Not Grigori Rasputin, of course. Just someone who now shares the Russian monk’s reputation for unkillability. The Newham Recorder reports that Mohammed Sheikh’s friend (?) fired at shotgun at the Newham native at point-blank range, after accepting a lift. A shotgun? Didn’t see that one coming . . . Not to get too gruesome, but what ammo did Babar Ali Shah use when he “blasted off his friend’s thumb and peppered him with fifty shotgun pellets”? Never mind. Mohammed survived “by holding up his hand to protect himself from the blast” as he “dived out of his Jeep Cherokee covered in blood, convinced he was about to die.” I guess some people need more convincing than others, eh? “Passenger Shazad Ahmed was badly wounded when Shah and a friend battered him around the head with two sawn-off shotguns near Mr Sheikh’s home in Northolt, Middlesex.” They do say most assassination attempts happen close to home. Anyway, “Judge David Paget, QC, said at the Old Bailey Shah wouldn’t be eligible for parole for at least 20 years and added: “It’s astonishing that Mr Sheikh survived.” Rather.

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