña, Terrorists
  • 10s – Assault Weapons, Climate Change, Ceramic Knives, Pandemics

As you can see, this Bozo missed the timeliness of his message by, oh, around 40 years. Had he latched onto one of the other evergreen boogiemen like “Assault Weapons,” he might have had better luck. Other info we can glean from the chart above would indicate that Cole Porter was right: everything that’s old IS new again. But I digress. Again.

If you watch the lamestream media’s coverage of today’s events, you can almost see the gears turning inside the talking head’s heads, trying to find a way to spin this so that the evil cabal of the Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy/Gun Nuts/Conservatives/Angry White Guys takes the hit.

Sadly (for them), this little Nimrod was Asian, as left-wing as you can get (and still have both arms) and an ecoNazi. But he did have gun. Expect to see his “gun-liness” emphasized, and his other bona fides swept under the rug. (OMG!! Call Dan Baum at Harpers! We’ve found a Liberal who loves guns! Oh wait . . . )

Like some misbegotten Borderline Personality Disorder sufferer, the MSM likes to look at their worldview first,  the facts, second. They can’t let an Inconvenient Truth or two (like this mental midget being Asian, Liberal, and psychotic) get in the way of a story that reinforces their core message (Guns are evil, I tell you! Evil! EVIL!!). So they simply ignore the inconvenient facts and wail on the ones they approve of.

How con-VEEEEEEN-ient.

Here’s the straight dope on today’s near-tragedy: a certain percentage of the population has been, is, and will always be full-goose Bozo. Crazy as a bedbug. More looney than a Looney Tunes Cartoon under a full lunar eclipse. Fact o’ Life. And in order to allow the sane people (that would be me, and presumably you) to defend ourselves against the crazies, sometimes the laws that protect our right to keep and bear arms get abused by those who have no business wielding so much as a sharp toothpick.

Ironically, if you banned guns from honest citizens, the nut-jobs would still be able to find a gun. In the end, I wonder if things might have turned out any differently had anybody nearby in the building had a concealed carry gun.

I’m NOT saying that if they did they should have gotten into a gun battle with this idiot. That’s a judgement call that only someone on site could have made. But it’s interesting to wonder what the perp’s ‘tude might have been, had he known that the building was full of people perfectly capable of helping him to take a dirt nap.

As it was, the cops eventually tired of his shenanigans, and they put him down. Death by S.W.A.T. I suspect it’s not quite what he wanted. But he did ask for it, in more ways than one. I’m sure the SWAT team looked at that statement he made about “Humans don’t belong on this planet” and thought . . .

“You first.”

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