We here at TTAG are always on the alert for a good old-fashioned gun grab. Really. If the feds are even feinting in the direction of abridging your Second Amendment right to kick ass and take names with a firearm or forty, we’ll let you know. It’s who we are and what we do. Well, it’s part of who we are and what we do [note: strapline above]. We try not to let it, uh, get to us. Sure, I look over my shoulder every now and then. And yes, I watch Glenn Beck (often with morbid fascination), OWN GUNS and practice shooting them every two days or so. But I don’t see a gun grabber behind every Bush. Or Obama. Alas, the same can not be said for former action hero and plastic surgery survivor Chuck Norris. Mr. Norris is an NRA supporter in a, dare I say it, Jim Jones kinda way. And just as his heroes needed villains, Mr. Norris’ pro-gun fervor requires bad guys. Lucky for Chuck, in his world, they’re everywhere . . .

Right now, Washington is scheming and scamming to erode and then erase the Second Amendment from our Constitution. And it will accomplish it through the signing of international treaties on gun control, bypassing the normal legislative process in Congress, tightening regulations upon firearm and ammunition manufacturers, using the anti-gun financing of tycoons and ultimately confiscating all firearms under the guise of terrorism patrol and enforcement. Without public debate and cloaked in secrecy, gun control covertly will come upon us like a thief in the night. One day, we will wake up to discover that the U.S. has signed a global treaty that will prohibit any transfer of firearm ownership, force reductions in the number of firearms privately owned and eventually eradicate the planet of guns for law-abiding citizens. Of course, the criminals still will have their guns illegally. And on that day, if you do not comply with that global treaty, you will be fined and face imprisonment. This is not a fictitious story or false warning. As sure as government health care has been shoved down our throats, so will the barrels of our guns. And left with little defense, we will go as lambs to the slaughter.

Why do I see this as a Star Wars-type scroll leading to the movie Lambs to the Slaughter? And what’s with the idea that the feds are going to shove our own gun barrels down our throats? That’s WAY too sexual a metaphor for me. Unless, the Divine Mr. M meant it in an entirely non-allegorical way. I see it! I see it! The agent put the gun barrel in her mouth. And then, BLAM! You come in, guns blazing. We’ll need a line. Something memorable, like “I’ll be back.” How about . . . “No. YOU shove it!”

More to the point, Chuck, baby, you need to read TTAG more often. (Once would be nice, and give us a heads-up, will ya? Ta.) We’ve exploded the myth of the Small Arms Treaty as a gun grab. And exposed the “real” U.N. threat to small arms ownership.

Anyway, you may wonder what outlet is publishing Mr. Norris’ three-part (yes, three-part) polemic. That would be energypublisher.com (a.k.a. EnerPub). They’re a Texan mob; Chuck’s (literal) stomping grounds. Webmaster Clint Gillespie wouldn’t tell TTAG the names of the “three or four journalists” behind the site, and didn’t know how the martial arts and Total Gym promoter came to write for them. But “You do know Chuck Norris is political, right?” Roger that.

Cut to Carnation, Washington . . .

“NRA” might mean “National Rifle Association,” but to me, it also means “Never Remove (your) Arms.” The fact is the Second Amendment could even save your life.

That was the case this past year for Vern Grant, a 75-year-old Army veteran with Parkinson’s disease and diabetes who had just suffered through the death of his wife. Grant was attacked by a burglar in his Carnation, Wash., home. After smashing the windows of Grant’s handicap van and scavenging through his medicines, the intruder broke the glass of Grant’s back door and entered his home. Grant says the intruder was incoherently screaming.

The intruder nearly killed Grant after hitting him in the head. But Grant was able to grab and fire his gun in self-defense, hitting the attacker. Grant miraculously made it to his neighbor’s house, where he sought help.

The suspect was airlifted to a hospital with non-life-threatening injuries, and Grant was released from the hospital after his head wounds were treated.

Can you believe he just GIVES this shit away? Check out the whole piece. Or wait for the movie.

One Response to Just Because Chuck Norris is Paranoid Doesn’t Mean He’s Crazy. Does It?

  1. Mike Huckabee’s stand-up routine and these Chuck Norris powerpoints are very funny to me because several years ago I read an article touting how secure and non-confrontational Chuck Norris was in real life. Now he’s super macho man again.

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