Let’s get one thing straight: Jessica Biel is not gay. Wait, that’s not it. And it would be fine if she was. In fact . . . Uh, where was I? Right. Jessica Biel has not seen the original A-Team TV Series. That’s a crime she did commit. “I’ve never seen it to this day,” Biel told the L.A. Times. “I don’t want to see what we’re working against. Until we’re done with this, I thought, ‘I’m not going to look at it so we can do something completely fresh.’ I’ll look at it when we’re done.” Biel didn’t watch the A-Team for artistic reasons? I know that playing the ex-lover of Templeton “Faceman” Peck (Bradley Cooper) must have required her reach deep into her soul, but a little face time with Mr. T’s B.A. Baracus could have helped her cleanse her artistic palate. Anyway, guns . . .
“I’ve been training a lot with an M4 semi-automatic assault rifle, a machine gun and a Beretta 9-millimeter,” Biel said, crisply attired in full military dress detail, her hair pulled back in a demure ponytail for the court-martial scene.
In other words, don’t expect the former “7th Heaven” ingenue to show up as mere eye candy in “The A-Team.” [ED: Heaven forfend!] “It is so physically challenging – holding up your gun, firing your magazine, reloading,” Biel said. “It’s a strain on your shoulders and upper back. A machine gun hangs around your neck, and it’s incredibly heavy. Plus you have all the magazines strapped around your chest and stomach. With the vest, it really pulls!”
The Brits amongst our readers will realize Biel’s rather unfortunate choice of verbs. Come to think of it (so to speak), so will everyone else. Carry On. Which the Brits will know would have been an ideal acting troop to tackle this assignment.